What Size?

What a mess, huh? I have a confession to make to you. I have TONS of clothes I haven't been able to fit into for years, decades even. I have clothes with tags on them and clothes I've been dreaming about fitting back into someday. I have clothes ranging in sizes from 8 to 18 so you can imagine what a mess it is. Just look at that picture. I'm embarrassed to say that this is what one wall of my closet looked like a couple of weeks ago. Since then I have dropped off over 10 bags to charity, given away 3 bags to friends and have many more bags to go but I'm plugging away at it and making some good progress getting rid of the fat clothes and sorting through what is left.

What I really wanted to tell you about though is the pair of "goal" pants I came across. The last time I lost a substantial amount of weight I did it by doing a modified Atkins/South Beach type diet. I survived a year without having any "white stuff," you know, bread, pasta, pizza, rice, potatoes, sugar, flour, etc. I'm not sure how I lasted so long without eating the foods I loved but I did it and lost over 60 pounds by diet alone. I thought I solved the mystery and had this weight thing all figured out but I was so wrong. Once I gave in and ate a crouton I blew back up in record time and ended up even fatter than before.

I knew I couldn't live the rest of my life without eating bread so I spent years trying to find something that would work for me. I don't want to sound cocky but think I've really got it figured out this time and pray that I will never again have to buy fat clothes.

Anyway, back to the story of the "goal" pants ....

I knew I was wearing these particular pants when I was at my lowest weight back then and I know I'm about 20 pounds heavier right now but thought I would try the pants on just to see how much farther I had to go to fit into them. Imagine my surprise when I not only got them past my thighs but was able to button and zip them with absolutely no struggle. They weren't even tight, I had room to spare and there was absolutely no muffin top. How is that possible? How could I fit into these pants when I still had 20 pounds to lose to get to where I was back then?

Even though the scale says I weigh more now than I did then, I think I'm significantly smaller but heavier. Does that even make sense? I have been working my ass off at the gym and know that I am firmer and stronger than I ever have been.

What's your theory? Do you think it makes sense? Do you think it's all because I've been exercising and toning or do you have another theory? I would love to hear your opinion about how I can fit into these pants and still have 20 pounds to lose.

Time to fill up another bag ...

Feeling the Burn ...

I'm back! I didn't really go anywhere but haven't been spending much time in front of the computer. I'm going to make an effort to update more often and let you know how things are going.

I'm so happy to be able to tell you that I've been feeling absolutely unstoppable lately. I don't know whether it's the endorphin high or I'm just finally feeling good in my own skin but I love it. I struggled for soooo long and when I look back I wonder why. Why did I abuse my body for so many years?


We've been getting hit here in the northeast with one snowstorm after another so I've been getting lots of extra shoveling workouts. We just got ANOTHER 8-10" here in Boston. You know I love the snow but it makes me crazy when we have more snow in Boston than we have in the mountains in Vermont.

The last big storm we had I spent almost two hours shoveling, went to cardio kickboxing, attended my first ever yoga class (WOW!!), hiked around the city in the snow and then came back home and shoveled some more. Another day I jumped through hoops just to get to my kickboxing class. I have so much energy lately and have been finding it hard to sit still long enough to type up an update.

I'm still losing at a snail's pace but I'm still losing. It took me over a year to go from a morbidly obese BMI to merely overweight and now I'm about 20 pounds away from being "Normal." I don't want to jinx anything but I haven't had the slightest gain since September. Some weeks I stayed the same or only lost 0.1 or 0.2 pounds but I'm still going in the right direction and it feels FANTASTIC.

Time to get out there and shovel the latest 8-10" gift from Mother Nature and then get my ass kicked. I can't wait!

If I could give anyone who is struggling once piece of advice it would be "DON'T GIVE UP!" It won't happen overnight but it will happen if you keep working at it and don't give up. You can do it!

Cardio Kickboxing Kicked My Ass

WOW! I had a blast at my first cardio kickboxing class. My friend belongs to Women's Fitness of Boston so she took me as her guest (thanks Kathy!). It was a blast. There is no way I would have ever made it through that class a year ago. I'm not the most graceful gazelle in the herd so it took me a while to get the moves down but I didn't make too much of a fool of myself. Two days later, my ass and hips are still sore, must have been all those squats, lunges and kicks.


