What Size?

What a mess, huh? I have a confession to make to you. I have TONS of clothes I haven't been able to fit into for years, decades even. I have clothes with tags on them and clothes I've been dreaming about fitting back into someday. I have clothes ranging in sizes from 8 to 18 so you can imagine what a mess it is. Just look at that picture. I'm embarrassed to say that this is what one wall of my closet looked like a couple of weeks ago. Since then I have dropped off over 10 bags to charity, given away 3 bags to friends and have many more bags to go but I'm plugging away at it and making some good progress getting rid of the fat clothes and sorting through what is left.

What I really wanted to tell you about though is the pair of "goal" pants I came across. The last time I lost a substantial amount of weight I did it by doing a modified Atkins/South Beach type diet. I survived a year without having any "white stuff," you know, bread, pasta, pizza, rice, potatoes, sugar, flour, etc. I'm not sure how I lasted so long without eating the foods I loved but I did it and lost over 60 pounds by diet alone. I thought I solved the mystery and had this weight thing all figured out but I was so wrong. Once I gave in and ate a crouton I blew back up in record time and ended up even fatter than before.

I knew I couldn't live the rest of my life without eating bread so I spent years trying to find something that would work for me. I don't want to sound cocky but think I've really got it figured out this time and pray that I will never again have to buy fat clothes.

Anyway, back to the story of the "goal" pants ....

I knew I was wearing these particular pants when I was at my lowest weight back then and I know I'm about 20 pounds heavier right now but thought I would try the pants on just to see how much farther I had to go to fit into them. Imagine my surprise when I not only got them past my thighs but was able to button and zip them with absolutely no struggle. They weren't even tight, I had room to spare and there was absolutely no muffin top. How is that possible? How could I fit into these pants when I still had 20 pounds to lose to get to where I was back then?

Even though the scale says I weigh more now than I did then, I think I'm significantly smaller but heavier. Does that even make sense? I have been working my ass off at the gym and know that I am firmer and stronger than I ever have been.

What's your theory? Do you think it makes sense? Do you think it's all because I've been exercising and toning or do you have another theory? I would love to hear your opinion about how I can fit into these pants and still have 20 pounds to lose.

Time to fill up another bag ...

Feeling the Burn ...

I'm back! I didn't really go anywhere but haven't been spending much time in front of the computer. I'm going to make an effort to update more often and let you know how things are going.

I'm so happy to be able to tell you that I've been feeling absolutely unstoppable lately. I don't know whether it's the endorphin high or I'm just finally feeling good in my own skin but I love it. I struggled for soooo long and when I look back I wonder why. Why did I abuse my body for so many years?


We've been getting hit here in the northeast with one snowstorm after another so I've been getting lots of extra shoveling workouts. We just got ANOTHER 8-10" here in Boston. You know I love the snow but it makes me crazy when we have more snow in Boston than we have in the mountains in Vermont.

The last big storm we had I spent almost two hours shoveling, went to cardio kickboxing, attended my first ever yoga class (WOW!!), hiked around the city in the snow and then came back home and shoveled some more. Another day I jumped through hoops just to get to my kickboxing class. I have so much energy lately and have been finding it hard to sit still long enough to type up an update.

I'm still losing at a snail's pace but I'm still losing. It took me over a year to go from a morbidly obese BMI to merely overweight and now I'm about 20 pounds away from being "Normal." I don't want to jinx anything but I haven't had the slightest gain since September. Some weeks I stayed the same or only lost 0.1 or 0.2 pounds but I'm still going in the right direction and it feels FANTASTIC.

Time to get out there and shovel the latest 8-10" gift from Mother Nature and then get my ass kicked. I can't wait!

If I could give anyone who is struggling once piece of advice it would be "DON'T GIVE UP!" It won't happen overnight but it will happen if you keep working at it and don't give up. You can do it!

Cardio Kickboxing Kicked My Ass

WOW! I had a blast at my first cardio kickboxing class. My friend belongs to Women's Fitness of Boston so she took me as her guest (thanks Kathy!). It was a blast. There is no way I would have ever made it through that class a year ago. I'm not the most graceful gazelle in the herd so it took me a while to get the moves down but I didn't make too much of a fool of myself. Two days later, my ass and hips are still sore, must have been all those squats, lunges and kicks.


If you live in the Boston area, the gym is running a special trial 3 week membership for $21. I already have my Planet Fitness membership but the don't offer any classes. I figured I can go into the city twice a week for kickboxing and it works out to less than $5 a class. Totally worth it, even on my limited unemployment income.


The instructor was amazing. I can't wait 'til next Tuesday to get my ass kicked again.

Happy New Year! and Hot 100 Finale

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Here it is - a clean slate, time to look forward to all the possibilities a new year brings. Do you start each new year by making the same ol' resolutions? How many people wait for the first Monday of the new year to start a new weight loss plan, quit smoking or start working on other goals they really should be working towards every single day of the year? The first Monday of the year holds no magic but I have no doubt the gym will be more crowded than usual. I wonder how many of them will still be there come the first Monday in February.

I love getting a new calendar and imagining what the new year has in store for me. Will I find my dream job? Will I reach my weight loss goals? Will I finally learn how to maintain? It's all possible. I feel blessed and so thankful to have had this time off from the daily grind to learn how to let go of the soul sucking stress I was constantly carrying around. I'm learning how to stop eating my feelings and stuffing down my emotions.



Since getting laid off in November 2009 I have lost a total of 70.9 pounds and feel better than I have in years, decades even. Not working really seems to agree with me. Unfortunately, unless I have the winning lottery ticket in my pocket, I will have to go back to work soon and that scares the crap out of me. I'm worried about falling back into bad habits and not making the time to workout. Just like Ms. O'Hara, I'm not going to think about that now, I'll think about that tomorrow....



Right now it's time for the Hot 100 Finale:

Goal #1 - Lose An Additional 15 Pounds by December 31st

Challenge Starting Weight (9/23/10): 194.2 lbs.
Week 1: -1.3 lbs.
Week 2: -0.9 lbs.
Week 3: -2.4 lbs.
Week 4: -4.0 lbs.
Week 5: -1.1 lbs.
Week 6: -2.6 lbs.
Week 7: --------
Week 8: -2.2 lbs.
Week 9: -4.0 lbs.
Week 10: -0.9 lbs.
Week 11: -0.2 lbs.
Week 12: -3.1 lbs.
Week 13: -------
Week 14: -0.4 lbs.
Hot 100 Challenge Weight Loss: 23.1 lbs.
(Total Weight Lost Since 11/2009: 70.9 pounds)
(Total Weight Lost in 2010: 59.1 pounds)



YES! I thought this was going to be the hardest goal to reach but it turned out to be the easiest. I'm amazed that there wasn't a single week of the challenge that I posted a gain. That's not to say my weight didn't tick up here and there during the week but it just so happened that each Friday I weighed less than the previous week. I still feel like pinching myself because I can't believe I lost weight over the holidays. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and miracles do happen.


Goal #2 - Couch to 5K

As you know, the C25K program has been a bit of a thorn in my side but I got a new app on my smartphone so I'm going to test out. Maybe I just need better tunes...such optimism in the new year, huh?

Goal #3 - Build More Muscles


I'm not sure how much muscle I've built up in the past 14 weeks but I don't dread going into the weight room anymore so that is definite progress.


Thanks to Steve for hosting the Hot 100 Challenge. It certainly kept me motivated to stay on track and finish out 2010 on a positive note. I had a blast meeting all my fellow hotties and hope to continue this journey with you.



Wishing you a very healthy and Happy New Year!