Sunday, December 9, 2007


I need help. I don't know what is wrong with me ... I'm not figuring anything out. I haven't lost any weight, I haven't been getting up early and working out, I haven't been bringing my lunch to work, I haven't stopped stuffing my face with sugar, I haven't done a damn thing towards reaching my goal.

I don't know why I can't get in that weight loss mode again. I've been thinking about it, talking about it, writing about it, reading about it, obsessing about it but, honestly, I haven't put in the effort to exercise more consistently and stop the binging. In the past week I've had cake, ice cream, candy, bread, cookies, pasta and every other carb loaded food out there in massive quantities.

Oh sure, I have moments of towing the line. I've been walking to the train station more often, I've been getting a work out in here and there but I have not been consistent with any of it. I've had some good days followed by days eating candy, pizza, chips, cookies, cake, ice cream and today I ate chocolate jimmies right out of the container (ugghh). What am I doing to myself?

What the hell am I waiting for? Why is my body fighting me? Doesn't it remember how good it feels to not carry all this extra weight? Where is my weight loss mojo?

At this point I'm hoping to just get through the holidays without any further expansion of my ass.


  1. Would it be easier on you to allow yourself to not diet during the holidays and go gung ho after the New Year like all the rest of the world? I keep telling myself that perfection will not happen right now...gah.

  2. oh MB... i think there must be something in the air this time of year. i am struggling big time lately. i am with hilly, perfection will not happen right now (does it ever?). it's hard to muster enthusiasm when it's cold and dark and so freakin' busy.
    maybe just set yourself a tiny tiny little goal for this week and aim for that. like today all i am aiming for is Go To Kickboxing and i'm not making any other promises for the rest of the week.

    hang in there comrade! sometimes there's just phases when it's not possible to go at it hammer and tongs. there's nothing wrong with treading water for awhile, if you keep in mind where you want to end up eventually :)

  3. I agree with Hilly, right now I'm not "dieting" I'm not subjecting myself to perfection. I'm doing the 80% good, 20% indulgence and you know some days its 50/50 but thats okay too. Just don't freak out and just do one good thing for yourself every day. For me I'm doing my 1 mile walk around the neighborhood every day. The rest can wait.

    Hang in there!!!
    Sending HUGS your way!!

  4. im sorry that you are a little lost, but I know you will find your way back. it is SO hard this time of the year and Ive seen so many people struggle. I think you still have made a lot of healthy changes in your life and you are right, evne if you maintain this time of the year, that is a huge accomplishment. dont give up on everything you have worked hard for.

  5. There is a mindset in December with the end of the year. It's like crossing the finish line and feeling like you should be able to relax and participate. So, I'm going to give you a goal. Ready?

    1) to NOT gain ANYTHING from this point forward to January 1st. (don't worry about losing, I'm challenging you to hold the line. But here is the catch - NO weighing yourself. Weigh yourself this morning, write it down, and that's it until January 1st.

    2) Do 30 minutes of some physical activity every day all 7 in a week, even Christmas. Even if it's just a slow walk.

    That's it.

    I dare you. And if you waffle on those, EMAIL ME. ;) I'll get you moving again.

  6. Hilly: Great idea. I'm just going to try to maintain and not gain.

    Shauna: Tiny little goals it is until next year. I love playing in the snow so hopefully those snowball fights will burn some calories.

    Scale Junkie: 80/20 sounds like a good plan. Thanks.

    Heather: Thanks for the encouragement - I'm not giving up.

    Savy: Thank you! I can't imagine crossing the finish line when I feel like I haven't even started this race.

    I accept the challenge although I'm sure I will have a hard time with not getting on the scale. Over the years (decades) I've gotten in the habit of weighing myself daily so I'm not sure how successful I'll be staying away from the scale. Maybe I need to take the scale out of the house for the rest of the month so I am not tempted to hop on.

    I haven't really gained anything over these months but I haven't lost anything either which is really frustrating.

    I'm going to take some measurements and pictures and post them all after the first of the year. I've been too embarrassed to do it but I think it will help keep me accountable knowing that I have to put it out there. Here's to feeling great in '08.

    Thanks for your advice and support. I have been inspired by your journey and love reading your blog.


  7. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to catch back up, but you are doing well right now (even considering the christmas party.) Remember that the challenge wasn't for you to not indulge, but to be smart about it - which you need to go back and reread the party recap and see that you absolutely WERE responsible about it. You treated, but didn't go all out. THAT is EXACTLY what I was hoping from you, and you nailed it dead on!

    You also need to remind yourself that maintaining is a heck of a lot harder than losing, especially during this time of year. MOST people GAIN 7 lbs during the holidays. Maintaining is beating the majority of the population right out of the gate! Do not disparage maintaining, because it will be your goal soon enough at your goal weight. This is about learning how to indulge without diving in, and to appreciate without instant remorse.

    You are doing VERY well!


No Sugar Coating Allowed