Where is the track ?

I can't seem to find the track. How do you stay on track? When I'm following WW and stay within my points, I'm on track; when I'm following Atkins and stay away from carbs, I'm on track; when I'm following OA and stay away from all the white stuff, I'm on track; when I'm following Jenny Craig and eating their prepared food, I'm on track. I've tried all of these things and so many more. I've spent years on track but my track has just been a vicious circle. My track just keeps going round and round. I'm so dizzy I could puke. I've taken the track and it always leads me right back to where I don't want to be. Where is the on-ramp to the track that will finally get me to my destination? What is the destination? Will I ever be happy with my body? Will I continue to struggle with it every single day of my life?

I'm at my highest weight of all time and still can't find the motivation to get serious about losing this weight. What the hell is wrong with me? Will I ever have my "ah hahhhh" moment when I break through whatever is holding me back and be able to lose it and keep it off permanently? What if I can't find the right track?