I'm slowly recovering from the sugar induced haze of the holidays. Holy Christmas Cookies Batman!
I'm happy to say there wasn't any drama this year since my Mommy Dearest decided to stay in Florida. My brother and his husband, my father and stepmonster, and my sister and sister's girlfriend all met up with various family members out of state so B and I didn't have to rush around from place to place which made for a very mellow holiday.
It was pretty low-key with all of B's family together at his brother's house in NH. My niece and nephews are teenagers now so there wasn't that magic of watching Christmas through a child's eye but we had a joyous stressless holiday. We ate way too much food (my sister-in-law makes the best cheese danish that I indulge in once a year), we opened lots of presents and envelopes full of green (B's parents are way too generous), we lost money on the scratch ticket swap like we do every year (I keep saying I'm not going to do it anymore), I learned all sorts of Wii tricks from the nephews (I work up a sweat playing my Wii and my nephews barely flick their wrists around) and we all ate way too many delicious sugary holiday treats. It was a blast and I'm glad it's over.
I have to confess that I had to make the dessert I was bringing to Christmas dinner twice because I stupidly made it a day early and then proceeded to eat half the tray. This toffee cracker stuff is similar to the recipe I used but I warn you, it is like crack and I don't want you to lose yourself in its sugary, buttery, chocolaty goodness. I couldn't stop myself from eating it. MMMmmmm.... A small piece here and a small piece there and next thing you know half the container was gone. How did that happen? I made my version of it with health bar pieces and another batch with vanilla chocolate instead of the semi-sweet chocolate morsels and it was amazing but seriously addictive. I should never make it again because I just can't be trusted around it, just like chocolate covered pretzels. It must be something with the salt and chocolate that flicks the switches in my head to auto-pilot and I lose the ability to stop myself from eating more and more.
Like an alcoholic can't just have "one" drink, I can't just have "one" of almost anything with sugar. I'll have a tiny sliver of cake and then have another tiny sliver and another instead of just having a normal slice from the start. Those 100 calorie packs of sweets don't help me because I'll end up eating the whole box. I know I have issues and I'm working on them.
I know I should be able to enjoy anything in moderation but what if I can't control it? Do I need to avoid it forever or will I eventually learn how to control myself with certain trigger foods? I'm glad all the crack is gone and I got back to my green monster for breakfast today. Fruit is a much better and healthier sugar high for me. It doesn't spike my blood sugar the way white cane sugar does.
Luckily I've been going to the gym faithfully and burning lots of calories on the elliptical and dreadmill so the damage on the scale from all the sugar has been minimal. I didn't lose any weight over the holidays but I didn't gain any either and that is something I don't think has ever happened before. Usually the holidays are an all out food fest and a free pass to gain the usual 5-10 pounds because it's the holidays, right? No, this year is different. 2010 is going to be different. I am different.
Julie over at Smoke Yourself Thin recently wrote a post about whether or not sugar can be as addictive as heroin or cigarettes and for me, I think it is. When I have it I always want more. I can't seem to get enough no matter how much I have and I can't refuse it when it's offered to me. I feel the physical effects of the sugar in my body and a haze come over my mind after a big sugar binge.
I'm detoxing now.
What do you think? Can you be addicted to certain foods? If so, what are you addicted to?