Lady Anti Monkey Butt

What will they think of next? I saw this product at a farm and tractor store in Vermont and just had to take a picture for you guys because I'm not sure if anyone would believe there is such a thing as "Monkey Butt." I couldn't stop laughing. I was wondering if the version for guys was called "Swamp Ass."

I'm sure it would help with chafing and skin irritations for those of us that have a little too much skin rubbing against skin. I know I stopped wearing skirts and dresses when I gained weight because of the screaming thigh sweats that would rub my skin raw. I tried wearing bike shorts under skirts and dresses but eventually gave up and just wore pants all the time or at least until I wore holes in the thighs of my pants from all the friction. I often felt like I was starting a fire down there with all the friction.

A friend of mine tried using regular baby powder between her legs and learned that powder combined with sweat makes paste. It wasn't pretty. The package says that "Lady Anti Monkey Butt Powder is specially formulated with patented satiny smooth powder to minimize the frictional discomfort that women often experience when using exercise equipment, running, driving, cycling or just walking." Luckily I don't get too much friction while driving but apparently it's good for that. It also says "Indoors or outdoors, work or play, or on occasions when you're on your butt all day, don't let your buns get red. Instead use Lady Anti Monkey Butt Powder for all day protection."

I really should have bought some to give away here but I couldn't bring myself to actually go to the cash register with Anti Monkey Butt powder. Have you ever seen or tried Lady Anti Monkey Butt? If you'd rather get some non-chafing stuff without the silly name, head over to Lori's blog, Finding Radiance, where she is giving away Lanacane Anti-Chafing Gel to one lucky reader.

I hope your staying cool and dry with minimal chafing.

Fat Doesn't Wrinkle

There are hardly any benefits to being overweight, right? It's bad for our heart, our lungs, our liver, our organs, our feet and knees, etc. It's just unhealthy to carry so much extra weight around day in and day out. It takes a toll on our bodies to live off of sugar, soda and processed crap instead of lean protein, fruits, veggies and water.

The one and only benefit I can think of is that fat doesn't wrinkle. Have you ever noticed how many people look so much older after they drop a lot of weight? Fat plumps up your skin and makes everything look smooth, well, except for that cottage cheese look on thighs but even super skinny girls have cellulite. Anyway, I saw this video and it got me thinking about the one and only reason I'm not planning on getting down to what the charts say I should weigh and plan to keep on a few extra pounds.

Enjoy!

I love Anita Renfroe 'cause I like it but I should have put some cream on it ;)

How Fat is FAT?

When I developed earlier than all the other girls in fifth grade I thought I was fat. I wasn't, I just grew boobs and hips.

When I was 15 wearing a size 7 and weighing around 125 pounds I thought I was fat. I wasn't. I had a smokin' hot body. I would really appreciate that body if I had it today.

When I got my drivers license at age 16 I put on a few pounds because I wasn't walking or biking to get where I wanted to go. I probably weighed around 130 pounds and wore a size 9. I thought I was fat. I wasn't. I'd be happy to be 130 now.

Every year I would try new diets and lose a few pounds only to gain more and more. I was shocked when I hit 140 pounds and had to jump to a size 10-12. I couldn't believe I was so close to 150 pounds. I tried to lose it by going on one diet after another and ended up gaining more in the long run. I thought I could get my weight under control. I wasn't going to allow myself to break 150 pounds because then I would be really FAT. It didn't take long to exceed that mark with another round of dieting and regaining.

Up, up and away to 160, 170, 180, 190 ... OMG. How can I weigh 190 pounds? I couldn't imagine being over 200 pounds. There was no way I was going to allow myself to reach the dreaded 200 pound mark. If I hit 200 pounds I would be FAT FAT.

I had to get serious, no more playing games. I obviously didn't know how to do it right and needed help. I paid lots of money for a lifetime membership at Jenny C., ate everything out of a cardboard box for months and months, got weighed in every week by a stranger and lost about 60 pounds. I didn't even get down to my goal weight before I started regaining again. I kept the weight off for about 5 whole minutes. Don't blink, you missed it.

Keeping up with the weight loss/regain pattern, I regained all the weight I lost plus a little more for good measure. I broke through the 200 pound mark and beyond. Even though I've always been active, I felt really FAT at over 200 pounds. How did I let this happen? How could I let myself get so FAT?

