Excuses, Excuses, Excuses....

Hey There, Hi There, Ho There - long time no blog. This working thing really sucks up way too much living time. I've been wanting to write here but just can't seem to find the time to sit at the computer and do it. Something had to give and, unfortunately, as much as I love blogging I just couldn't get to it. If I had a choice between working out and writing about working out I've been choosing to sweat. Priorities, right?

I've been keeping up with what's going on with you by reading blogs on the train during my commute to and from work but service is spotty and it's almost impossible to comment from my phone so I'm sorry if I haven't been a good blogging buddy. I continue to cheer you on even though you don't see it in a comment. I hope you understand and I hope to get better with my time management and get around to commenting once in a while. I miss you guys.

I keep seeing this commercial for a local health insurance company where a couple asks each other every day whether they went to the gym. Their excuses range from "I forgot my ponytail holder," "I missed the cat," "I don't think I needed it today," "my Mother called," and the most common excuse I used other than "no time," "toooooooo tired." It got me thinking about the million and one excuses we use for not living the life we want to live. There is always an excuse for not being able to get to the gym, right? We can always find a reason why we can't go for a walk, why we can't eat healthy, why we can't resist the tempting fattening foods in our face every day, why we can't start our diet today, why we'll put it off until tomorrow or next Monday, after the holidays, after the birthday party, etc. etc. We need to stop giving ourselves excuses and start finding ways to work around them.

It really comes down to making a commitment to take care of ourselves and making it a priority in our lives. We have to eat to live so we need to focus on more fruits, vegetables and lean proteins and less fried, sugary fatty processed crap food. Sure, we can indulge now and then but not every day at every meal. A treat should be a treat, not an everyday thing. I know what that store bought cake tastes like and I don't love it so why should I waste the calories on it?

We can't survive without water but we can certainly live without soda. I'm still amazed that I haven't had a Diet Coke in almost 4 years! I used to have Diet Coke running through my veins and I'm not even tempted to drink it anymore. I don't crave it and could care less if other people around me are drinking it, I don't even want it now and there was a time I thought I couldn't live without it.

We can change our habits. It is possible. We have the technology and the ability we just have to believe we can and make it happen. It won't happen overnight but it will happen if we keep believing it is possible and keep working towards our goals. We will never be perfect but we can keep getting better and better with each little baby step in the right direction.

My biggest excuse these days is I have "no time" to do anything but I'm squeezing in exercise where I can and trying to rein in the mindless/stress/social eating. Between working long hours, the holidays, and vacation, I've regained some weight but I'm not freaking out about it (yet). I don't have the time to spend hours at the gym everyday anymore so it's no surprise I'm up on the scale but I'm fighting to keep it under control and deal with my circumstances. I finally worked up the courage to ask the boss about taking an extended lunch twice a week so I could go to my kickboxing class and he said YES ;).

So, what's your biggest excuse? and what can you do to work around it?

Happy 2012!

Happy New Year! Happy New You!

How has 2012 been treating you so far? Are you working on those resolutions. I don't like making them because if it is important on January 1st it is important every other day of the year. Start now, no matter what the date on the calendar is. Don't wait 'til the first of the year, Monday or after that big event, start right now. I hope this is the year we all reach our goals or at least take those baby steps to get closer to realizing them.

Long time no blog, huh? I've written a ton of posts in my head but just haven't had the time to sit at the computer and put them out there. Working really sucks up way too much of my life but it's a necessary evil since I wasn't lucky enough to have a big fat trust fund. I've been contemplating posting short and sweet updates just to keep the crickets from taking over this space but I still need to find the time to do that. I really miss unemployment.

I know most people assume that when a weight loss blogger disappears it's because they've fallen into the rabbit hole vat of chocolate and started packing on the pounds again but I'm not too far gone. Yes, I've gained a bit but I'm still hanging on to the wagon. I'm still fighting to get back to my goal weight that I saw for a nanosecond back in September but I've been able to maintain an average loss of 90 pound for a while now. Vacation and the holidays were filled with temptations but I did the best I could to get my workouts in and abstain from stress eating.