If you live in the Boston area, the gym is running a special trial 3 week membership for $21. I already have my Planet Fitness membership but the don't offer any classes. I figured I can go into the city twice a week for kickboxing and it works out to less than $5 a class. Totally worth it, even on my limited unemployment income.


The instructor was amazing. I can't wait 'til next Tuesday to get my ass kicked again.

Happy New Year! and Hot 100 Finale

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Here it is - a clean slate, time to look forward to all the possibilities a new year brings. Do you start each new year by making the same ol' resolutions? How many people wait for the first Monday of the new year to start a new weight loss plan, quit smoking or start working on other goals they really should be working towards every single day of the year? The first Monday of the year holds no magic but I have no doubt the gym will be more crowded than usual. I wonder how many of them will still be there come the first Monday in February.

I love getting a new calendar and imagining what the new year has in store for me. Will I find my dream job? Will I reach my weight loss goals? Will I finally learn how to maintain? It's all possible. I feel blessed and so thankful to have had this time off from the daily grind to learn how to let go of the soul sucking stress I was constantly carrying around. I'm learning how to stop eating my feelings and stuffing down my emotions.



Since getting laid off in November 2009 I have lost a total of 70.9 pounds and feel better than I have in years, decades even. Not working really seems to agree with me. Unfortunately, unless I have the winning lottery ticket in my pocket, I will have to go back to work soon and that scares the crap out of me. I'm worried about falling back into bad habits and not making the time to workout. Just like Ms. O'Hara, I'm not going to think about that now, I'll think about that tomorrow....



Right now it's time for the Hot 100 Finale:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: --------
Week 8: -2.2 lbs.
Week 9: -4.0 lbs.
Week 10: -0.9 lbs.
Week 11: -0.2 lbs.
Week 12: -3.1 lbs.
Week 13: -------
Week 14: -0.4 lbs.
Hot 100 Challenge Weight Loss: 23.1 lbs.
(Total Weight Lost Since 11/2009: 70.9 pounds)
(Total Weight Lost in 2010: 59.1 pounds)



YES! I thought this was going to be the hardest goal to reach but it turned out to be the easiest. I'm amazed that there wasn't a single week of the challenge that I posted a gain. That's not to say my weight didn't tick up here and there during the week but it just so happened that each Friday I weighed less than the previous week. I still feel like pinching myself because I can't believe I lost weight over the holidays. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and miracles do happen.


Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

As you know, the C25K program has been a bit of a thorn in my side but I got a new app on my smartphone so I'm going to test out. Maybe I just need better tunes...such optimism in the new year, huh?

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles


I'm not sure how much muscle I've built up in the past 14 weeks but I don't dread going into the weight room anymore so that is definite progress.


Thanks to Steve for hosting the Hot 100 Challenge. It certainly kept me motivated to stay on track and finish out 2010 on a positive note. I had a blast meeting all my fellow hotties and hope to continue this journey with you.



Wishing you a very healthy and Happy New Year!

Christmas Eve Hot 100 Week 13 Update

Merry Christmas Eve! Are you on Santa's "Nice" or "Naughty" list? I always think I should be on the list somewhere in between naughty and nice.

I hope you didn't get caught up in the commercialism of the season by racking up charges on the credit cards. Presents are great but spending time with the people you love is really what it's all about. Enjoy the beauty of the season, time with family and friends and the joy of giving from the heart.

It's hard to believe we are in the final weeks of the Hot 100.

