Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Love and Fat

Do you think being in love makes you fat? Do we let ourselves get too comfortable in our relationships and give up taking care of ourselves? Do we only worry about our appearance when we are looking for love and give up once we find it. I wonder whether I would have gained so much weight if I had been single the past 25 years.

I know so many women who go on extreme diets, starve themselves and work out like maniacs to fit into their wedding dress and then they can't even squeeze into it when they get back from their honeymoon. They all look at their wedding pictures and wish they could get back to that unrealistic weight again.

Last week while B was away I ate healthy and didn't miss a single work out. The other thing I noticed was I didn't drink any Diet Coke even though I had plenty in stock. It makes me wonder why I'll sneak food when B is home but when I am by myself and can eat anything I want without having to hide it I don't. makes me think of a recent study about friends making you fat (sorry I'm too lazy to look up the link). It basically suggests that when you are around people who eat fast, you tend to eat fast. When we are surrounded by people who lead a sedentary life, we tend to do the same. If your friends and family are fat you are more likely to follow in their footsteps.

When B is drinking Diet Coke, I want to drink it too. When all my friends are partying and enjoying massive quantities of food and drink I want to be part of the party too. When there is a celebration I want to eat cake with everyone else.

Is it possible to make lasting changes if the people you surround yourself with don't make those changes too?

Saturday, May 17, 2008

A Half-Assed Review

Even though Jennette Fulda a/k/a Pasta Queen was rushing off to New York for her appearance on the Today Show she managed to find the time to personally autograph and ship my order of her weight-loss memoir (thanks PQ). I immediately put down the book I had been reading and devoured her memoir in a couple of days (good thing it had zero fat and zero calories).

We all know what an incredible writer she is from her blog and her book does not disappoint. She didn't cut and paste blog entries and call it a book. Jennette's story is not the typical fat girl gets thin book. Her family never pressured her to lose weight and she didn't feel much abuse by society for being obese. She doesn't preach about what diet she used although she did start out with the basic principles of the South Beach Diet after she saw her brother lose weight using that method. You will not find any meal plans or grueling work out schedules here. She ate more healthy foods (vegetables, fruits and proteins) and less white stuff (white bread, sugar, and processed foods) and spent lots of time on her treadmill. She knows that what worked for her won't necessarily be what works for you or me.

Jennette didn't spend a lifetime buying in to all the crazy fad diets, she didn't play the yo-yo game so she hadn't really screwed with her metabolism as much as the constant dieters out there. Her diet was not something she was going to go off when she hit some magic number. She knew she had to find a way of eating she could live with for the rest of her life, she didn't want to try some crazy tapeworm diet and feel stupid. She would rather stay fat than lose weight and regain it all on some fad diet and be fat and stupid.

Jennette had set backs and moments where she slipped up and had one too many pieces of (stolen) cake or too much chocolate but she didn't use it as an excuse to give up and let those moments throw her into a state of despair and hopelessness. She just got back to her routine and knew it was just a set back and she would have to re-lose those few pounds gained from those slip ups.

She talked about how being overweight was like being in debt. Instead of owing money, she owed calories. At the start she calculated that she was 742,000 calories overdrawn. She knew she wasn't going to erase that caloric debt overnight and just started focusing on making healthy food choices and moving her body instead of snuggling on the couch with her cat, Officer Krupke.

Jennette would often talk herself into getting on the treadmill or on the trail for a walk and had those familiar arguments with herself. After a particular bad eating day she forced herself to get out on the walking trail. She didn't want to do it and started telling herself she didn't have to do it, she could turn around but she knew there was no turning back. If she turned back she was screwed, it was not an option. She stated "If I looked back, I'd turn into a pillar of salt and somebody's dog would lick me up and poop me out." Pure literary genius.

Her weight loss didn't happen overnight and she certainly struggled at times but she finally got to a point where she felt really good about herself even though she may not be considered "thin" in this crazy world where you can never be too rich or too thin. She is aware of all the statistics of weight loss and how hard it is to keep it off. She stated that she "accepted the fact that my body needs constant care and attention. I haven't been cured of obesity, I'm just in remission. There is no fat vaccine. I have realistic goals and won't be heartbroken if I never wear a size 4 dress."

Her life is very different than it was at 372 pounds and she is taking advantage of all the wonderful things she is able to do now. She can RUN now and recently finished a half marathon, she can cook healthy foods and eat cake and cookies now and then and doesn't beat herself up about it. That's just part of life.

PQ knows that she needs to take care of her body and knows she is not perfect. Her life isn't sprinkled with fairy dust and all sunshine and roses now that she is thin. She still has problems and frustrations but they can no longer be blamed on obesity. I think we all use our fat as an excuse for why we are not doing the things we want to do in life. I don't want to spoil the ending but she doesn't ride off into the sunset to live a perfect life although she can now live it without all the aches and pains that go along with being twice her size.

She hasn't reached her "goal" weight and she is ok with that. She may never get to that number she set but she doesn't think about that as much as working to increase her running time. She thinks like an athlete now. She has been able to stop focusing so much on the numbers on the scale and start living her life as an active healthy (formerly fat) girl.

Jennette has achieved something so many of us want to accomplish but says is doesn't make her any more special or amazing than anyone else. She says there are times she feels a need to apologize for being so happy, to say she's sorry to all people who want to be thin but are stuck being fat. Her life isn't perfect now just because she can fit her whole body in one side of her fat pants.

Way to go PQ!
This blog seems to have turned into the Pasta Queen fan club lately but I find her story very inspiring and wanted to share it with you. I will now be returning to my regularly scheduled program and can't wait to get to that place where I feel comfortable in my body and have my own success story to tell.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


Apparently you can't say that on NBC.