To catch you up on what's been going on with me, I'll start where I left off. Las Vegas was a blast. I don't know why it took us so long to get there. We gambled, partied like aging rock stars, barely slept and ate way too much crappy buffet food. I wasn't sure I could do it but I managed to pull an all nighter on our last night there. Of course, at 40+ it took me a few days to recover from it all but recover I did, just in time for the holiday party season. We did escape the sensory overload of the strip a couple of days to check out the Hoover Dam, Red Rock Canyon and the Valley of Fire. It was nice to get away from all the lights, bells and whistles and be able to check out the quiet desert scenery. It's such a vast contrast to the landscape here in the northeast. It was beautiful but so weird to not see any trees or greenery.

There was way too much family drama over the holidays that's still going on but there really isn't anything I can do about it so I'm trying not to stress out over it. There is always drama in my family and I have learned that the less I get involved the better. I try to be the peacemaker and smooth things over but only end up getting caught in the crossfire so I'm doing my best to stay off the battlefield.

Work has been stressing me out and seriously cutting into my gym time. I barely worked out at all the whole month of December and I was starting to feel like a slug. I did get a few workout in here and there and I've been walking to and from the train station, taking the stairs at the office and going for walks at lunch when I can actually get out but it is not the same as a good sweaty workout at the gym. Ok, are you sitting down? I'm thisclose to completing the C25K program. I completed Week 9, Day 1 which means I only have 2 more days of the program left to do. Not bad, it's only taken me over a year and a half to complete the 9 week program but, you know by now, I'm speedy like a turtle. I never ever thought I'd be able to run for 30 minutes straight without having something chasing me but I've done it. I may be SLOW but I'll get there. I have no doubt about that.

Even though I haven't been able to comment much, if at all, I've been reading and keeping up with what's been going on with you so please know I'm there in spirit cheering you on. I've said prayers for people going through tough times and danced the happy dance for your successes.

Keep rocking it, my friends. HAPPY NEW YOU!

I'm Lost

What a crazy week! I was so excited to be able to start my first day back at work knowing I reached my goal of losing 101 pounds but I haven't seen that number again since Monday. I know I'll get back to it but my official weigh in this week brought me to an even 100 pounds lost. I still can't wrap my head around that number.

Where am I? What am I doing? How did I get here? How do I get to where I want to be?

I'm feeling so lost and confused. My head has been spinning out of control and I don't know how to stop it. I'm totally overwhelmed with the new job and just trying to hold it together. I couldn't even decide on what to get for lunch the other day, I just walked around and tried to stop myself from bursting out in tears. I ended up eating a banana and some cashews I brought because it was just too much for me to think about.

Not only am I lost in the office but I'm in a totally different part of the city and I don't know where anything is so I've been walking in circles, getting lost and trying to find my way around. I've spent all my working years in the Financial District and now I'm over in the Back Bay where it is certainly much cleaner and more upscale but it's hard to find places I can afford to go to.

There are so many new programs and procedures and it is taking me so long to complete the simplest tasks. I know I'm good at what I do so it's frustrating not being able to show it. I'm sure I'll be fine once I get my bearings and learn all the procedures but it's so hard. I've been electronically challenged this week too. Seems like every time I tried to do something, even though I was doing it right, for one reason or another it wouldn't work.

I miss my gym time and need to figure out what I'm going to do about that. I have been walking to the train station every day which is a little over a mile each way. I also took a self-defense kickboxing class Thursday night after work but I didn't love it. The instructor kind of rubbed me the wrong way and I didn't find it motivating although I definitely got a good workout. My arms were killing me on Friday and, as he promised, my abs were really sore this morning.

Just wanted to check in and let you know about my first week back at the grind. I haven't even mentioned that I joined Biz' Holiday Challenge yet. I hope to get a post up about that soon along with my plans for maintenance once I figure out what those are.

