Frustrated

Back in January 2008 I worked up the courage to divulge my weight here on this blog. I've been tempted to delete that post ever since but forced myself to keep it on there so I could look back and see how far I had come once I got to my weight loss goal. Even though I ranted and raved about how much I wanted and needed to lose weight I ended up gaining an additional 16 pounds to reach my highest weight ever in November 2009. Talk about frustration.

Every other time I lost a significant amount of weight I did it by severely changing my diet and hardly doing any regular exercise. I've always been active even at my highest weight but playing on the weekends didn't make up for sitting at a desk for 40+ hours, lazing around and stuffing my face all week.

In the 80's I spent almost a year eating nothing but JC food out of a box to lose 50+ pounds. I couldn't continue to live on that stuff although I've heard that the JC food out of a box has gotten much better since then. I wanted to be able to eat what everyone else was eating and didn't want to live on cardboard boxed food forever.

In the 90's I lost over 60 pounds by avoiding all "white" foods. I still can't believe I was able to do this for so long. I love all those white foods which are so bad for me and give me nothing in return but more fat on my a$$. I amazed myself by staying away from the white bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, flour and sugar but I couldn't keep it up forever. I stayed on my own modified version of Atkins/South Beach and the weight melted off but I couldn't live a life without bread and pasta. I knew my Italian Grandma must have been doing flips in her grave. Life is not worth living if you can never eat a piece of bread or pasta again. This wasn't something I could sustain for a lifetime. It worked until I accidentally ate a crouton and blew right back up like a balloon hooked up to a bottle of helium.

By the time I got laid off from my daily dose of high stress in November 2009 I was bursting at my pant seams at my highest weight ever. I was so miserable and depressed about my work situation it was hard to stay focused on anything else. I binged and grazed all day long to keep my emotions and frustrations inside instead of lashing out and telling those abusers how I really felt because I thought keeping my job was more important. I paid the price in pounds.

I've been away from the corporate hell hole for almost 4 months now and have lost an average of 5 pounds a month. Five measly pounds a month is far from rapid weight loss and I wish it were falling off quicker but I'm happy it's coming off consistently.

I have been religiously attending the gym and getting my sweat on like a good little bunny. I've been rocking that elliptical machine in 60 minute intervals an average of 5 days a week and recently started throwing some weights around. I've been playing on my Wii and wearing a pedometer and striving to get those 10,000+ steps a day. It's not coming off fast but it is coming off.

I'd like to pick up this turtle pace so I'm going to tackle my diet in addition to cranking it up at the gym. There's a novel idea, huh? Combine diet and regular exercise to get results. I think I've heard a few people say that's the key to the weight loss mystery. I don't know why it has always been one or the other for me.

I haven't had any severe binge episodes since I escaped the stressful work situation but I haven't really gotten super strict with my diet either. I've basically been eating what I want in moderation but if I want to speed up the process I'm going to have to sacrifice a little and learn to stop eating at night, cut down the weekend snacking and turn down the fattening foods in social situations where I tend to get in trouble.

I'm not discouraged but I am frustrated that I'm not losing at least 2 pounds a week. It's time for me to put the two pieces of the puzzle together and get this game on the fast(er) track.