Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Rage Against Regain!

I'm so frustrated.  I can't seem to figure out how to make things work.  You may remember when I reached my goal of losing 101 pounds back in September on my first day back to the grind and how worried I was about finding a way to maintain my hard-earned loss.  Apparently I had good reason for my fears and they were not unfounded.

Since reaching my goal last September I've been steadily gaining bit by bit and struggling to find a way to fit in my workouts after a long stressful day at the office. I struggle every day to stay away from all the free food they push around every single day. Last week alone they had a big breakfast one day and ice cream sundaes another day.  I don't understand why they feel the need to reward employees with fattening crappy food. 

I know it's possible to find a way to fit it all in.  I know it can be done. I see many of you not only work full time jobs and take care of your families but also put in the hours you need to stay fit.  I just can't seem to find my way.

I miss my two hour workouts and my daily walks.  I miss having the time to go to the market every day and cook healthy meals every night.  I miss it! 

I knew it was going to be difficult to find the time to workout but I didn't think I would regain so much so quickly.  It's depressing to think how much sweat and effort it took to lose and how easy it finds its way back.

I walk over 3 miles every single weekday back and forth to the train station.  I make every effort to get to my cardio kickboxing class twice a week during my lunch hour but that doesn't always happen because there is always some "emergency" that pops up just as I'm getting ready to leave for class and then I get extremely upset that I can't go which makes me even more stressed out.

Something has got to give.  I have to find a way to make it work or hit the lottery so I can be a lady of leisure who can spend as long as I want hanging out at the gym and taking care of myself. 

I'm not giving up on this fight but it is HARD and I need to find the time to make it work because I don't want to go back to where I was.  I'm not where I was but I'm not where I want to be either. 

I'm sure you've all heard the saying "it's better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all," right? I was wondering if it is the same sort of thing with weight loss. Is it better to have lost and regained than to never have lost at all?  I'm not sure.

The battle continues....