Let's be honest - you have to admit you have a problem before you can fix it, right? I know I have a serious weight problem and as much as I want to fix it I just seem to be floundering around and yo-yoing between fat and not so fat. I've had issues with my weight since I heard the first "thunder thigh" comment when I was at a healthy weight around 25 years ago.
It is about time I come clean about my weight. Since I started blogging I've been reluctant to put the numbers out there because I'm so embarrassed I let my weight climb back up to an all time high. So many bloggers out there who are over 300 pounds or higher get down to this weight and feel amazing but when it is your highest weight it feels horrible. I don't want to be miserable every time I look in the mirror, I don't want to cry every morning because I can't fit into any of my clothes, I don't want to have clothes ranging in size from a 9 to 18, I don't want to go through the rest of my life struggling to get out of this fat suit.
I have so much respect and admiration for all of the contestants on shows like the Biggest Loser who get on a giant scale in front of the world in a sports bra and lycra shorts. I can hardly look at pictures of myself fully clothed. Pictures is the next step but for now, here's the facts:
Finally, without further delay, my current weight is . . .
226 pounds is what I've been lugging around for the better part of the past year. I remember holding steady around 200 pounds after my last big loss and fighting desperately not go over that 200 pound mark. Obviously, I lost that battle. I've gotten as low as 145 in my adult life and felt pretty good there although the weight charts say I should be in the 130's for my height. I'm barely 5'4" so I don't have a lot of height to carry all the extra fat cells. I'd be happy to get under 150 and see how I feel. I've been at this high weight for too long; I'm determined to get it off permanently this time. I never want to see this number (or, gasp, higher) ever again.
I want to come here and be accountable for my food intake including any binges which I'm working very hard to control and, hopefully, eliminate from my life. I don't want this to become a blog of "this is what I ate today" but I'm going to come clean about the foods that were "off plan" and try to figure out why I'm binging. Again, it is all about figuring out why I'm fat.
I'm renewing my commitment to lose weight. I'm going to weigh in on Mondays to keep myself honest about how hard I'm working. I don't want to go back to getting on the scale multiple times of day because I learned that I don't need to stress over every 1 pound fluctuation. 2008 is the year I finally figure it out. It is time for me to get on the treadmill and start sweating off some of this fat.