Numbers Game

You can't win if you don't play. I thought for sure this was my winning ticket even though the odds were better that I would be struck by lightening 7 times on a sunny day. No matter how terrible the odds, I still wasted a few dollars so I could dream about what I would do with all that loot. Sadly, I still have to go to work for a living and I will not be able to give cold hard cash out to my family, friends and strangers on the street but the dream lives on.

If you live in the United States you probably spent at least a dollar during the recent MegaMillions frenzy because the jackpot was as high as a half a BILLION dollars. Almost everyone I know had a ticket and we all had lofty dreams of what we would do with the money if we won.

I started thinking about how I used to dream about getting in shape while sitting on my ass watching infomercials of the latest quick fix, easy weight loss, diet craze. I wanted it so badly but realized that no matter how much I wanted it, wanting and dreaming about it was never going to make it happen. It just wasn't enough. Like the lottery, you can't win if you don't play. You can't expect to win the weight loss battle if you never get your ass off the couch just like you have absolutely no chance of winning the big lottery jackpot if you don't buy a ticket.

So remember, no matter how badly you want to win, you have to be in it to win it.

Get out and play!

Numbers Game

I apologize for being so inconsistent with my posts. Seems like I wrote more when I wasn't losing than I do now. I'm probably one of the most inconsistent bloggers around but just because I haven't posted does not mean I've given up and fallen off "the wagon." I'm still here and going strong. Well, maybe not strong but I'm going and getting stronger every day.

I did manage to gain 2.8 pound this week but I'm not really that upset about it. After weighing myself every single day for over a year I've learned that my weight can fluctuate up to 5 pounds from one day to the next, it doesn't necessarily mean I binged or didn't work out all week. It can be such a head game but we have to learn how to get over the numbers. It is what it is and we can't let it throw us off track.

We've all played the numbers game, right? We start a diet determined to lose "X" amount of weight in "X" amount of days and if we don't see the numbers we want on the scale we tend to throw our hands in the air and give up because what's the use. We workout, we eat right and we don't lose as much as we expected to lose or may even show a gain. It's enough to make you crazy and start thinking negative, self-defeating thoughts and send us running to the kitchen to stuff down our frustrations with all the foods we had been denying ourselves. We tend to say things like "What's the use? I exercised every single day, avoided all those yummy foods I wanted and gained weight. I give up." Don't ever give up!

I'm happy to say that I've stopped playing this numbers game for the most part. Over the past year and a half I have concentrated more on my workouts, fighting the urge to binge and mindlessly eat and being more consistent with my food choices. Some weeks I only lost .1, some weeks I gained and on rare occasions I would lose a few pounds. Whether I lost or gained I've just continued to do what I've been doing and eventually the scale catches up.

I find it a little hard to believe I've lost over 80 pounds and only have about 15 pounds to lose to get to my goal. We all know those last 10-15 pounds are the hardest, right? They're all hard if you ask me but I'm just going to continue to do what I need to do and not worry about how many days/weeks/months it will take me to get there. It's not a race. It took years, decades, a lifetime even, to put it all on so why do we expect it to come off as soon as we sweat for 5 minutes or eat a carrot?

Hang in there, take care of yourself, move your body, fuel it with good stuff and be patient. We'll get there as long as we never give up. It's kind of like the lottery, you can't win if you don't play so get out there and get in the game. Rock on!

Feel Like a Number

I've spent the majority of my life striving to attain a number. I'm always focused on the numbers. Every diet starts by calculating how many weeks it will take to lose x amount of weight . . . if I lose 2 lbs a week I can be down 32 pounds by Christmas but the first week I get on the scale and don't see the 2 lbs loss I get frustrated and lose focus the of big picture.

I'm a photographer - I know how important focus is. I need to focus on the everyday decisions and not the end result. That doesn't mean I'm not going to get on the scale to track how many pounds I lost but if I'm going to make a lifetime commitment to change the way I deal with food I need to take it one decision at a time. Let the numbers fall where they may. The journey should be what it is all about - not the end result. I don't want to crunch numbers every day for the rest of my life. I don't want my life to be ruled by the numbers on the scale, how many calories, how many miles on the treadmill, how many inches, what size pants, etc. I don't need the scale to tell me whether I should feel good or depressed that day. I just want to feel better about myself.

I don't know if I'm ready to post all the numbers. There are so many people out there who are so open about how much they weigh and what their measurements are but I am so embarrassed about my weight. I don't think I have the courage to put it out there for everyone to see. I'm going to start off by working off 70 pounds and hopefully will find the courage to post some pictures and some measurements. I'm not even going to think about how many weeks that will take. I'm just going to work on getting there when I get there.