40 Tips for a Better Life in 2010

I'm not waiting until January 1st to make big changes in my life. I've learned it's better to make daily/weekly/monthly goals instead of yearly resolutions. It seems too easy to break those big yearly resolutions and once they're broken I would just wait until the next year to break them again. Not anymore.

My life has changed so much in just the last month. I'm overjoyed to no longer be working in a high stress job, I'm relieved I'll be able to collect unemployment while I figure out how to make a living without having to look at another lawyer, I joined the gym and have time to go, I got LASIK eye surgery and don't need to wear glasses/contacts anymore, and I'm having some major dental work completed. I'm getting excited just thinking about what 2010 will bring. Where will I be this time next year? Where will you be?

Tips for a Better Life:

1. Take a 10-30 minute (or more) walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to _____ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did last year.

7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants. Eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince & dinner like a college kid w/a maxed out charge card. (I believe the saying is "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a price and dinner like a pauper." Junk food is too cheap that it's all a college kid w/a maxed out charge card eats.)

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!)

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. Love Yourself.

May your troubles be less,
May your blessings be more,
May nothing but happiness come through your door!

My Blue Eyes

When I got my first pair of glasses in the fifth grade I remember being so excited to see individual leaves on the trees and not just one big mass of green, recognizing the person who drove by and beeped, seeing what the teachers were writing on the blackboard and marveling at every detail of every little thing. I think that was when I first got into macro photography. Everything was so clear it was like I was seeing for the very first time.

I had a love/hate relationship with my glasses. I loved being able to, you know, see but I hated having to deal with finding the right frames, being able to afford the frames I wanted, learning how to play sports without them slipping off and sliding down my nose, dealing with the rain, snow, and fog and fumbling to find them in the middle of the night.

I'm happy to tell you I can see clearly now thanks to the medical miracle of LASIK vision correction surgery. It's truly amazing that I don't need my glasses or contacts after needing them all of my life.

I didn't want to mention it here before I had it because I didn't want to hear all the horror stories of the rare LASIK cases gone wrong. There are always risks with any surgery but after talking to everyone who ever had it and researching the best doctors around for over a decade, I decided to take the risk and just do it. I was extremely nervous after reading all about the rare cases of people who lost their peripheral vision, suffered complications or infection, corneal swelling or thinning, appearance of "floaters" and retinal detachment, hemorrhage, blockage in the veins and arteries of the eye, cataract formation, or the worst possible result, loss of an eye or total blindness. I didn't even tell my mother about it until it was over because she is a worry wort with insomnia and I didn't want her to lose any sleep over it.

The surgery itself was painless and took less than 15 minutes. The waiting was the worst part but once they gave me a Valium I was a bit more relaxed. I elected to have Intralase LASIK/Monovision Myopia (one eye for distance and one eye for reading) which would substantially reduce my need for reading glasses as I get older. After I got my Valium and had numbing drops put in my eyes I was brought into the surgery room and took off my glasses for the last time.

The doctor had me lie down, made sure my eye was positioned directly under the laser and placed a retainer over my eye to keep my eyelids open. This retainer had a suction ring that kept my eye pressurized so the surgeon could cut a corneal flap. It was a little uncomfortable but not painful. The corneal flap was then created with a laser. The doctor used a big sophisticated computer to adjust the laser for my particular eye prescriptions. I had to look at a red dot light for a short time while the doctor watched through a microscope while the laser sent pulses of light to my cornea.

The laser light pulses then painlessly reshaped my corneas. The laser made a steady clicking sound while it was doing its magic and there was a mild burning odor when the tissue was being removed which was weird because they were actually burning my eyes. Ewwww.

I was so afraid I was going to sneeze or move while they were doing this precise work. I think I held my breath almost the whole time. The doctor held my head steady while the machine did its thing. I had to look directly at these bright lights on the machine which felt like I was looking into three suns. My eyes were watering like crazy in addition to the stuff they were squirting in my eyes to keep them flushed out. As the doctor was telling me to look at the light everything went totally white and I couldn't see anything which was a little scary but then it was over in the blink of an eye and I could see.

They sat me up and took me out to a waiting room where they taped these clear round disks over each eye. After sitting with my eyes closed for about a half hour they quickly looked at my eyes through a machine and sent me on my way with various eye drops and an appointment to go back the next day for a follow up.

I had to keep my eyes shut for the first four hours after surgery and then start putting in eye drops every hour and antibiotic drops every four hours. I looked like Jeff Goldbloom in The Fly with the bubble disks over my eyes all night. I had a hard time getting the glue from the tape they used off my face the next morning but I had absolutely no pain and crystal clear vision.