Status of Hot 100:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: --------
Week 8: -2.2 lbs.
Week 9: -4.0 lbs.
Week 10: -0.9 lbs.
Week 11: -0.2 lbs.
Week 12: -3.1 lbs.
Week 13: -------
Total Hot 100 Challenge Weight Loss to Date: 22.7 lbs.
(Total Weight Lost Since 11/2009: 70.5 pounds)

I didn't get to weigh-in today but if I use yesterday's weigh-in I could report a 2.8 pound loss. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can keep it off after feasting tomorrow.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

Last week I said "I may have to hang my head and admit defeat on this one" but Cammy wisely pointed out that "Admitting defeat is one thing, but no head hanging allowed! It's FUN to try new things, even those that don't work out for us. Or maybe it's *especially* those that don't work." I may never be a runner but I'm going to continue to work on making progress with the C25K. Manuela commented that she struggled with the program on the treadmill but once the nice weather hit she was able to rock it on the pavement. Who knows, maybe by the time spring hits I'll be rocking that C25K program.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

As expected, with the bustle of the holiday I've missed a few days at the gym so I haven't done much lifting this week but I'm looking forward to getting back in there and pumping some iron. I feel so tough saying things like that. ;)

Thank you so much for the support you have given me. I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

Rock on Hotties!

Hot 100 - Week 12

I can't believe there are only two weeks left of 2010. Are you going out with a bang or a thud? Are you on a high or a low? Are you giving yourself a free pass 'til the end of the year so you can have a fresh start on January 1st? As nice as that may sound, a free pass isn't really free, you have to pay eventually, so don't even bother trying to use it to coast through. It's not worth it. Enjoy the holidays, indulge a little but don't go lose sight of your goals.

Here's my Hot 100 Update for Week 12:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: --------
Week 8: -2.2 lbs.
Week 9: -4.0 lbs.
Week 10: -0.9 lbs.
Week 11: -0.2 lbs.
Week 12: -3.1 lbs.
Total Hot 100 Challenge Weight Loss to Date: 22.7 lbs.
(Total Weight Lost Since 11/2009: 70.5 pounds)

I guess it isn't too far fetched to think I could actually lose a total of 25 pounds for this challenge.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

Again, nothing new to report here ... I'm still struggling with the C25K. I may have to hang my head and admit defeat on this one. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a runner. I'm still going to keep trying to complete this program but I'm not going to sweat it if it doesn't happen.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I haven't lifted much this week but I'm feeling strong and actually look forward to hitting the weights. Who would have thought that would happen?

I hope you are all taking time to enjoy the spirit of the holiday season. It's not about the gifts, decorations and food, it's about the people and the time you get to spend with them. There's a certain magic in giving from the heart. Make a difference in someone else's life this holiday season. The kids won't believe it but it truly is much better to give than receive.

Have a Merry Happy Holiday!

Hot 100 - Week 11

Three more weeks to go! Can you believe there are only three weeks left in 2010! I've been in a bit of denial about Christmas approaching. I haven't done any shopping, I haven't hung a single solitary decoration or sent out a single card. I know I need to snap out of it, go shopping and get things mailed out but I'm just not motivated to do it. What do you do to get you into the holiday spirit when you feel like the Grinch?

No matter how you've done on the Hot 100 challenge thus far it's now crunch time, last chance workout, time to finish strong. Don't you dare throw your hands up and declare the holiday season a bust because you're still stuffed like the Thanksgiving Day bird. Don't wait until January 1st to reverse any damage or make more progress, start RIGHT NOW. It will be totally worth it. Trust me, you'll see.

Here's my stats for Week 11:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: --------
Week 8: -2.2 lbs.
Week 9: -4.0 lbs.
Week 10: -0.9 lbs.
Week 11: -0.2 lbs.
Total Hot 100 Challenge Weight Loss to Date: 19.6 lbs.
(Total Weight Lost Since 11/2009: 67.4 pounds)

I hit my challenge goal to lose 15 pounds in Week 9 and decided it would be a good idea to strive to lose a total of 25 pounds for this challenge. No matter where the number ends up I'm very happy to see the scale moving in the right direction on a consistent basis. A little less than 2 pounds a week for the next three weeks doesn't sound impossible but there will be once-a-year Christmas treats and a few less days of gym time so we'll just see how it all works out.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

Look away, the show is over, nothing new to report here ... I'm still struggling with the C25K.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I'm a little shocked to admit that I've actually been looking forward to lifting now that I've started to see a teeny tiny bit of definition in my arms. Who knew you could get results so quickly? Apparently, everyone but me ;)

I finally moved out of the dark ages and got a smart phone so I've been trying to catch up on my blog reading from there which means very little to no commenting (why can't those computer geeks figure out a way to make that easier?) but I'm still out here cheering you on.