I hope you all are staying strong and taking care of yourself. I'm sorry I haven't been out there commenting as much as but I've been reading from my phone, usually on the train where I don't get service to be able to comment. Please know that I'm still cheering you on even if you don't get a comment from me.

Off to start Week 2. Dear God, please let it be better than Week 1.

Rock on my friends!

A New Beginning...

I will be starting a whole new chapter of my life tomorrow. A new job, a new schedule, a new gym, new classes, it's exciting and scary at the same time. I'm trying to stay positive about it and keep telling myself it will all work out the way it's supposed to. Everything happens for a reason and I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I know I've been doing allot of bitching and moaning about going back to work, being scared of losing ground, worried about falling back down the dark, scary rabbit hole of bad habits, and not being confident in my ability to continue living this new healthy lifestyle but I'm working on changing my attitude. I've changed. I'm not the same person I was two years ago and my new job will not be like my old one.

Today is the last day of my glorious, life changing 22 month sabbatical. I am so grateful to have been able to take this time off and find myself again. As upset as I was about being laid off in November 2009 it ended up being the best thing that could have ever happened to me. There were so many more things I wanted to accomplish that I didn't get around to doing but I need to give myself a little credit for what I did accomplish. I'm happier, stronger and ALMOST 101 pounds lighter and that is certainly something to be proud of and I am proud.

I worked my ass off to get here and I'm not going to allow a job and my need for a paycheck to take any of it away from me. I was hoping I would hit my goal of losing 101 pounds before I started working again but 2 or 3 pounds really doesn't make any difference. If I really wanted to just see that number I could probably sit in a sauna and sweat it out but I've stopped playing those kind of games. It's not about the numbers anymore, it's about feeling good in my own skin, knowing who I am, letting my light shine and showing it to the world.

I am so thankful to have been given the gift of time to travel such a soul saving journey. I can't wait to see what has been written in the next chapter. I've been so blessed. Thank God for miracles. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

This is your life! Are you who you want to be?

It's Always Something ....

WOW! What a week!

As Roseanne Roseannadanna* used to say, "it's always something - if it ain't one thing, it's another. I was disappointed I didn't get my usual workouts in last week due to a bunch of different reasons. Sometimes life just gets in the way, ya know? I did go to the gym Monday for an hour long session with the elliptical, got my ass kicked at TaeBox on Tuesday and went on a few walks here and there but that was it. It's funny that a couple of years ago that would have been a great week of workouts.

B had to have some minor surgery on Thursday (he's fine now) so I wasn't able to go to kickboxing and both of our vehicles are at the repair shop so I didn't have any wheels to get around. We've been having quite a run of bad car karma these days. We've spent about $2,000 in repairs in just the past couple of weeks and the vehicles still aren't running right.

I really need to suck it up and get back to work soon. How do you really know what you're getting yourself into when everyone seems so sweet and nice when you interview with them? I know you will think I'm crazy but I actually turned down a job last week. Who does that in this economy? Have I lost my mind? Maybe. I turned it down because it was an extremely HIGH stress position for extremely low dirt pay and I just wasn't willing to sell out knowing I'd be walking right back into a bad situation. I do have two interesting interviews set up for next week though so I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'll end up in a good place.

Anyway, just wanted to check in and let you know what's been going on with me.

*Most of you are probably too young to remember Gilda Radner's SNL News character Roseanne Roseannadanna. Roseanne Roseannadanna would read a letter, usually from the ever-curious Richard Fader of Fort Lee, New Jersey. The letter would ask a series of questions, usually about some current social issue, to which Roseannadanna would usually reply, "Mr. Fader, you sure do ask a lot of stupid questions for a guy from New Jersey," or "You belong in New Jersey!" Then she would sometimes make a derogatory comment about New Jersey. She would then answer the questions. While answering the questions, she would invariably digress, launching into a lengthy anecdote with no relevance to the topic at hand, frequently having to do with an encounter Roseannadanna had had with a celebrity. Invariably, the story would lead into Roseannadanna's going into disgustingly graphic detail about bodily functions or personal hygiene; with these details, she would use a famous celebrity as an example and say that she would ask these celebrities, "What are ya tryin' to do, make me sick?!"

