Captain’s Log – Day 46 – MayDay! MayDay!
Good Morning, Happy Friday and Happy MayDay!
Congratulations! We’re mere hours away from making it through another work-from-home week. As far as I can tell, we’ve all been doing a great job keeping the cogs in the wheels turning smoothly while we are stuck in isolation. I will be announcing our first Work-From-Home Employee of the Month recipient at the end of today’s log.
There are so many new phrases I will be happy to never hear again – “unprecedented times,” “flatten the curve,” and “social distancing” are just a few but there are some new words that just may make it into the next edition of Merriam-Webster. Have you created your own “lockdown lingo?” Are you fully conversant?
Test your lockdown lingo knowledge here.
*Coronacoaster*
The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster.”
*Quarantinis*
Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour,” ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier and earlier with each passing week.
*Blue Skype thinking*
A work brainstorming session which takes place over a videoconferencing app. Such meetings might also be termed a “Zoomposium.” Naturally, they are to be avoided if at all possible.
*Le Creuset wrist*
It’s the new “avocado hand” - an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers. It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbors with your high-quality kitchenware.
*Coronials*
As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn.”
*Furlough Merlot*
Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium.”
*Coronadose*
An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic.
*The elephant in the Zoom*
The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.
*Quentin Quarantino*
An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.
*Covidiot* or *Wuhan-ker*
One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic.” Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker.”
*Goutbreak*
The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.
*Antisocial distancing*
Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbors and generally ignoring people you find irritating.
*Coughin’ dodger*
Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror.
*Mask-ara*
Extra make-up applied to "make one's eyes pop" before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.
*Covid-10*
The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve”.
~Sue Fitzmaurice
Please share any new lingo you may have to add to the above list.
Now, it’s time to announce our first recipient of the Work-From-Home Employee of the Month Award….
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Congratulations!YOU are the recipient of our first Work-From-Home Employee of the Month Award!
As your reward, please feel free to display the appropriate badge below and enjoy the next two days off. You deserve it!
Take care, stay strong, stay home and stay safe.
Physically distant but socially engaged,
~ MB
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