I hope you're all enjoying the holiday season. Let's all finish out the year with a little momentum on our sides. Merry Merry!

Week Highlights and Hot 100 Update

My gym membership expired on Monday and they aren't going to offer the discounted membership rate until the day after Christmas so I'm going to check out some other gyms in the area and see if I can get a free weekly pass here and there to get me through the next few weeks.

I went to my first ZUMBA class on Tuesday. The city offers free classes at the local senior center so I had a bunch of seniors dancing circles around me. I don't know what got my heart rate up more, the class or laughing so hard at myself. It was a blast. I can't wait to join them again next week. I'm not very graceful but I was definitely got a good workout in.

I did a KILLER workout yesterday that included cardio and a serious weight circuit session. I almost fell when I got out of bed this morning because my calves are killing me *ouch*. I'm definitely feeling the burn and loving it!

Time for my Week 10 Hot 100 Update:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: --------
Week 8: -2.2 lbs.
Week 9: -4.0 lbs.
Week 10: -0.9 lbs.
Total Hot 100 Weight Loss to Date: 19.4 lbs.
(Total Weight Lost Since 11/2009: 67.2 pounds)

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

Nothing new to report here. I'm still struggling with the C25K.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I'm getting stronger every single day and excited to see a little definition popping out in my arms.

Only a few more weeks of the Hot 100 to go. How are you doing on your challenge goals? Are you making progress or struggling? Can I pat you on the back or kick you in the ass?

My reader is so out of control and overflowing. I've been doing my best to catch up but you guys keep writing and I keep falling further and further behind. I hope to catch up and get back to commenting regularly soon.

Here in the northeast it's been pretty cold outside but I hope you're keeping it HOT!

Rock on!

Hot 100 - Week 9 Thanksgiving Edition

Here in the states, Thanksgiving is the official start to the gluttonous holiday season. I was determined not to stuff myself into oblivion this year and I almost succeeded. My focus was on family, friends and football (GO PATS!); the food was somewhat of an afterthought. I actually skipped the big turkey dinner and all the fixin's but I made up for it by indulging in way too many sweet desserts. Over the course of the night I had very small portions of homemade birthday cake, apple pie, pecan pie, ice cream and a lemon square. I wasn't out of control but it was too much for me these days. It was all delicious but I felt pretty ill after eating it. I almost forgot how it feels to be that hyped up on sugar, not to mention the three cups of coffee I had along with it. Obviously, these weren't the best food choices but it was the holiday and I know I burnt off a huge portion of those calories at the gym so it's all good.

So, here's my update for Week 9 of the Hot 100:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: --------
Week 8: -2.2 lbs.
Week 9: -4.0 lbs.
Total Hot 100 Weight Loss to Date: 18.5 lbs.
(Total Weight Lost Since 11/2009: 66.3 pounds)

Well, well, look at that ... I already smashed this goal by losing FOUR POUNDS this week. I'm not changing my challenge goals but I'm going to try to lose a total of 25 pounds by New Year. Why not, right? I obviously didn't set the bar high enough.

I'll admit I was a little shocked when I got on the scale this morning because I missed the gym two days and was not feeling very good after all the crap I ate the night before. Over the past year there have only been a handful of weeks that I've lost up to four pounds and to be able to have a four pound loss on Thanksgiving week is a true blessing and I am very thankful.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

Still struggling with the C25K .... I'm not giving up but at some point I may have to admit my body isn't made for running. I'm still going to push to do this but it hasn't been easy for me.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I'm getting stronger and stronger and trying to motivate myself to spend more time lifting and less time doing cardio. I was worried that cutting down on the intense cardio and increasing my weight lifting time would stall my weight loss but, thankfully *knock wood*, that doesn't seem to be happening. I have a feeling I just may be doing something right. (Lori, I think of you every single time I increase my weights. I know you'd be proud.)

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving holiday and didn't put yourself into a food coma. Treat yourself to some healthy foods this weekend and get your body moving. You'll feel better, I promise.

