Sizing Up!

Size is a matter of opinion depending on the designer. It seems the more expensive the clothes are the smaller number on the size label. I guess if you pay enough money they will tell you what you want to hear. You may be a size 12 but if you have enough cash you can fit into a size 8. This is why we now have sizes like "00." Soon they'll be coming out with negative sizes. How do you get less than zero?

I've been fitting comfortably in size 12s lately with a few stretchy 10s here and there. I've been dreaming about fitting in to single digit sizes for so long but knew that might be an unrealistic goal for me to be able to sustain. Imagine my surprise when I purchased a pair of size 10 jeans last week that were too big. How is that possible? They do have some stretch to them so that probably had something to do with it. They were not expensive so I don't think they run big but I could be wrong.

I wasn't able to try the jeans on at the store and was worried I wouldn't be able to get into them. I kept holding them up thinking "they look so small," "I'm never going to be able to get my ass into these," "look how tiny they are." I can't believe I'm going to return them for a SIZE 8!!! SIZE EIGHT!!! Me? SIZE EIGHT??? I guess the size doesn't really matter and we should concentrate on feeling good in our skin, not because of what's printed on the label. I remember some bloggers wrote over all the tags on their clothes "SIZE HEALTHY." That's what I've been striving for ~ Size Healthy.

Some days I need to just pinch myself. Am I dreaming? If I lose another 10 pounds will I really be a consistent SIZE EIGHT? Are clothes sized bigger now than years ago? Were the Size 8s I wore in my teens smaller than the Size 8s I'm wearing now?

After years and decades of struggling I think I'm finally figuring it out. It took long enough! Size 8, here I come.

What Size?

What a mess, huh? I have a confession to make to you. I have TONS of clothes I haven't been able to fit into for years, decades even. I have clothes with tags on them and clothes I've been dreaming about fitting back into someday. I have clothes ranging in sizes from 8 to 18 so you can imagine what a mess it is. Just look at that picture. I'm embarrassed to say that this is what one wall of my closet looked like a couple of weeks ago. Since then I have dropped off over 10 bags to charity, given away 3 bags to friends and have many more bags to go but I'm plugging away at it and making some good progress getting rid of the fat clothes and sorting through what is left.

What I really wanted to tell you about though is the pair of "goal" pants I came across. The last time I lost a substantial amount of weight I did it by doing a modified Atkins/South Beach type diet. I survived a year without having any "white stuff," you know, bread, pasta, pizza, rice, potatoes, sugar, flour, etc. I'm not sure how I lasted so long without eating the foods I loved but I did it and lost over 60 pounds by diet alone. I thought I solved the mystery and had this weight thing all figured out but I was so wrong. Once I gave in and ate a crouton I blew back up in record time and ended up even fatter than before.

I knew I couldn't live the rest of my life without eating bread so I spent years trying to find something that would work for me. I don't want to sound cocky but think I've really got it figured out this time and pray that I will never again have to buy fat clothes.

Anyway, back to the story of the "goal" pants ....

I knew I was wearing these particular pants when I was at my lowest weight back then and I know I'm about 20 pounds heavier right now but thought I would try the pants on just to see how much farther I had to go to fit into them. Imagine my surprise when I not only got them past my thighs but was able to button and zip them with absolutely no struggle. They weren't even tight, I had room to spare and there was absolutely no muffin top. How is that possible? How could I fit into these pants when I still had 20 pounds to lose to get to where I was back then?

Even though the scale says I weigh more now than I did then, I think I'm significantly smaller but heavier. Does that even make sense? I have been working my ass off at the gym and know that I am firmer and stronger than I ever have been.

What's your theory? Do you think it makes sense? Do you think it's all because I've been exercising and toning or do you have another theory? I would love to hear your opinion about how I can fit into these pants and still have 20 pounds to lose.

Time to fill up another bag ...

Playing in the Snow

Most people don't understand it but I absolutely love the winter - the more snow the better. I feel sorry for people who hibernate like bears in the winter and don't fully enjoy the snowy season. There is nothing better than gearing up and going out all day to play in the snow. Snowmobiling is so good for my head and it's even better now that I'm not trying to unwind from a horrific week at work, I can just enjoy the ride.

Last Saturday we went on our first snowmobile ride of 2010. We rode 145 miles from Groton, VT, through Danville, Lyndon and into East Burke. We stopped for lunch and a hot drink and then made our way back to Groton. We were out all day from 9 a.m. 'til 6:30 p.m. and I only got stuck once. The trail conditions were not the best but pretty decent considering we haven't gotten much snow in the area. It was extremely cold with temps in the single digits but that only means we take shorter breaks in the treeline out of the wind instead of in the open fields on the top of a mountain.

I was so much more comfortable and could muscle my sled around and stand up more easily while riding since I have more strength and less bulk slowing me down. I did a little happy dance when I put my snowmobile pants on for the first time and didn't feel like a stuffed sausage like I did last year. I was able to zip them up without any problem and even had room to spare. Last year I had to hold them closed, hold my breath, suck it all in and PULL HARD.

I'm going to break out my favorite jacket I haven't been able to wear the last few years to see if it fits. The last time I tried it on I could only get it zipped around my waist but couldn't pull it down over my hips. While everyone else is trying to fit into a bathing suit, I'm making it my winter goal to fit into that jacket before the end of the snowmobile season.

B's on call this long holiday weekend so we can't go up north but I'm already looking forward to the next ride and how much lighter I'll be by then. Ride on.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

No Fun

I remember when I used to love shopping for new clothes. I could go to any store and pick out just about anything and it would fit. Now I hate to shop for clothes because I can't fit my a$$ into anything I like. It is so sad that the designers don't make stylish clothes for the majority of women in the world. Are there really that many size 00-2's out there? I don't see that many on the street? Where are they all? at the gym? I don't see that many of them there either.

It's funny how clothes that would look adorable in size 9-10 look like old lady fat clothes in a size 16-18. Things need to change. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep talking about losing weight and thinking about losing weight but not doing enough about it to get results. It is making me crazy.

I was also thinking about how I keep saying I know how to lose but haven't been able to maintain any substantial loss but that really isn't true. The few times I've lost a substantial amount of weight (over 60 pounds) I never made it down to my goal weight. I would start gaining the weight back even before I got to my goal weight. I need to change things and get to the finish line and then figure out how to do the maintenance thing. I'm not getting any younger.