I have some red blotches on the whites of my eyes which was caused by broken blood vessels from the suction but that will go away in about a week or two. My eyes have always been very sensitive to light and they are and will be even more sensitive to bright light for about a month. I have to continue putting eye drops in for five days and have to wear these funny looking goggles to sleep so I don't rub or scratch my eyes.

The surgery was not cheap and my insurance wouldn't pay a penny for it because they consider it cosmetic. I know a few people who traveled to Canada and had it done for a 1/3 of the price but I didn't want to bargain shop with my sight at risk.

It's so exciting to be able to wake up and see everything so clearly without having to fumbling around looking for my glasses. I can't wait to go skiing, snowboarding and snowmobiling and not have to bring my contacts or worry about my glasses fogging up.

I now have 20/20 vision! I'm kicking myself for not doing it ten years ago but hindsight is 20/20, right?

Green Monster Recipes ...

After raving about my first delicious Green Monster smoothie I thought I would put up some links to some of the different varieties out there.

I think Angela at Oh She Glows started it all with the Green Monster Movement. You can find Oh She Glow's reader recipes here. Angela is such an inspiration. She left her stressful, high paying corporate job to follow her passion and start her own baking company, Glo Bakery. Check out her Glo Bars. MMMMmmm...they look even better than Green Monsters, huh?


Annie, The Amazing Shrinking Girl, started drinking Green Monsters back in August. Her recipe here sounds like one I'm definitely going to have to try.

Angie at Angie All the Way regularly drinks Green Monsters too. Some of her Green Monster recipes are on these posts.

I know there are many more of you out there on the Green Monster bandwagon but I don't have the patience to search for anymore links. I love the limitless possibilities of the things you can throw into these healthy drinks. If you have a favorite Green Monster recipe let me know in the comments. Thanks!

Green Monster

I'm not talking about the big green outfield wall at Fenway Park, that is known as the Green Monstah here in Boston. I'm talking about the Green Monster Smoothie that everyone around the blogsphere has been raving about. I made my very first Green Monster smoothie today and it was delicious.

After I got home from the gym today I decided to use up the spinach I had in the fridge and blend it together with some frozen berries and water. I intended on using a frozen banana but I didn't peel the stupid things before I put them in the freezer so I had to throw them away. What was I thinking? How did I think I was going to peel them after they froze solid like a rock? Silly me. I didn't have any soy milk, yogurt or protein powder but I'm going to stock up on that stuff and see how it compares.

My first Green Monster smoothie was filling and very tasty. I didn't even need to use ice because I had the frozen berries in there. It looked more like a Red Monster than a Green Monster from all the berries I put in. MMMmmmmm.... I love spinach but couldn't even taste a hint of it in my smoothie.

There are tons of recipes for different variations of the Green Monster that I'm excited to try out. I'm probably going to get a few bags of different frozen fruits and see what I can come up with. I'm thinking mango and cherry or blueberry and cantaloupe.

Have you joined the Green Monster movement? Do you have a favorite Green Monster recipe? I'd love to hear about what you put in your Green Monster. Tell me all about your Green Monsters.

Judgment Free Zone

I got a month's head start on all those people who make the new year resolution to get in shape. I received a coupon for a 1 year membership for $99 to my local health club so I decided to splurge even though I don't have a paycheck anymore. You can't beat that price.

My bf and a few other friends have deluxe memberships to this gym where they can bring a guest for free so I usually just go with one of them but since I now have more time on my hands and can go anytime during the day I decided to suck it up and pay for my own membership so I don't have to be dependant on anyone else.

Yesterday was my first day at the gym and I felt so good getting all sweaty. I have a dreadmill and elliptical machine at home but it just isn't the same. I get a better workout at the gym just looking at everyone else pushing it and working hard. I only worked out for an hour but I got a good sweat on even though I didn't push it too hard the first day.

I'm going to be hitting the gym like it's my job now so hopefully there will be some significant weight loss to report here in the coming months. Stay tuned.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY B!

Today is the anniversary of the day the love of my life came into this world.

I am a very lucky girl to have this wonderful man in my life for the past 26+ years. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my days with him.

Of course we did celebrate with a little homemade cake made by our good friend because it isn't a birthday without cake, right?

I Love You Babe!

Be Thankful

I am thankful for so many things.

If we can afford access to the internet I suspect all of us have our basic needs met. We have an abundance of food to eat, we have clean water to drink, we have clothes (in my case, in multiple sizes), we have a roof over our heads, we have people who care about us, family to support us and so many more luxuries than most people in the world. We are so damn lucky even if our day to day life is one irritation after another.