I'm still far behind in my blog reading with over 800+ unread posts but I'm chipping away and catching up and hope to be back to regular commenting soon.

Hope you're keeping it HOT!

An Amazing Year

Happy Anniversary to ME!

Today marks the one year anniversary of my narrow escape from the corporate cement box and the nasty lawyers that tortured me for 10+ years. One short year ago I was a stressed out emotional wreck who could barely make it through the day without crying and stuffing my emotions down with massive amounts of food.

I feel so blessed to have had this year off to get my sanity, health, happiness and life back. I almost forgot what an optimistic person I am by nature. Why did I allow them to take that from me in exchange for a fat paycheck? Those bastard lawyers sucked all the happiness right out of me, stressed me out and dragged me down into a deep pit of despair. It was so dark down there in the pit I couldn't even remember what it was like to live in the light.

I know I have to go back to work soon but I'm making a promise to myself that I will never allow an employer to take away my happiness. No amount of money is worth that trade off.

Cut in Pay: <50%
Gym Membership: $99
Happiness: PRICELESS

Hot 100 - Week 8 Update

Where does the time go? It seems like we just started this challenge and we're already 8 weeks into it and less than a week away from Thanksgiving.

Here's my stats for Week 8:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: ???
Week 8: -2.2 lbs.
Total Hot 100 Weight Loss to Date: 14.5 lbs.

I'm pretty confident I'm going to smash this goal by the time the New Year rolls around. I'm planning some pretty intense workouts for the beginning of next week in anticipation of the feast on Thursday.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

Still struggling with the C25K but I'm making a bit of progress increasing my "runnning" time.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I'm disappointed that the personal training sessions are out of my budget right now but I'm doing my best to stay motivated and lift heavier weights more often. I'm starting to see more definition in my arms and love the feeling of getting stronger.

That's it for my Week 8 update. How did you do this week? I'm still way behind in my blog reading so I'm off to check out what's going on in your neck of the woods.

Keep it HOT!

Hot 100 - Week 7 Late Update

So sorry I'm late again with my Hot 100 update but we unplugged ourselves and escaped from the city Wednesday night. We spent the last four days in Vermont working hard on getting things ready for winter. I haven't been to the gym but believe me when I tell you I got a few really good workouts in.

I love being able to get away from the city lights and be able to see things like the Milky Way. It was absolutely spectacular. My head is so much clearer when I'm in the mountains, not sure whether it's the fresh air or the wide open spaces but I know it's good for me.


I can't believe we're already 7 weeks into the Hot 100 with the mother of all feasting holidays less than 2 weeks away. After getting through Halloween with barely any chocolate touching my lips I'm not too afraid of what will happen on turkey day. Even if I do go a little overboard I'm going to get some good workouts in between now and then to help make up for it. You know, like the Boy Scouts always say, "Be Prepared."

Anyway, here's my belated stats for Week 7 of the Hot 100:


Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: ???

I didn't get to weigh in on Friday because we were away so I'm not sure if I'm still rocking this losing streak. It was looking good when I last weighed in on Tuesday so I'm hoping to see a loss by next week's official weigh in. I don't think I did too much damage over the weekend although I did end up having cake for dinner last night. Yup, that's right, I had cake for dinner and it was delicious. Obviously, it isn't something I do everyday but once in a blue moon isn't going to put 60 pounds back on my ass. Everything in moderation has been working for me so I'm just going to keep going with it.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

I had a little knee pain on and off last week after my "run" so I backed off on the dreadmill this week. I still love the idea of being a runner but I'm not sure this 40-something year ol' body is up for the pounding. I don't want to get sidelined by an injury so I'm trying to listen to my body and know when its had enough. I have no problem completing a 5K but running the whole way may be another story.


Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I'm happy to report I had two great sessions in the weight room and really pushed myself so I was struggling to finish the last set. I know I pushed it because I was really sore the next day but it was a good sore that proves you worked hard.

