I feel so out of control and unable to get a handle on my weight, well, I can get ahold of some serious love handles but that is the problem. I've been trying to work through all the emotional baggage I've been carrying around for most of my life, trying to figure out why I keep doing this to myself, why I need to stuff down my emotions with food instead of feeling them, why the food seems to be more important than my desire to lose weight. I'm wondering if I will ever really figure it out.
I'm so tired of fighting this fight and not making any progress. I'm beat down by the compulsive eating and binge episodes and the despondency I feel after I do it. I'm sick of not being able to wear 90% of the clothes in my closet. I'm desperate to change my life and feel good about myself again. I feel like I've hit rock bottom and have been living at rock bottom for years now.
I can't take it anymore. It's time to pull myself up, stop making excuses, stop stuffing my emotions with food and start making changes. It's obvious I need to change my ways if I want to get this weight off. The only good thing about being at rock bottom is there is nowhere to go but up.