Many of us have lost loved ones this year but we should remember how lucky we are to have had them in our lives. They will always be in our hearts and happy memories even if they are unable to sit across the table from us today. We need to remember to stop and think about how much we truly have to be thankful for.

I am thankful for you, and you, and especially YOU!

I wish you all in the states here a very Happy Thanksgiving. To everyone else, Happy Thursday! Be thankful you aren't a turkey today.

What are you thankful for?

Thematic Photographic 76 - Orange

This is my entry for this week's Thematic Photographic theme which is Orange. I like how the butterfly has a piece of its wing missing. It's beautiful but not perfect.

If you want to join in the Thematic Photographic fun head over to Written Inc. and get all the details.

A Whole New World ...

I feel like I instantly lost 100+ pounds off my shoulders when I walked out of the office for the very last time Friday afternoon. You can't even imagine the relief I felt knowing I will NEVER have to go there or see most of those people again.

When I sent out an e-mail with my new contact information I got a ton of e-mails congratulating me for finally getting out of there. There were so many from former co-workers who had been mistreated and one that really hit home for me. I received this message from a woman who had to sue the firm for disability benefits because she was unable to work and they didn't want to pay her benefits. She wrote:

"Once you have a chance to breathe, I think you'll be happy that you ended the torment. You deserve so much better. I believe things happen for a reason - a higher power steps in - says MB you have suffered enough - time to move on to a new position where you are appreciated."

I am so thankful to the higher power that FINALLY realized I've suffered long enough.

Free at last ....

It's 5:01

I'm out of there.

I'm free at last, free at last, thank G-D almighty I'm free at last!!!!

I'm done being abused.

I can't wait to see what comes next.


It's time to PARTY!

I truly appreciate all the love and support I've received from your comments. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. THANK YOU ALL!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!

WOOOHOOOOOO!!!!

Finally ... it's FRIDAY!

This is it!

This is what I'm going to look like at 5:01 today.

Can you say "Awkward?"

WOW...today was unbelievably AWKWARD. I'm sure tomorrow will be even worse but once I get through those 8 hours I'll be FREEEEEE.

My boss, NOT the DICK but the other one, the one that doesn't want me to leave, the one who fought to keep me, the only person I'll really miss and the only reason why I've stayed at that miserable place for so long, asked me to go out to lunch with him and the new legal assistant, my replacement. I didn't know what to say. I thought to myself "this is a joke, right? really? lunch? with you and my replacement?, I don't think so."

I initially politely declined and told him I had plans and couldn't make it. I didn't have any big lunch plans (that's tomorrow) but was just going to run a few errands around town. I would have loved to go to lunch with just him but didn't think I could handle lunch with him and my replacement. How much can a person be expected to swallow? I'm choking here. I gave him some grief about waiting until my second to last day to offer to take me out to lunch after all these years. We've never gone out to lunch together. We've gone to the bar for cocktails many times throughout the years and partied like rock stars back in the day but never lunch. Just last week he asked me to cut out of work early with him to have a few drinks. We polished off lots of vodka and talked about how much we'll miss working with each other. He thanked me for my hard work, devotion, loyalty and friendship and apologized for not being able to do anything about the whole ugly mess.

After I thought about it for a while I decided to suck it up and go to lunch anyway. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Yes, apparently I am a glutton for punishment. I don't know why I torture myself and agree to things like this but lunch actually ended up being the best part of the day. The new girl is sweet and nice and we spent lunch talking about my boss' new baby, sports, our weekend plans and getting to know the new kid. I'm glad we stayed away from talking about the firm and the weird position we're all in. Of course, I know I have the worst of the situation but can see how uncomfortable it is for them too.

I actually kinda feel sorry for this new girl. She's very young and doesn't have a clue what she's gotten herself into. She doesn't have much experience and these busy litigators are going to eat her up.

The good thing for her is Dick is really trying to make a good impression on her or maybe he just wants to get under my skin by being super nice to her. Dick's already had more non-work related conversations with her in 2 days than he's had with me over the past year I've worked directly for him and the past 10 years before that. I'm sure if you asked him he wouldn't be able to tell you if I'm married or not or even what B's name is.

I just don't get it. I honestly don't know what his problem is. Maybe it's the rebound effect. He was forced to give up his assistant last year and we got stuck working with each other and no matter how good I am he wasn't going to be happy about it. I wasn't happy about it but I made the effort and did my job and he was just downright mean. Maybe I was just the rebound person and we all know that never works out.

