Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Stressed Out


Work: I've been working at the same law firm for over 9 years but I don't think I'll make it to my 10th anniversary. I have one boss who is really cool, we work great together and he is one of the few lawyers I respect. He is really the only reason why I've stayed there so long. If I didn't work for him I would have left many years ago. The firm politics and my other boss drive me insane. My office manager hasn't spoken to me since May because I complained about some crazy woman who was defacing the ladies' room (you wouldn't want to know the disgusting details). After months of complaints by all the other females in the office, they eventually fired the crazy lady after an extreme incident.

I shouldn't feel like an outsider at a place I've worked for 9 years. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends there but there are so many others who have stabbed me in the back at one time or another over the years. People don't believe me when I tell stories about what goes on in my office. I think it is sad that I wish my work weeks away for those 2 weekend days I don't have to go to that place and see most of those people.

When I start sending resumes out I sometimes think the devil you know is better than the one you don't. I'm afraid I'll just end up in another crazy hell hole even worse. I am such a creature of habit and hate the thought of starting a new job and having to prove myself ('cause they won't know how good I am). I'm thinking of changing careers but I can't afford to take a cut in pay right now.

... which leads right into my ...

Stress at Home: The love of my life ("B") has been out of work for over a year. Although we are not married we have been together forever. Over the past 20+ years I have always been the one with the steady paycheck. Some days I just want to scream. I bust my ass at work all day and I come home to dishes in the sink, the laundry piled high and the house a mess (and we don't have any kids). He'll offer to pick me up from the train station when I get out of work so we can go to the market together to get dinner. We got in a big fight last night because I said I wanted him to go to the market during the day so I wouldn't have to go after work. It would be nice if he cooked dinner once in a while or did some house work, don't ya think? I don't think I'm asking too much.

I know the job market is tough in his field because of the economy, and the fact that there are so many illegals willing to work for so much less. He can't do the physically demanding jobs he used to do. He doesn't even have health insurance which is now required for all Massachusetts residents. How do you afford health insurance when you aren't making any money? He has been self-employed or worked as a subcontractor most of his life so he has no 401K or retirement plan and he doesn't seem worried about it. He is in his mid 40s and it scares me to think what could happen. How is he going to afford to retire? We can't both live off of my retirement and there certainly won't be any social security by the time I am ready to collect it.

So, between work and home (and my usual family dramas) I've been living with a constant high level stress for an extended period of time and from what "they" say it is almost impossible to lose weight and you are likely to gain weight when you are stressed out. I'm not looking for an excuse for why I'm fat but the stress in my life certainly isn't helping. B really needs to get a job, get some health insurance, start saving for retirement and get off his ass and I really need a vacation!

Sorry for the depressing post - I should be posting about what I'm thankful for but I just needed to vent a little.

I am very thankful I have my health, a guy who loves me, family and friends, a decent paying job, a roof over my head and food on the table. I know there are people who are suffering and I don't have it so bad but if I can't complain about my problems who will?

And now it's the HOLIDAYS (HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY)!

I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and a stress-free holiday season.


  1. Sending a huge hug your way. I understand your post about your Guy. My husband got laid off at the end of January and still hasn't found another job. We have been without insurance since then so I know what you mean about not being able to afford insurance if you are unemployed. He has been on countless interviews and still nothing. To make matters worse, I lost my independent contractor job in October so we are in big time denial about the state of our finances and job search mode but there are days when it seems he doesn't even care if he finds a job. Thankfully we were able to get some super deals on Black Friday to replace our broken TV and other things to resell on ebay. All I can say is hang in there and hopefully 2008 will be better for both of us ((((HUGS))))

  2. I hear you... I feel that way about my job now. And while I dont want to imagine the bathroom situation, I also have a nasty bathroom situation at my work too so your post made me smile. But I know how you feel, while you dont like where you are at, the feeling of having to start over again at somewhere new sometimes is just exhausting. Part of that is fear of a change as well. so I wish you luck with everything. I am sure it will all work itself out in its own way.

  3. Wow, that IS stressful at home!!
    I can't imagine having to come home from work and then continue doing all of the housework. That would drive me bananas!


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