Eventually, Jane Curtin would interrupt, stating, "Roseanne, you're making me sick." Curtin would then ask her what her comments had to do with the question. Roseannadanna's response was, "Well, Jane, it just goes to show you, it's always something--if it ain't one thing, it's another."

Cardio Kickboxing Kicked My Ass

WOW! I had a blast at my first cardio kickboxing class. My friend belongs to Women's Fitness of Boston so she took me as her guest (thanks Kathy!). It was a blast. There is no way I would have ever made it through that class a year ago. I'm not the most graceful gazelle in the herd so it took me a while to get the moves down but I didn't make too much of a fool of myself. Two days later, my ass and hips are still sore, must have been all those squats, lunges and kicks.


If you live in the Boston area, the gym is running a special trial 3 week membership for $21. I already have my Planet Fitness membership but the don't offer any classes. I figured I can go into the city twice a week for kickboxing and it works out to less than $5 a class. Totally worth it, even on my limited unemployment income.


The instructor was amazing. I can't wait 'til next Tuesday to get my ass kicked again.

April was a Push

As most of you already know, I love to play cards, usually the Texas Hold 'em variety. In addition to friendly local Hold 'em tournaments, I've been known to make a donation to our Native American friends now and again at Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun in Connecticut. When I go to the casino I usually head straight for the blackjack tables where, as you probably know, when your hand matches the dealer's hand you don't win but you don't lose either, it's called "a push." Well, my weight loss for the month of April was a push. Today I weighed in exactly the same weight as I was on April 1st. I was up as much as 5.3 pounds and down a mere .2 during the month but ended up with a push. Better than busting out, right?

I worked out consistently, I ate pretty well, I didn't binge, I didn't drink and I didn't even lose a measly tenth of a pound the whole damn month. It's crazy but I'm really not too upset about it. I've been very consistent with my workouts and have been hitting the weights more often so I'm just going to continue what I've been doing in addition to paying more attention to what I'm stuffing in my face.

Since leaving work at the end of November, I've lost a total of 26.4 pounds which averages a little over 5 pounds a month which is ok with me. I'm determined to kick it up a notch and show a good loss for the month of May. It's time for me to push it. Who's with me?

Who Dat?

Every time I hear "who dat?" I think of Janet Jackson's song Nasty.

"Hey! Who's that thinkin' nasty thoughts?
Nasty boys!
Who's that in that nasty car?
Nasty boys!
Who's that eatin' that nasty fruit?
Nasty boys!
Who's jammin' to my nasty groove?
Nasty boys!
Ladies? Nasty boys don't mean a thing
Oh you nasty boys"

After this past weekend I started hearing "who dat eatin' that nasty food?" I hate to admit it but it was me.

Congrats to the Saints for winning the SuperBowl for the first time in franchise history. The Saints certainly had an amazing season and I can't think of any other city that is more deserving and in need of some extra attention and financial assistance than New Orleans.

My apologies to the Saints and the Colts but I didn't really care who won the SuperBowl this year. It was an exciting game and I'm glad the Saints won but my football season ended when the Patriots got knocked out. How did Drew Brees get all pumped up to play after having a beautiful baby boy and Tom Brady seemed anxious to end the season as early as possible? Oh
well, spring training will be starting soon enough. Go Sox!

I also have to admit I spent more time playing poker and eating all sorts of salty sugary snacks all afternoon than I did watching the game or the lame commercials. I should have been fully
satiated after eating a big bowl of beef stew with fresh hot wheat bread but I couldn't stop myself. I started snacking on chips and dip, crackers, carrot cake, garlic bread sticks and whatever else was on the table. UGGH! Does it ever get easier to resist?