I finally got a chance to talk to the personal trainer too and although I don't think his services fit in my budget right now I'm trying to see if I can just get an assessment and a training plan to get me motivated to work my muscles. He did think I'd see the benefits of cutting back on the cardio and increasing my time with weights and I know he's right but a part of me fears my weight loss will stall if I cut back on the cardio/elliptical sessions. I guess it will be fun to find out, right?

Hope you all had a great week and have a plan worked out for the upcoming feasting holidays. I'm so far behind in my blog reading. Sorry if I haven't commented much lately but I'm just trying to get through my backed up reader and catch up with everyone. I'm off to see how all of you have been doing. I hope you're keeping it HOT!

Motivation, Endorphins and My Hot 100 - Week 6 Update

I wish I could bottle up this motivation and momentum and pass it on to those of you that are struggling. I struggled for so long and never believed it would be this [dare I say] easy. "Easy" may not be the right word because I'm working extremely hard at the gym, harder than I've ever worked out before, but the urge and desire to constantly be stuffing my face with crappy food is gone. Hallelujah! Knock Wood! Amen!

I barely ate any Halloween candy and it is still EVERYWHERE I turn. I haven't even had the urge to snack after dinner lately. I don't really recognize this person. I like her, I really like her, but I don't know her. Will she stick around or desert me again? Why was it always so hard before? Is it just a matter of having the time to go to the gym? time to take care of myself? time to think? time to go food shopping? time to cook instead of eating out or ordering takeout?

I'm having some anxiety just thinking about going back to work, getting stressed out, depressed and using food to make me numb to it all. I don't ever want to go back to that dark depressing place where I felt hopeless. I feel like I'm finally getting my soul that those bastard lawyers sucked out of me back. I don't ever want to lose it again. It's worth too much to trade it for a healthy paycheck.

I've had 7 straight weeks of losses, not Biggest Loser-type numbers, but losses none the less. This endorphin high is amazing. It takes a while to get there but it is totally worth it. There's even science to back it up. I was reading this article about endorphins that said "exercise is a powerful drug. It seduces many with its zen-like state a feeling that was fondly coined the 'runner's high' in the 1970s. The lure of exercise is often so strong that it can turn enthusiasts into addicts."

It's one addiction I wouldn't mind having. At least I'd be a healthy addict. I'd rather have that kind of vice than drinking, smoking, popping pills, snorting powder, poisoning the body with junk food or any of the other destructive things we can do to ourselves.

Ok, let's get on to the business end of my post - my stats for Week 6 of the Hot 100:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.

I'm making steady progress and think I can lose even more than the 15 pound goal I set. I was going to set the goal for this challenge at 20 pounds but figured I would be conservative considering all the feasting holidays. *give me strength* Hopefully I can get through the next couple of months without backsliding. *fingers crossed* In 6 weeks I've lost 12.3(!) pounds so it's totally possible to reach and perhaps surpass my goal. We shall see.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

I RAN TODAY! Can you believe it? I mean, I really RAN. Well, maybe not what runners consider running but it was running to me. It was more than my usual slow jog, I was pushing it just to stay on the dreadmill. I still don't love it but it's getting a little easier.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

The trainer I've been wanting to talk to has been on vacation so that will have to wait another week. I did have two good weight sessions this week though. Today I pushed up my weight and really worked my arms hard. They are sore but it's a good sore. I'm not sure if it's just my imagination but I think I see a little bit of definition in my arms. Wow ... muscles and bones? Not only do I have visible collar bones again if I turn my shoulder at the right angle, I can almost feel my hip bones under the layers of fat. Oh, how I've missed them, I can't wait 'til they really come out of hiding.

I'm hoping to keep this momentum going. I haven't felt this good in ages. Thanks for sticking with me through years of struggle and despair and being here to cheer me on now. Your support means the world to me and I am grateful to each and every one of you for helping me get to where I am today.

I've been spending more and more time unplugged and have 500+ unread posts in my reader to get through so I'm going to see what's been going on with you.

Keep it HOT!

Hot 100 - Week 5 Late Update

These weeks are flying by. I can't believe I didn't have time to post my Hot 100 update on Friday. I met a friend in Boston for lunch and by the time I got home I had to pack for the weekend.

Well, better late than never, right? Here's how I did last week:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.