I couldn't take it anymore. About 6 years ago I jumped on the low carb (South Beach/modified Atkins) bandwagon hard core. I gave up all white carbs. I didn't have any sugar, flour, pasta, potatoes, bread, rice or starchy vegetables for over a YEAR. I don't know how I did it but I resisted all my favorite foods, got off the constant sugar drip and felt amazing as the weight melted off. I ate tons of salads, veggies, some fruits and lean protein and lost at least 60 pounds (AGAIN).

I thought I had it all figured out. I lost it on my own. I got off the sugar and felt amazing. I was never going to be fat again. WoooHoooo! Sixty pounds seems to be my limit before my body wants its fat back. Before I even got to my goal weight I started gaining it back AGAIN all the way up to where I am today - fat and miserable.

Even though I haven't been successful (yet) in all my years of dieting, I haven't given up. I'm fatter than I've ever been and I can't stand it anymore. I'm not done fighting the fat. I'm going to win this war. I spent the majority of my 20s and 30s being Fat. Fat, you may have taken the best years of my life but you are not going to take any more. Fat, you are going down. I'm going to kick your a$$.

Why couldn't I see I was fine (NOT FAT) the way I was before I started that first diet? How fat is FAT now? Where is my limit?

Fat Talk Free Week ...

Head on over to Size Ate and read all about it.

It sounds like a great idea to me. I'm sick of listening to myself. I'm going to spend the week thinking and talking about HEALTH not F*T. *crickets*

Love and Fat

Do you think being in love makes you fat? Do we let ourselves get too comfortable in our relationships and give up taking care of ourselves? Do we only worry about our appearance when we are looking for love and give up once we find it. I wonder whether I would have gained so much weight if I had been single the past 25 years.

I know so many women who go on extreme diets, starve themselves and work out like maniacs to fit into their wedding dress and then they can't even squeeze into it when they get back from their honeymoon. They all look at their wedding pictures and wish they could get back to that unrealistic weight again.

Last week while B was away I ate healthy and didn't miss a single work out. The other thing I noticed was I didn't drink any Diet Coke even though I had plenty in stock. It makes me wonder why I'll sneak food when B is home but when I am by myself and can eat anything I want without having to hide it I don't.

Hmmm...it makes me think of a recent study about friends making you fat (sorry I'm too lazy to look up the link). It basically suggests that when you are around people who eat fast, you tend to eat fast. When we are surrounded by people who lead a sedentary life, we tend to do the same. If your friends and family are fat you are more likely to follow in their footsteps.

When B is drinking Diet Coke, I want to drink it too. When all my friends are partying and enjoying massive quantities of food and drink I want to be part of the party too. When there is a celebration I want to eat cake with everyone else.

Is it possible to make lasting changes if the people you surround yourself with don't make those changes too?

Who's Fat Now?

I'm not ashamed to admit that I was a huge Party of Five fan back in the day (ok, maybe a little) but that is not the reason why I LOVE Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Love"). Love is just the most recent celebrity to be zoomed in on and called fat because she has a real woman's figure, not the lollipop head on a stick like most of the Hollywood girls. She has boobs, she has hips and maybe not the smoothest thighs but for crying out loud she is NOT fat.

I don't know about you but I'd be ecstatic if my *ss looked like that in a bikini. She is so far from being fat. Love responded to the fat phobic tabloids stating "Like all women out there should, I love my body, I know what I look like, and so do my friends and family. I've sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women's bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I'm not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image. A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful. To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong." Amen.

Taking pictures of minuscule amounts of cellulite on celebrities is not entertainment. I am so sick of reading how HUGE some celebrity has gotten when she is barely out of single digit sizes. It makes me sick. Women are supposed to have curves, right? How do we bring the Marilyn Monroe, Rubenesque, voluptuous body back in style? These magazines and shows pretend to worry about eating disorders and the epidemic it has become while models are collapsing on runways and woman are dying from starvation but that doesn't stop them from running full page ads of a bit of dimpled thigh with big headlines announcing who has let themselves go and has gotten SO FAT.

How can the average woman compare and live up to these unrealistic standards? It is not surprising that even the most healthy woman have issues with their bodies and don't believe they can ever be thin enough until they are in the hospital being fed through a tube too weak to stand and will still look in a mirror and think they are FAT. What are we doing to the woman of the world? Who decided that you can never be too thin? I'd love to see them in a bikini.

Love should LOVE her curves. Even Weetabix agrees, we LOVE Love. Love ROCKS!

