Thursday, August 20, 2009

How bad do you want it?

I ask myself this question every single day. If losing weight is so important to me, why do I keep screwing it up?

I spend every day trying to make the right choices and doing what I have to do to get this weight off but after a long stressful day at the office my defenses are down and I end up stuffing my face with foods that are NOT on my healthy eating plan. Maybe I should start going to sleep as soon as I get home from work. Either that or have my jaw wired shut after dinner.

This has got to stop. I can't keep torturing myself like this. Any suggestions on how to stop acting like a spoiled child and start acting like I really want to lose weight? I really really want it BAD!


  1. Stress is one of the main reasons I also sabotage myself too and while it would be nice to say that you could just avoid stress, there will always be stress. for me, it helped that I wouldnt get angry or upset at myself for the mistakes I made. I found that I would put myself in a downward spiral any time I got mad about eating and then I would do it again and get mad at myself and the cycle would continue. it will happen - you will make mistakes. I do on a weekly basis sometimes. but it does not always deter you or ruin your weight loss. no one is perfect, and I think when you can accept that you will make mistakes when it comes to weight loss, maybe you can let go of the guilt and anger and move on and find that most of the time, its ok and doesnt even matter. as long as you keep trying and do the best you can most other times, you will be fine.

  2. I've been trying to do other things to relieve stress...mainly crying, so that one is out. However, I take small walks when I feel that binge pressure building and honestly, it's the only way I seem to get through it all.

    I hope you find your answer, sweetie.

  3. Oh, have I ever lived this cycle! It's so frustrating!

    A few rather simplistic suggestions based on some things that worked for me (which may not be your cuppa, of course):
    1) I ask myself before every single meal or snack, "How is this helping me?" When it's an apple, the answer is easy, but when it's a brownie...well, it can be kind of hard to justify.
    2) I don't keep unhealthy snacks in the house. At all. It helps that I live alone, of course, but I'm wondering if it's possible for you to eliminate them from your pantry.
    3) I walk or exercise to relieve stress. That's been one of the biggest changes for me. I don't head for the drive through; I go straight to the gym. What do you find relieves stress best for you?
    4) My latest trick is to shut my kitchen door. It can be opened with a push of a fingertip, but it makes me think before I do it.

    You CAN beat this demon. You're already on the right track in recognizing that stress is causing the problem!

  4. It's because the food is an immediate, easy satisfier, while losing weight is a long-term, intense but ultimately more satisfying experience.
    Make a plan for those nights when you come home and want to eat. What can you do instead? Do you have a hobby you could indulge? A friend you can call? Have some healthy snacks ready and waiting for you - cut up veggies and fruit, some hummus maybe.
    Brush your teeth when you get home or right after dinner - I always think twice about eating something once I've brushed, cause I'm too lazy to brush again!

  5. A few things that may help you out:
    -try a sugar-free warm drink like Cafe Vienna. I find it satisfies my sweet craving and I only have to give up 30 cals. It stops me from hitting the cookies.
    -make yourself drink 24ozs of water when you get a food craving. I bet when you are done with the water you won't want whatever it was that you were thinking about.
    -as Hilly and Cammy have suggested, take a walk. It helps relieve stress and it's sneaky exercise.

    We all have ups and downs, but it's what you do after you go down that really matters. I recently lost nearly 4lbs, but put it all back on in one weekend of binging. I have pulled myself up and started back on my path to being fit not fat. You can too:)

  6. A few suggestions (I've lost over 100 pounds and kept it off).

    Think of food as fuel. Don't set yourself up for failure by having foods in your house that aren't nutritious. Throw out the crap so that you can't eat it. This means everything that might temp you. (For awhile, for me, I had only oatmeal to "binge" on).

    Read books about how other people have lost and maintained their weightloss. These people know what they are doing.

    Join a group like O.A. or FoodAddictsAnonymous

    Admit that you are a food addict. You are using food for things other than to fuel your bod and you are obviously getting more out of the food than you're getting out of weighing less. (I can kind of hear Dr. Phil in the background saying something about a payoff when you eat.

    Strive for consciousness. When you are going nutty and feel the need to eat, ask yourself "Why am I eating?" "Am I hungry? or am "I trying to stuff my feelings?"

    I have a huge list of books I could recommend. But maybe this is enough stuff for one comment.

  7. I swear I'm not paid for this - but Weight Watchers has really helped me with that. I love that you compare it to being a spoiled brat because that's EXACTLY what I feel like I do. The second I'm told I can't have something, it's all I want and I WILL get it. The program you follow with weight watchers doesn't say you can't have anything, you'll just "pay" for it. You get the points for the day and if you decide you just cannot live without that peice of cake, you can have it, you just will pay a LOT of your points for it and have to find something REALLY healthy (and low in points) later in the day.

    It's helped me wonders because I know I can eat whatever I want, I just also know I have to stay in a certain point range so as much as I want that cake, I then ask myself, is it worth eating nothing but plain salads for the next 3 days?

    (p.s. my answer to that is almost always NO - as I am not nearly a big enough fan of salad for that)

  8. Exercise is a great stress buster/distracter, even walking. Or else, eat fruit.

  9. Not a clothes hanger eh? LOL... OK Boss!
    As for your problem.. I have it too. BUGGER.
    Just think about how awful you felt when you were even bigger... and how you don't want to go back to that? Sometimes that works for me.