I can't believe I've had 5 weeks of losses. I'm a little afraid to get on the scale tomorrow after indulging on cheese, crackers and all sorts of crap at a Halloween party Saturday night. At least I didn't give in to all the Halloween candy that kept calling me. I only had a handful of B's M&Ms tonight which has to be the least amount of candy I've consumed on Halloween EVER. I'm planning on an extra long, intense gym session tomorrow hoping to combat any weekend weight gain. Who wants to join me?

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

Still struggling to get past week one.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I never got a chance to meet with the trainer last week. This week for sure.

Remember, those FUN SIZE candies aren't so much fun when they settle on your ass.

I hope you're all keeping it HOT! Have a great week!

Hot 100 - Week 4

Hey Hotties - Can you believe it's Week 4 already? Where does the time go?

Here's my Hot 100 update:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.

Holy Smokes! FOUR POUNDS! I wish I could see those kind of numbers every week. As you saw in my last post, I feel like I've hit the sweet spot so I'm going to do my best to stay in it.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

I made a bit of progress with the C25K by just getting on the dreadmill but still haven't pushed myself past week one.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I hit the weights twice this week and will be scheduling an appointment with a personal trainer next week. I'm not sure I can afford to splurge on personal training sessions but maybe one or two would give me a little push to do more in the weight room.

I got another confidence boost yesterday when the owner of the gym complimented me. She stopped me in the hall and told me that she was impressed with my dedication and wanted to know how much weight I've lost so far. She said that it's been her experience that if you exercise consistently for at least six months you have a good chance of doing it for the rest of your life. I hope she's right. I don't want to lose this feeling ever again.

I hope you all had a great week. I haven't made it to as many of the Hot 100 blogs as I wanted to but I'm working my way down the list.

Have a great weekend and remember to keep it HOT!

Sweet Spot

I don't want to jinx myself or scare my mojo away but I have to tell you I've been feeling like I've hit the healthy lifestyle sweet spot. I'm in such a groove lately I wish I could bottle it up and store it away for when I really need it.

I haven't been getting too hung up on the numbers on the scale since they've been going in the right direction, I'm not stuffing my face with sugar and crap, I'm working out regularly and I'm feeling things I haven't felt in years (hello collarbones!).

I had an amazing workout today. In addition to making the elliptical machine my bitch for 70 minutes I also jogged a mile on the dreadmill. I was a sweaty mess and it felt great. I was already high on endorphins when a complete stranger stopped me in the hall and said "I just have to ask, how do you stay on the elliptical for so long. It's impressive. I can barely stay on for 10 minutes. " I told him I could barely stay on it for 10 minutes less than a year ago but I've worked up my stamina, increased intensity, and just get into a zone now. The first 10-15 minutes are the hardest but once I get going it seems to get easier and easier. Of course, not lugging an extra 50+ pounds of fat around helps too.

Let me know if you have any ideas on how to bottle this stuff up. We could get thin and rich.

Hot 100 - Week 3

The weather is getting colder and colder here in the northeast but my drive to lose weight is getting hotter and hotter. I almost feel "normal" in my skin even though I'm barely out of the obese category on the BMI charts.

It's been a challenge to stay on track this week because my sMother is visiting so there have been lots of restaurant meals and not enough time to get to the gym but I've been able to keep things under control. Although I didn't make any real progress on two of my Hot 100 goals, I lost an additional 2.4 pounds and broke into the 180s.


Here's my Hot 100 stats:


Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.

Bye-bye 190s! I was so happy to see you and get into Onederland but I'm even happier to see you go.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

I haven't made a bit of progress with the C25K program this week since my time at the gym has been limited. I'm determined to get working on this next week when things get back to normal.

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

I did a little better with the weight training than I did with the C25K. Even though I didn't get into the weight room at the gym I've been using some hand weights at home. I'm going to talk to the personal trainer at the gym next week to see how much it would be for a few sessions in the weight room. I know what to do but I'm thinking if I have someone there to keep me accountable and give me a little push the more likely I'll actually do it.

I've been having fun getting to meet more of my fellow Hot 100 challengers but I haven't made it to everyone yet.

Keep it HOT!