I've been on a roll working out hard at the gym and eating healthy reasonably sized portions but one weekend of mindless social eating sends me right back down the slippery slope of regaining any weight I so painstakingly lost. The scale says I'm up over 5 pounds but that doesn't seem possible. Apparently my body doesn't know about the mathematical equation that says I'd have to have eaten over 16,000 extra calories to have gained 5 pounds in two days. How can it take a month to lose 5 pounds and two days to gain it right back? It really isn't fair, is it?

I'm going to need to put in some serious extra hours at the gym this week just to get back to my pre-weekend weight. It shouldn't even be possible for me to gain 5 pounds in a weekend but the scale does not lie. Let's hope some of it is from all the salty snacks I inhaled and it won't take a month for me to lose it again.

Drew Brees and the Saints get to go to Disney World and I'm going to be spending even more time at Planet Fitness.

Who Dat gettin' right back on the healthy living bandwagon? ME!

Say What?

UGGHH! I had to go to the unemployment office first thing this morning to try and find out why I haven't gotten paid. Apparently my former torturers didn't respond to unemployment timely so my benefits were suspended. Those miserable b*st*rds are still screwing me and I haven't worked there in over 2 months. I was stressed out just thinking about those jerks and how they still have the power to piss me off and stress me out. Luckily there's little chance my in-laws will throw us out on the street for paying the rent late but I have bills to pay. Let's hope they show me the money soon.

Anyway, moving on to the point of my post. After wasting time at the unemployment office I went right to the gym and called B on my way in to tell him what happened. He said "knowing you, you're probably at the gym." I said "who are you talking to?" "since when am I the person that's probably at the gym?"

After I kicked my own a$$ sweating out 35 minutes on the elliptical, a 20 minute weight circuit, 40 minutes back on the elliptical and 40 minutes on the treadmill (a record amount of time at the gym today), I was walking out and the girl behind the counter said "see you tomorrow." I guess that means I'm a regular now that the gym staff expects to see me there every day.

Who would have thought I'd be hearing people say such things?

Judgment Free Zone

I got a month's head start on all those people who make the new year resolution to get in shape. I received a coupon for a 1 year membership for $99 to my local health club so I decided to splurge even though I don't have a paycheck anymore. You can't beat that price.

My bf and a few other friends have deluxe memberships to this gym where they can bring a guest for free so I usually just go with one of them but since I now have more time on my hands and can go anytime during the day I decided to suck it up and pay for my own membership so I don't have to be dependant on anyone else.

Yesterday was my first day at the gym and I felt so good getting all sweaty. I have a dreadmill and elliptical machine at home but it just isn't the same. I get a better workout at the gym just looking at everyone else pushing it and working hard. I only worked out for an hour but I got a good sweat on even though I didn't push it too hard the first day.

I'm going to be hitting the gym like it's my job now so hopefully there will be some significant weight loss to report here in the coming months. Stay tuned.

Manual Labor Day

Every muscle in my body aches and I didn't even hit the gym this weekend. We've been building an addition on our camp and spent the entire weekend raising the roof. I went up and down and up and down the ladder so many times my legs were shaking by the end of each day. My shoulder is throbbing and I can barely make a fist with my right hand because it's numb from using the framing nail gun, that thing is heavy.

As much as I hate my office job I know I'm not cut out for construction work. There's a reason it's called MANual labor. I don't know if it was the country air or pure exhaustion that made me sleep so well but I was out like a light as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Bill was dancing all over the roof without anything to hold on to while I was moving like a snail afraid of falling with every single step. We got the roof raised and will hopefully get it enclosed and protected from the elements the next time we're up there.

It was so nice to have a three day weekend up north although I wish I got some time to relax. Between Bill being sick and in the hospital all last summer and building the addition this summer it seems like we haven't had any time to play. I really need to get some play time.

The weather was so beautiful and we were able to get allot accomplished so it was a very productive weekend. Hiking up and down the ladder onto the roof is a better workout than any stair machine I've ever been on. I didn't get any traditional workouts in over the weekend but I can definitely feel the burn. Time to find my muscle relaxers.