Goodbye 2008

I'm glad to see you go (no, not "you" but the year 2008); I'm always glad to see "YOU" so please keep coming to visit. 2008 certainly wasn't the best of times and it wasn't the absolute worst of times but 2008 wasn't very good to me and I'm looking forward to better days in 2009.

The year started off with promise and optimism as each new year does with that fresh calendar and clean slate but in February when B broke his back it just seemed to go downhill from there. There weren't enough good days to balance out all the bad.

I had a huge fallout with my Mother during her visit in May and things still haven't been resolved. It's hard to forget things people say, especially people who are supposed to love you, but I'm trying to forgive even though I can't forget. I blocked out lots of my childhood and I can't do that now as an adult. Things will never be the same with my Mother but she is who she is and isn't going to change so I have to learn to deal with it and move on.

Since May we have only communicated through e-mail and some of hers were pretty nasty but we did talk on the phone briefly on Christmas day so at least that first phone call is out of the way. It is sad because she lives so far away and we're not getting any younger. It's hard to work on the relationship when we haven't been able to make any better memories since her last visit. Is the mother/daughter relationship ever easy?

B just recovered from his back injury and things were looking better when B was attacked by a nasty case of fungal meningitis that could have killed him. The 2-3 weeks the overworked seemingly uncaring medical "professionals" misdiagnosed him was hell but we were lucky they finally did the right thing before he had any permanent damage. Our entire summer was spent in and out of the hospital which is never a good place to be.

Who knows what would have happened if I didn't freak out and insist they give him the spinal tap. I did learn the lesson of the necessity to speak up and not take no for an answer when it comes to health care because the doctors don't know what is normal for you or your family. Sometimes you have to kick and scream (not literally) to get them to listen but you have to do it. It could be a matter of life and death. I still don't think he has recovered 100% but he's almost there.

If all that wasn't enough to deal with they laid off a few key people at my office after 10 years, reassigned me, moved my desk to a dark, messy, crowded corner which made me even more miserable every single day I have to walk through those doors. I've started looking for a new job but with this economy there really isn't anywhere for me to go right now so I have to suck it up, do my job and collect my paycheck without shedding tears or making myself crazy.

I didn't make an ounce of forward/downward progress in my weight loss efforts in 2008 which makes me just as frustrated now as I was at the beginning of the year. I had consistent losses and just as consistent regains. I got pretty good at maintaining an all-time highest weight which is not something I'm proud of.

I know I need to put more effort into getting healthy and getting this weight off. I'm thinking of a different strategy for the upcoming year. I'm working on a life plan to get me into shape and take care of myself and not worry so much about the scale, the numbers, the clothes sizes, etc. I get so focused on the scale and the numbers that I get discouraged and binge or lose a few pounds and then act like a spoiled kid and reward myself with some sinful sugary fat pill and set myself back to square one.

I'm looking forward to better days in 2009. Thank you for encouraging me and lifting my spirits when I was down. I hope to have more to cheer about in the coming year and look forward to sharing with you.

Happy New Year 2009!

Things done ...

I stole this list from Kelly who stole it from someone else, who probably stole it from someone else. Maybe I should add "stolen something" to the list. I've bolded everything I've done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (only in the shower)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept overnight on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden a gondola in Switzerland (only gondolas in the North East)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (only if a day cruise counts)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language (working on it)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (does anybody?)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (no, but I've bought and eaten my fair share)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (lots - B+)
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. One cavity or less (I wish)

So many things to add to the list ... so many more things need to be bolded. What have you done?

Holiday PC

Apparently I need to apologize for offending people by wishing you all a Merry Christmas. Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with it but I understand it isn't politically correct and some people aren't happy unless they have something to b*tch about and having someone have the audacity to wish them a Merry day gets them riled up for a fight and puts their panties in a knot. Can't we all just chill out, feel the love, and be Merry.

I grew up celebrating Christmas and Chanukah so I really should have thought to include all faith's holidays during this time of year. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, whatever holiday it is that you celebrate. I still just don't understand why people get offended if I say Merry Christmas - I'm just wishing you well, I'm not pushing any faith on you, I'm not insisting you buy baby Jesus a present or making you kneel on the alter. I think some people need to get over the sensitivity to people wishing them well.

Happy, Happy, Merry, Merry ... Christmas, Chanukah/Hanukkah, Chrismukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, Ramadan, Festivus or Thursday.

Is it still ok to say HAPPY NEW YEAR?

Merry Merry !!

We saw the musical "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" last night at the Wang Theater and then watched the cartoon version when we got home. The musical was fun, the theater was gorgeous and it was something different to do but the cartoon version is the best.