Hot 100 - Week 2

Hello Hotties!

This is just going to be a short and sweet update for Week 2 of the Hot 100:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.


Every little tenth of a pound gets me that much closer to goal. Slow and steady seems to be working for me and I'm determined to keep it that way no matter how tempting it is to go to the extreme and lose it quickly. Been there, done that, gained it all back plus more. Although I didn't even lose a whole pound this week, by losing 0.9 pounds I hit the 50 pounds lost mark exactly. It's taken a really long time (a lifetime) to get to this point and I'm now HALFWAY to my ultimate goal.

Goal #2 - Couch to 5K
Goal #3 - Build More Muscles

Unfortunately, I've been slacking and haven't made any progress with the C25K or my weight training this week but I'm not giving up on it. I'm thinking of cutting back on my elliptical time and just concentrating on the dreadmill and the weight room. We'll see how it goes next week.

Gotta run. It's a long holiday weekend and I gotta get packing for my escape. I hope you all have a great weekend. Rock on!

Dance Party Winners

If you were able to attend my Onederland dance, left a comment and live in the continental United States, YOU won a prize.

If I had a billion dollars I would love to say "you get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car" just like Oprah did but, unfortunately, I haven't hit the lottery YET so you'll have to settle for a small token of my appreciation. You guys are the BEST support system and I'm blessed to have you in my life.

I want to apologize to my friends that live outside the states and are not eligible to win but this unemployed girl can't afford the hefty price of postage to send you anything but my gratitude. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

So, to all my fellow dancin' partners, send me your address at "mb photography vt [at] gmail [dot] com (you know, without the spaces and with a "@" and a ".") and I will send you a onederland party door prize.

WOW! My feet are killing me from all that dancin'. Thank you all for sticking with me over the years of struggling and being there to celebrate my crossover into Onederland. I had a blast.

The next party I have will be when I reach my goal sometime in 2011. I can't wait.

Hot 100 - Week 1

Hello Hotties!

Have you joined South Beach Steve's Hot 100 challenge yet? It's not too late, you can be a hottie too. Steve has extended the deadline to join until the end of the day today so head over there and state your goals for the remaining days of 2010 and let's finish out the year on a strong note. I'm hoping the challenge will help me stay focused through the upcoming holiday trifecta of temptation.

So, here's how I did for Week 1:

1. Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.


I'll be in good shape if I can see these numbers every week. At least I'm off to a good start.

2. Couch to 5K

It may not seem like much to you runners out there but I'm excited I can even RUN for a full minute. I wish I didn't get so bored on the dreadmill but I'm determined to get through this program and be able to complete a 5K.

3. Build More Muscles

I must confess I've been slacking on the weight training. I didn't make it into the weight room at all this week but I'm going to force myself to go in there at least 3 days next week.

I think I'm off to a decent start. Next week may be a bit more of a challenge because my Smother is coming to visit. Oy...I'm stressed out just thinking about it. Her last visit was over a year and a half ago and it didn't end well. There's always so much drama stirred up when she visits but I'm going to try to not feed into any of it or feed myself to avoid dealing with the drama. It's going to be tough but I'll get through it.

I'm so happy to have met a few new bloggers through the Hot 100 and plan on making my way over to visit each and every one of my competition's site. It may take a while but I'll be visiting you and cheering you on to your goals.

It really has been one crazy week. There's construction going on in my house, walls being ripped out, old plaster and dust flying around, the electricity has been shut off for hours at a time, a window blew right out of the house and smashed on one of the construction worker's brand new truck due to the strong winds yesterday, I locked myself out of the house and had to break back in ... oh, the list goes on and on. If I was still working and stressed out I'd be ready for the funny farm by now.

I'm so ready for a relaxing uneventful weekend. I'm planning on taking lots of foliage pictures, hitting the apple orchard to stock up on some Honeycrisps, sitting around the bonfire and relaxing. That's all I have planned and I can't wait.

My Onederland dance is still going on but because of all the craziness this week I'm going to wait until next week to announce the door prize winners so if you haven't entered to win yet get over there and do it.

Have a great weekend Hotties. Keep on dancin'!