I spent the afternoon training the new girl and was doing an excellent job of keeping it together until the new kid asked me if I was excited about leaving. I really didn't know how to answer her and started to tear up and had to walk away to compose myself. I need to toughen up and learn how to hold back the water works. WTF? I don't know why I couldn't have just smiled and said "YES!" She apologized for asking and I apologized for making her uncomfortable. None of this is her fault and I don't think it's fair to start her off on the wrong foot or make her feel bad for walking into this mess.

Tomorrow should be even more fun. Thankfully, I only have to suffer through another 8 hours in that place and after that I will be free from all the misery and stress that has been building inside me over the past decade.

I hope I have enough strength left to make it through the day tomorrow without having a breakdown. I have to keep my eye on the big picture and how happy I am to get out of there. I'm finally breaking out of the concrete box I've been imprisoned in for so long. I'm getting paroled. I can't wait to see what life is like on the outside.

Wish me luck.

True Friends

It's times like these when you find out who your true friends are.

I only have two more days to get through. I feel like I'm getting released from prison where I've served an 11+ year sentence. What will life be like on the outside? I'm excited to find out.

I hadn't talked to many people in the office about my departure because I can't seem to do it without getting all teary eyed. I'm not sad about leaving but I can't help but be hurt/offended/disgusted by how it all went down.

My replacement started yesterday so most people now know I am leaving and have been telling me how shocked they are by what happened. I'm not surprised by anything these people do anymore. I have seen too much over the past decade to really be surprised by their underhanded sleazy tactics.

It's funny how people I've never really been friendly with all of a sudden want to take me to lunch or out for drinks now that I'm leaving. These phony people have never invited me to lunch before but now act like they are my best friends. I politely declined their offers. Why would I want to spend my last days with these fake friends when I can spend it with the people I will truly miss?

I'm starting to get over the hurt and I'm looking forward to whatever comes next. I can't wait to have some time to take care of myself and figure out how to collect a paycheck without having to look at a lawyer. I honestly believe getting away from the stress of that horrible place will do wonders for my mind and body. I haven't been doing anything different with my diet or exercise routine but I lost 3 pounds this past week without even trying. Maybe the key to successful weight loss for me is getting rid of the monkeys (lawyers) on my back.

Training Day

My replacement starts today and I get to train her. That should be fun, huh?

I'm trying to figure out what to tell her when she asks me why I'm leaving. You know she's going to ask. How can I tell her when I don't really know myself. I feel sorry for her because she has no idea what she's getting herself into.

Three more days ....

Give me strength.

The Final Countdown ...

FIVE days! That's all I have to get through. Just FIVE days. It seems like an eternity.

I can't believe I only have FIVE more days before I break out of the shackles that have bound me to my cubicle cage for the past 11+ years. After Friday, I won't have to see these abusive lawyers ever again! This is the last Sunday night I will feel sick just thinking about going there. Tomorrow will be the last Monday I'll have to drag myself to the office only to wish the week away, counting the days 'til Friday.

It is going to be a very long hellish week. They've been loading me down with piles of work trying to get as much out of me as they can before they have to deal with a new person. They're going to have to draft their own documents and won't be able to bill $450 an hour for the work I did that they only glance at and sign their name. They want me to bust my a$$ working on things that aren't even due for months. I have trial prep work, billing, massive amounts of discovery (interrogatories, requests for production, requests for admissions), complaints and subpoenas to serve, not to mention the piles and piles of filing, and that's only the stuff I know about. I'm getting stressed just thinking about it.

I wish I could just go in late, take long martini lunches and read blogs all day instead of working like a dog to make their lives easier by getting everything done. What do I care? What are they going to do? Fire me?

Is it Friday yet? I can't wait to do the happy Snoopy dance when I walk out those doors for the last time. Only FIVE more days ...

Work Sucks. Life Doesn't Have To.

I just finished reading Happy Hour is For Amateurs by The Philadelphia Lawyer. I have to tell you how much I LOVED THIS BOOK!

I was nervous when I saw the blurb from Tucker Max on the cover because Tucker Max is a vile, disgusting a$$hole and he's proud of it. I'm not easily offended, hell, most of my close friends are guys who can be really gross, I'm a little embarrassed to even admit I read "I Hope They Serve ...." Don't be scared though, The Philadelphia Lawyer isn't another Tucker Max.

"Happy Hour is for Amateurs" is a brutally honest account of what it feels like to be trapped in a job you hate, selling your soul and toiling away in the dirty vineyards of the law just for the big paycheck. If you've never slaved away years in a concrete box of a big city law firm I'm not sure you will truly appreciate this book.

