Happy Birthday to Me ...

42 years ago today I came into this world fighting. I was a twin but, unfortunately, the other baby didn't make it through the delivery.

Yikes! 42!!! I can't believe I'm 42 and still fighting with my body.

I don't think I've really looked forward to my birthday since I turned 21. After you hit all the milestones the only thing the day of your birth marks is getting another year older. I suppose the alternative of not having a birthday is worse so I guess I should just enjoy it.

I started this blog not long after I turned 40 and thought I would certainly be at my goal by now. Here we are 2 years later and I've lost a total of 8 pounds. Well, I've lost much more but gained it back over and over again. You know the drill, right? I need to get off this damn roller coaster I've been riding for so long.

So, I'm still fat and now I'm another year older. I know it isn't going to get any easier and the longer it takes me to get a grip on things the harder it's going to get. I'm sick of struggling and just want to get to a place where I can be happy with what I see in the mirror. I don't want to be "skinny" I just want to feel good when I look in the mirror, I want my clothes to fit, I want to feel strong and know I'm living a healthy life.

I've been on vacation this week and had planned on going to the gym every day and planned on really pushing myself to a higher level but I've been sick (coughing and wheezing) since early Sunday morning so it hasn't happened. I couldn't even get out of bed Monday let alone get to the gym. UGGH! I'm feeling a bit better today so I'm going to try to get a workout in but I don't think I can push it too much with such diminished lung capacity. I'll probably just take a walk and try to do some light weights. Every little bit helps, right?

Well, I'm not giving up the fight. The fat will lose this battle. I am making a vow that I will not be writing a similar post on my 43rd birthday. I'm not getting any younger.