  10. I drink.

    Not, not THAT kind of drinking - I'd try it, but there's just too many calories in hard liquor.

    I drink tea with milk (even in the summer), water, more tea, a little diet pop, more water, more tea. It keeps my mouth busy and gives my belly a bit of fullness.

    But really, no matter what works for each of us who are leaving comments, you need to find your own sense of peace within your body and happiness inside yourself.

    Its the only thing that truly works. Keep at it, you'll get there!

  11. Heather: I'm still trying and glad I have you for inspiration knowning how much work stress you have too.

    Hilly: I cry easily especially when stressed. It does help but the walks would be more beneficial for weight loss.

    Cammy: Thanks for the great suggestions. I actually don't have unhealthy snacks in the house but it doesn't stop me from binging on toast or cereal. A binge is a binge even if it isn't with cake, cookies and chips.

    Jenn: I've tried the teeth brushing thing but still end up eating even though it tastes nasty with the toothpaste.

    Buttercup: Thanks. I think I should just run out of the house and walk to get away from the urge to eat and burn some calories. I wish I could be addicted to exercise instead of food.

    POD: Congrats on your loss. It is great to see all the successes out there. I binge on healthy foods too. I read everything on weight loss but would love any recommendations you have. I admit it. Hello, I'm MB and I am a food addict.

    Angie: Even WW can't fix the disconnect in my head when I simultaneously think about losing weight as I stuff food down my throat.

    JustJulieBean: I've even binged on fruit. Granted, it isn't as bad as binging on flour/sugar stuff it still isn't healthy.

    Chris H: I know how easy it is to cover that equipment up and have to dust it instead of use it ;)
    Unfortunately, I'm the heaviest I've ever been so the only way to go has to be down.

    Crazy Legs: You might be onto something. Most drunks I've met are thin ;) Only kidding, the alcohol would only break down my resolve and I would eat more to soak it all up.

    Thanks to all of you for the constant support and encouragement. It really does help.

  12. What creates the spark that ignites the bonfire that makes it really start happening? I suspect it's different for different people.

    For me, it was a weekend alone, right after another crazy binge and another horrible feeling of frustration and disappointment. I got mad at myself and drew a line in the sand.

    I've had setbacks, for sure, but since that day four months ago, I've never doubted that I was on my way. Some days are harder than others, but this is not harder than any of us can bear.

    Hope you find your mojo; I'm rootin' for ya.

  13. It can be such a frustrating struggle sometimes! It seemed like you were in my head there for a minute...Writing about it can only help so kudos to you on that!

  14. I often ask myself this question! I was so determined to lose weight after my 1st child I did I can barely lose 10lbs!!I need to ask myself this too---how bad do you really want it?

  15. OMG ! I am the exact same way ! When I am feeling stressed after frustrating day at work ( that would be more than most days !) I feel like I "deserve" to eat what I want. I feel this way the most on Friday nights after putting up with BS for 5 days straight ! The way I stopped the madddness of eating like crazy at night ( and this isn't for everyone) is go to bed ! I workout really early in the morning, so I go to bed between 7:30 and 8:00. I eat around 5:30. Since I workout early I am usually ready for sleep by that time. Once I got into this routine the night time eating stopped, and I finally started seeing some results. I just traded night time eating for a good nights sleep and a workout.

    I've read all of the Outlander series, but I am 3 books behind now. There is a new one coming out in September. I love this series and yes the one I am reading now is good. (The Firey Cross). I've never known anyone who's read them, believe it or not !

  16. MB,
    I had to just be honest with myself with what I was willing to do and give up and what I wasn't. My goal is to be good 80% of the time and live with the 20% I'm not. Make SMALL changes and don't think big, it will overwhelm you every time. Before I make a 'bad' decision I ask my self if it's something I really want and is it worth it? If the answer is 'no' I walk away, but if the answer is 'yes' then I do it and just accept the consequences of my decision. I also started keeping a food journal. I never believed in them before, but for the weight loss challenge we had at work we had to do it. I was absolutely surprised at how much I enjoyed doing it, so much that now 2 months after the challenge is over I still have a journal. I'm not super strict with it, I don't track calories or anything like that, but I made a commitment to myself to make sure I write every bite that goes in my mouth. When you know you have to write it down it really makes you think twice. I also joined SparkPeople and I can't tell you how much that has inspired me. It's taken over a year, but I'm now down 40 lbs (I probably still have 100 to go), but when I put my suit on the other day (which was a size smaller than what I'd been wearing) and THAT was too big, I knew I wanted it more than ever. YOU CAN DO THIS!! No one else can tell you when or how, but when it clicks you'll know it I promise. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up so much.

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  18. Sounds like the record I have been playing for a long time. I don't know why we can be so strong in so many ways and then fail at something we all want so much.

    One trick I have found is absolutely cleansing my house of unhealthy temptations. That way if I fall into eating too much due to stress (which happens so often you cannot believe it) at least the damage is controlled. Better to eat several bowel of healthy cereal than the same amount of chips or chocolate right?

  19. great post! I am feeling the exact same way!

    I don't have any solid answers for you I'm afraid. The only strategy I have is to plan, plan, plan! Pinpoint the exact circumstances where you fail, work out why, then come up with a plan of attack.

    Then do I as do and try, try, try again! lol

    When I ask myself 'How bad do you want it?' my response is usually 'So bad I can practically taste it' :)

    Hang in there! And never give up! We can do this!


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