'Twas the night before Christmas ... but it just doesn't feel like Christmas. There's lots of snow on the ground (although it is warm and drizzling now), the bells are ringing, the lights are shining and the lines at all the stores are crazy long and painfully slow but for some reason I'm not feeling it this year. I just don't have any of that Christmas spirit. Where did it go? Bah Humbug! Maybe Santa will bring my spirit back tonight. I was a good girl ... really I was. Santa, please bring me a big bag of holiday spirit.

I hope you are feeling the joy of the holiday. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!

Still Snowing ...

I've always loved the winter. You won't hear me complaining about the cold weather because you can always add layers but there is only so much you can take off when it is sticky hot and humid. I get so excited when I can get out and play in the mountains and would rather be there than the beach any day.

I have tons of winter gear that keeps me warm and dry which is the key to enjoying winter sports. It is worth the price to pay the extra money for the quality gear. It is worth every penny when you are out in the elements. I pray for piles of snow and I find myself counting the days until the snowmobile trails open in the middle of summer. The trails opened last Tuesday and I was getting excited looking forward to that first ride of the season on some fresh powder. I'm a winter girl and usually never complain about too much snow until this past weekend.

My office closed at 3:00 on Friday but because I now work for a complete *ssh*le I ended up having to work until after 5:00 (I was not happy). I finally got home in the height of the storm and had to shovel out my driveway all by myself. B worked late Friday night, Saturday morning and again this morning which meant that we couldn't go up north to play. I tried to get one of my friends to drive up with me but he had to stay home this weekend too. My in-laws were on vacation and the college kids that live downstairs went home for the holidays so I was the only one around to do snow removal. I spent hours Friday night shoveling, I spent hours Saturday morning and night shoveling, and I spent more time out there this morning shoveling. My back is sore and I'm very cranky I couldn't take my snowmobile out for a ride.

I realized that I don't love the snow as much as I thought I did. I really love it when I am out playing in it. When I'm skiing, snowboarding, snowshoeing or snowmobiling I absolutely LOVE IT but when I'm stuck in the city for the weekend shoveling, not so much love.

At least shoveling is good exercise, right? Time to get back out there and shovel some more ... oh my aching back.

Congratulations Michelle Aguilar!!

I'm so happy! We have another female Biggest Loser!!! Against the odds, good (Michelle) triumphed over evil (Vickie/Heba). Michelle pulled out the win from the remaining b*tchy, smack talkin' evil blue team.

I have to admit this was my least favorite season with all the b*tches and back stabbing going on *Vickie*. I'm glad Heba didn't make it to the final three and ecstatic that Ed and Vickie lost to Michelle. Although I have to admit they ALL looked great (although Heba needs a better bra and Vickie needs to learn to walk in heels). Michelle was so much more deserving of the win because she had the right attitude and didn't hurt anyone along the way to get there. It was nice to see karma in action. Chalk one up for the good guys.

I sincerely hope that all the contestants keep the weight off. We watched them work so hard to lose it and I know firsthand how easy it can creep back on if you are not diligent. I was looking at a site that showed some of the contestants from previous seasons and it was extremely depressing to see quite a few of them have gained back the weight they lost. Check out "where are they now." Even winners of prior seasons gained back virtually all of the weight back. They may have won the big money prize but they lost the war by regaining it all back. I know what it's like to watch the weight pile back on and it breaks my heart to see it happen to the contestants we got to know and love.

Stay strong Michelle!! You deserve this new life. Congratulations!

I'm just like Oprah ...

It's true. Who knew? Except for the wealth and fame, I'm just like Oprah.

In case you haven't already noticed, Oprah has gained back the weight she lost (again). In a way, I sort of feel sorry for women in the public eye that have a problem with their weight. At least I don't have to see my fat *ss on the cover of a magazine with the horrible "look who's fat again" headlines.

Apparently there will be an article in next month's O Magazine where Oprah writes "I'm embarrassed, I can't believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I'm still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, `How did I let this happen again?'" I've been thinking the exact same thing. How did I let this happen AGAIN?

It just goes to prove that it doesn't matter if you have tons of money, gourmet chefs cooking healthy foods and the best personal trainers money can buy, it is still a constant struggle. Like Oprah, I need to use the tools I know work and get healthy. I don't want to lose weight to look good (although that is definitely a bonus), I just want to feel good and be healthy and happy in my own skin.

Ho, Ho, Ho ....

Whoa, whoa, whoa ... is what I should be saying. The tempting treats are everywhere trying to push me off the weight loss track. I refuse to put on a single pound just because "it is the season." I'm not throwing my hands in the air and giving up until January 1st.

The parties, the cocktails, the food gifts will be handled with extreme restraint. It isn't like I can never have a cookie again. What is it about the holidays that make people want to push their baked goods on you. Isn't it enough that my credit bill is getting fatter? I don't need any extra padding on my thighs. It takes extreme effort to pass up all of the special holiday goodness but I'm determined to halt the gaining trend and don't need to wait another three weeks to see how much more damage can be done.

'Tis the season ...