Monday, August 31, 2009

One is Never Enough

I'm a prime example of that potato chip commercial that says "I bet you can't have just one." I don't have an off switch and can never stop at one of anything. Those of us that suffer with a compulsive binge eating disorder there is no such thing as "just one." No matter how much I try to convince myself I will only have one or a single serving, I just can't stop myself from going back for more and more until I'm sick to my stomach.

Don't ever wait ten minutes to ask me for a lifesaver out of a pack I just bought because they will probably be gone by then so I don't buy them anymore. I inevitably end up eating one after another. Some people use gum as a trick to keep from eating but I will chew piece after piece until the entire package is gone. I'll start out by portioning out a handful of crackers or other snack but will keep going back for handful after handful until I've emptied the box.

The only way to stop this compulsive eating is to not start in the first place. Once I start eating I don't know how to shut it off even if I feel full and my stomach hurts. It is in my head and I'm not sure how to shut it off to stop it. The times I have been successful with weight loss have been when I completely avoid those simple carbs that never seem to fill me up no matter how much I eat. I think the simple carbs are a trigger for me to just keep eating more and more and never feel like it is enough.

This mentality is the reason I can't keep snack foods in my house. I can't handle the temptation and I can never have just one. I need to learn how to control this compulsive eating because no amount of time sweating on the treadmill will make up for the out of control binges.


  1. I have the same problem and it makes me sick, to my stomach and with myself. It is so horrid to do that, but I also start with a few then devour everything. I have to eat a good meal right before I go to the store or I will buy crap and eat it all right then and there when I get home. Even if every time I do this I feel so ill I want to puke and every damn time I think, again, "Why, WHY did I do this to myself?"

    I have to absolutely NOT trust myself at home with any even remotely tempting snack because I will eventually binge.

    The way I have mostly dealt with this recently is simply not keeping anything that I really like to just munch on around. This really helps because I don't binge on healthy things!!! :-) Or I start to eat too much and at least it is less damage at the end than if I ate the same amount of bad stuff.

    I still do it though, when I am stressed or upset, or just really hungry sometimes, and I have had to take some drastic measures for out of the home moments. I try not to carry cash because I have a MALE friend look over my credit card and debit card statements and store recipes every week and scold me if I buy fast/junk food. This has shamed me in to not eating fast/junk food for many months now.

    Hang in there MB, you can do it and trust me, there are many of us here who are all suffering the same struggles and we don't even know why - how can we as women be so strong in so many ways and so weak at the same time?

  2. I can totally relate to this post. So much so that I have to keep certain foods out of my house. I have to protect myself from me.
    I don't know how that ever even starts. I mean, who teaches us this shit?

    (I'm sure as hell not taking responsibility for it.)

  3. Hi! I just found your blog because someone commented on mine and said you wrote about the same thing I did today! I totally get the "betcha can't eat just one" thing, in fact that was the title of my blog post today. Good luck! I'm going to start reading your blog...this whole blogging community is helping me a lot.

    I'm sure I'll be commenting hit the nail on the head with this post. Leslie

  4. I hear you. That's why I never bake, and never make desserts. BUT my kids are VERY good in the kitchen (baking), and I feel wrong to stop an activity they love so much. It's hard to say no when somthing smells like a little piece of heaven.

    This is something I just have to work harder on in the future. Thanks for a great post.

  5. Oh I hear you!
    Got that sort of addiction down to an art!
    I could buy a roll of cookies and eat them all while checking tests. I didn't even realise I was eating them all! All of a sudden there wouldn't be anymore cookies!
    But......I think I've kind of kicked the habbit. I can now open a bag of crisps and only eat half. I can even leave the other half for the next day! I'm soooo proud of myself.
    But like you say, I just shouldn't even buy it! That way I won't eat it! Pretty simple.
    But do you also hear those yummie foods call to you from the supermarket aisles? ....'eat me eat me, I'm really really really won't regret it'...

    I'm not falling for it anymore. At least not every time.

  6. That's a really good description, and an excellent solution. We just have to "not start." I'm getting much better at that!

  7. there are certain foods i know i can't stop eating. the biggest one oddly is cereal. i can't even keep cereal in the house, at all.

  8. Lady Vea: I binge on whatever I have which is why I've recently started shopping at a small market daily to keep from having too much food in the house.

    POD: Isn't it always the mother's fault? I guess at 40+ I need to take a little responsibility for it but I don't wanna, I blame my mother.

    Leslie: Welcome! I'm glad you found me and I hope we can both find a way to get over our bad habits and get healthy. I'll be checking up on you too.

    A: Luckily I have no interest in baking but that doesn't stop me from buying what others make. Oh yeah, warm fresh baked bread is like a little piece of heaven.

    Me: I hear the calls and tend to yell back (in my head) "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT THE F*** UP." If I breakdown and buy some snacks I always do it by making a deal with myself that I will only eat so much at a time but then end up breaking my deal to myself.

    Lyn: I know you struggle with the same things. You are an inspiration to me to keep working on it. I hope we both can get control over the binge eating and get to live the healthy life we want to live.

    Robin: I shouldn't have cereal in my house either. Even the healthy stuff isn't so healthy when you eat an entire box in 2 days.


No Sugar Coating Allowed