Depression and Fat

Which came first the depression or the fat? Are people depressed because they are fat or get fat because they are depressed? I always considered myself a happy glass-is-half-full kind of girl but have had bouts of depression the more weight I put on. I don't know if it is a cause and effect thing. I'm happy when I'm eating heathly and working out and I'm depressed when I binge and slack on the exercise. So why do I keep myself from being happy? There are studies on these issues but I'm too lazy to link to any of them.

I feel so disgusted and betrayed by my body. I have traveled down this road so many times and have gotten so lost. I need to think positive and believe that I can succeed even if I have failed so many times before. What will I do different this time? How will I make this happen? I still haven't worked that out yet.

There are so many woman out there who have so much more weight to lose but have such a positive attitude you just know they are going to make it to their goal. I've read blogs of woman who have lost more than 100 pounds while I've been messing around with the same 5-10 pounds. I have to get out of this funk and find that positive I-can-do-anything-I-set-my-mind-to mentality. Maybe it is all about the attitude.

Broken Scale/Eviction Notice

My scale must be broken. It has been stuck in the same position for weeks and has not budged one iota. Maybe I should get a new digital scale that shows every fraction of a pound so I can see a loss no matter how negligible. I'd be happy with a tenth of a pound right now. I've been eating right and moving my ass but the scale refuses to move downward. WTF!

I'm probably retaining water or gaining muscle or whatever but when I work hard I want to see the results on the scale. I feel like the damn thing is mocking me. I think I heard it snickering at me this morning "I'm going to mess with your head." It is an evil appliance and I'm so tempted to hurl it right out the window. Why should it have the power to make me feel good or bad?

I know I shouldn't stress over the numbers on the scale. Eating right, exercising and living a healthy life should be enough of a reward but I want to see a lower number, dammit! I'm doing the right things so eventually my body will realize it has to give up its fight to keep the fat, right?

I realize muscle weighs more than fat and I know there are numerous reasons why I may not see a loss on the scale. I've screwed with my metabolism so severely over the years I have to work harder and harder each time I get serious about losing weight. My body has gotten very attached to all the fat it has been living with for so many years but it has to go now. The fat party is over. I'm hereby giving my fat an eviction notice. Hey Fat, "Get out and stay out! I can't live with you anymore. You are no good for me. Get out of my life. I hate you. You make me sick. You need to go far far away and never come back. Just go! Do you hear me?? Get out!!!"

Is Brit FAT?

I'm sure everyone has seen Britney's recent VMA performance by now. Even if you didn't watch the VMA's you must have seen clips or pictures from it on the news, entertainment shows, magazines or computer sites. If you have been living under a rock and haven't seen it yet you can check it out here.

I'm sure most people would agree that it was not the spectacular comeback it was advertised to be. I think most would agree that the weave, wig or whatever it was did not look pretty, the *dancing* was more like a low class beginner's strip show and most people were probably wondering what kind of drugs she was on or when she was going to stumble right off of those 5 inch CFM boots.

What I can't understand is how they can call her FAT! Do you think she looked fat? Ok, she wasn't a lollipop head stick figure but she certainly was not fat. I'm not a fan but I just can't believe people think she is FAT. If she is FAT, what am I?

I don't think her outfit was flattering at all, she doesn't have her teenage body anymore and wasn't very tone but she absolutely was not fat. She should and could have worn some amazing designer outfit that would have shown off her curves and she would have looked fabulous but she basically wore a sparkly bra and panties (I guess we can all be glad she was finally wearing panties).

I would be ecstatic if my body were as *fat* as hers. Come on people, just look at her stomach. This girl just had TWO BABIES in the last three years. I'm sure this is one of the reasons why virtually every woman in this country has some sort of eating disorder or issue with their weight no matter what their size.

What is wrong with us? Why are we being encouraged to be a size 0 or 00? What is that about? I don't think it is attractive to have a layer of skin on top of your skeleton. I like my curves (although right now I admit there is way too much jiggle over them). Woman are supposed to have curves. That is the way we were made. We are not supposed to look like pubescent boys.

It depresses me to think that even if I got down to my goal weight some people would still think I was fat. That is just so messed up and makes me want to scream. I find myself yelling at the TV or shaking my head and muttering to magazines headlines "SHE IS NOT FAT."

Brit may be strange or just a bit kooky, she may or may not be a good mom, she may make very poor choices in men, she may party too much, she may need some serious fashion advice and a good hairdresser and she may forget to wear underwear most nights but she is absolutely 100%, no doubt about it in my mind, NOT FAT.

Would you be happy with Brit's body? Would you feel fat if that was the body you saw in the mirror? How would you feel if you looked like that and people were calling you fat?