I'm usually in Vermont on the weekends where I'm lucky if I get to sleep past 7:00 a.m. before B will start nudging me to wake up to make or go to breakfast so being home alone this weekend I could have slept in today but there were more important things going on at 8:00 this morning. I set the alarm just to get up and at least set the VCR for Jennette Fulda's appearance on the Today Show. I actually couldn't go back to sleep so suffered through the news segments to watch it live. In case you were lucky enough to sleep in, the TiVo broke, the tape got eaten, forgot it was on or missed it for whatever reason, check it out. I can't explain how happy I was to see someone I "knew" being an amazing weight loss success story on tv. They even showed her twirling her former fat self round and round.

I wish Pasta Queen could have gotten more book publicity from the national platform but I guess the FCC doesn't think the American people can handle "Half-Assed" on Sunday morning tv. Jennette did a great job getting in the "Half-*Something" at the end of the interview.

I'm still waiting for my very own autographed copy to arrive by snail mail so I can't do a review of the book yet but I'm looking forward to it like a kid looks forward to a trip to Disney. I love the blog so I imagine it will get glowing reviews from me. We shall soon see. I wished they delivered mail on Sunday.

Happy Mothers Day!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Mommy Dearest

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all you mothers out there! I hope the kids treat you right. You should take the day off from all your motherly duties unless, of course, you have little ones and in that case I don't think you can avoid the feedings and care taking unless hubby or some other kind soul is able to take it on. Just let the laundry pile up, leave the dishes in the sink, don't make the beds and enjoy yourself and do what you want. Read a book, take a long bubble bath, get a massage, or whatever makes you happy. Hopefully 'someone' will pick up the slack or, unfortunately, all the work you avoided will only be doubled come Monday. A Mother's work is never done until the kids move out and even then it doesn't always stop there.

My Mommy Dearest is flying in from sunny Florida tonight for a THREE WEEK stay. THREE WEEKS!! Don't get me wrong, I love my mother but THREE WEEKS!! I'm not even sure I'd want my best friend staying with me for three weeks.

I can already feel the tension building and she hasn't even arrived yet. I'm hoping to get through the three weeks without all the usual drama which means I'll need to stay away from the "remember when" stories. I blocked out allot of my childhood memories and the ones I do remember she tells me never happened. I love the way she has been able to revise my childhood to a wonderful happy time when it was so far from it.

I'm going to need superhuman strength to get through these next three weeks as she pushes each and every one of the buttons she installed in me. I usually take some vacation time when she comes up to visit but I didn't do it for this trip. Maybe if I work all day and only see her nights and weekends it won't feel like THREE WEEKS!

I just stocked my house with lots of healthy foods so I hopefully won't resort to binge eating to deal with the stress of having her here for so long. I think it may be a good idea to hit the gym every night after work so I will have less hours of Smothering time.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Must See TV

I don't even know if the Today Show is on the network that uses that slogan but you have to mark your calendars for Sunday, May 11th - it really is a must see. In case you missed her most recent post, Pasta Queen will be making a guest appearance on the Today Show this Sunday. As you probably already know, Jennette Fulda a/k/a Pasta Queen is the author of the extremely popular blog Half of Me. Jennette has lost more than half her weight, recently completed a half marathon and is a published author of Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir. I just ordered my very own autographed copy of her book and you should too.

I can say "I knew her when ...." When I first started reading her blog she weighed over 350 pounds but you wouldn't know it looking at her now. What an amazing transformation! You can even have fun spinning her round and round on her progress photos.

There are so many woman like Jennette who have been through this struggle, overcame obstacles and sabotagers, resisted temptation, got off the couch, made it through the highs and lows, kept at it when the numbers on the scale wouldn't budge, got healthy, stuck with it and succeeded in breaking through to the other side. It makes me believe I can get there (and stay there) too. I just keep telling myself it will happen, I need to think positive, make each and every decision work, keep making one good decision after another and, most importantly, never give up.

Check your local listings for the Today Show and don't miss it no matter what your mother wants you to do that day.

Congrats to Pasta Queen! I hope she makes a ton of money in book sales and enjoys every minute of her success. Thanks to Pasta Queen for showing us all how to be a weight loss success story.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Excuses Excuses ....

I have a million of them: I'm stressed, I'm tired, I had to work late, my friends are in town, I was at a party/wedding/birthday, I have a headache, my knee hurts, it's too cold, it's raining, it's snowing, it's too hot, it's dark, I'm congested, my asthma has been acting up, my allergies are bothering me, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH.

I have been using all these excuses and so many more. I think the only excuse I haven't used is "my dog ate it" but only because I don't have a damn dog, otherwise I'm sure I'd find a way to blame it for my inability to stay focused, eat right, stop binging on junk and work out harder and longer.

I spend more time reading about other people's weight loss successes instead of focusing on my own efforts. I feel like a fraud just having a blog that purports to chronicle my weight loss effort. I started reading blogs like Pasta Queen's (and so many other weight loss champions) when she had over 100 pounds more than me to lose and now she is running half marathons, has had her weight loss memoir published and living the life of a happy healthy person. I don't want to be back here choking on the dust as everyone else leaves me behind in their weight loss wake.

Everyday I wake up with a renewed determination. I tell myself that this is it, this is the beginning of the new me, this is the last time I will see "THAT" number on the scale. Will today be the day? Will that switch be flipped?

Yes! I have to do this NOW! I can't wait another day of floundering around.