"Happy Hour" explains why the majority of people working in the legal profession use sex, drugs and rock and roll (and lots of alcohol) to help numb the pain of having to go to the office every single day.

It was the perfect book for me to read in my final days of an 11+ year stint working for miserable SOB litigators. The Philadelphia Lawyer reinforced the fact that I'm lucky to be getting out. I don't have a book deal or any job prospects but I'm praying I'll never have to go back to the soul sucking practice ever again. I'm going to have to keep this book on my shelf to read again in case I ever think of working for lawyers again.

I've only got 1 week and 1 day to go but it feels like an eternity. I hope I can hold out and resist the strong urge I have to stab my pen in Dick's eye. I'd would want to kick him in the balls too if he had any.

Big News

You know how much I hate my job, right? Well, it looks like I'm going to be free from the chains that have held me in this particular concrete box for the past 11+ years.

I got a call from a friend asking me about the litigation position open at my firm because a friend of hers had interviewed with my office manager. As far as I knew, there was no litigation position available which made me think they were interviewing for my position (AGAIN). These people are such sneaky b*stards.

I've had a great relationship with one of the partners I work for so I asked him if there was anything going on and he denied it. I knew he was lying so the next day I told him I heard the office manager had been interviewing for a litigation position and wanted to know if it was for my seat. After a little prodding he admitted that the a$$hole ("Dick") they forced me to work for last year has been on a campaign for the past 6 months to have me replaced because "it wasn't working out." Dick didn't have any complaints about my work, my work was excellent, but he just said he wanted me replaced.

I guess it explains why Dick has been even more of an a$$hole to me over the past 6 months. I'm sure he was intentionally being a miserable pr!ck to me to try to make me to quit. The partner I love working for and the office manager have been fighting with Dick for the past 6 months and telling him it was stupid to lose a good worker and he would just have to deal with it and make it work.

I am in limbo right now and don't know when I will be getting cut loose. I'm sure they will give me as little notice as possible but whatever .... I guess it is better than being blindsided like other people who had been here for over a decade who came in one day to find out it was their last. I'm sure they would have done the same thing to me if I hadn't found out about it. Of course, Dick knows I found out about his campaign but hasn't said two words to me about it. He is a Dick with no balls.

In my entire career I've never left a job without getting a farewell party, cards, gifts, celebratory cocktails, etc. One of the lawyers I worked for even wrote me a song and sang it to me on my last day. It doesn't matter how loyal or how hard of a worker you are, this firm will cut you loose without a second thought. They really are a bunch of heartless b*stards.

Once I get over being sad, disgusted, insulted and disappointed I will be able to celebrate the fact that I'm finally getting out of this hell hole I've been trapped in for over a decade. Of course, the timing s*cks but I'll survive. In the meantime I'm just waiting to find out when I will get that pretty pink slip.

Happy Birthday to the Queen!

Happy Birthday to the Snarkiest Queen of the PRB (People’s Republic of Blogistan). I hope it rained cupcakes in Florida today.

Head over to here to wish Queen Hilly a very happy 29th(?) BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday Cupcake Kisses ...

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

If you see the handle of the sharp knife sticking out of my back please pull it out slowly as it's done enough damage on the way in. I didn't expect to be screwed by the one person I thought was on my side. I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that someone I've respected and trusted over the past eleven years looked me in the eyes and lied to me. He hugged me and reassured me as he stealthily plunged the knife deep into my back. Even after I caught him in his lie and confronted him about it he continued to spin his lie, backpedal and try to throw the blame on others.

I thought we were friends. I thought he had my back and could be honest with each other but it turns out I was very wrong. I guess it's a life lesson I needed to learn. When times get tough you get to see people's true colors and learn who your true friends are. He is not the kind of friend I want to have.

In my head I understand why he did what he did. He was only covering his a$$ but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to swallow. I always thought he was better than that and believed he was different from the rest of them but I was wrong.

It's going to be hard to get through the next few weeks knowing what I know but I'll get through it somehow. I'm trying to convince myself that everything happens for a reason and I'll end up in a better place. Only time will tell.

Thematic Photographic 73 - Leaves

I always try to take a few days off around peak foliage season so I can do some leaf peeping and get some good photos. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate this year so I wasn't able to get the shots I wanted without the fog and rain getting in the way.

I love watching the colors change and the leaves fall because it means the snow isn't far behind.

If you would like to join in the Thematic Photographic fun, head over to Written Inc., check it out and share your "Leaves."