Wednesday, October 22, 2008

One of THOSE days ....

I thought my day couldn't get any worse after I realized I lost my T-pass (train/ bus prepaid monthly pass) and MP3 player ... boy, was I wrong.

I left for work a few minutes late and as I was running for the bus I realized I didn't have my T-pass that I keep in a badge holder along with my MP3 player so I let the bus pass and ran back up (3 flights of stairs) to my apartment to look for it. I looked everywhere, dumped my bag on the kitchen table and searched every pocket I had on yesterday - no luck. So now I was out $59 for the pass and $?? for the music and player.

With that stellar start I just knew it was going to be one of those days. I had no idea how much worse it was going to get. The ax came down at work and the pink slips went flying around. I still have a job but will be working for different people (who I don't particularly like) instead of the two great guys I work for now. Two of my good friends and another woman who I don't know very well got "laid off" due to "restructuring." Both of my good friends have worked for the firm 10+ years and one of them is a single mother. It isn't bad enough that they laid them off but they gave them absolutely no notice and only 4 weeks severance.

I realize these are tough economic times but how can you do that to someone after 10 years ... tell them at 3:00 to pack their bags and be out by 5:00. We all got 10 year bonuses just months ago.

My head hurts. I am so irritated and frustrated because I am unable to control my emotions when having tough conversations with my boss (or anyone). I am extremely sensitive (always have been) to the point where my eyes start tearing up and my throat constricts to the point I can't even speak. There are times I want to scream and yell but can't seem to keep it together long enough to do that and just cry like a baby instead. WTF!! I'm over 40 years old and I still haven't learned how to control my emotions enough to have a difficult conversation. I'm continually rendered moot by my sensitivity and raw emotions. I hate that. Anyone have any suggestions on how to stop the blubbering like an idiot? It is ridiculous.

I have a feeling we haven't seen the end to the cuts and changes. I almost wish they had laid me off instead because that would have given me the kick in the *ss to get the hell out of there and find another job. I think I will be actively looking now because I am not happy at all about my new position.

I did some research on-line and there isn't much out there for me. I'm on the edge just waiting for one of the heartless bastards to push me over. UGGHH!!!


  1. what a day! sorry to hear you had a bad one...I know the feeling. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

  2. I don't even know what to say without sounding trite so I'll just say try to stay positive (actually that sounds pretty trite!)

    We all have days like that and the world right now isn't making it any easier. I always remember that somewhere someone has things so much worse so I try to be thankful and hope for things to get better.

    Hey, I'm "following" you so that's a good thing, right?

  3. Heather: Thanks. I know you've been having a hard time at work too. It's too bad we all have to work for a living, huh?

    Manuela: I know things could be worse so I'm trying to stay positive and tell myself this is my incentive to get out of this place.

    Yes! You following me is the best thing that has happened to me today! Thanks!

  4. I cry very easily also. I have let it stop me from doing so many things that might be helpful to me. I totally understand what you are saying. I am not sure it has to do with controlling emotions though. Maybe it is because I try to have too much control of my emotions?


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