Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Frustrated

Back in January 2008 I worked up the courage to divulge my weight here on this blog. I've been tempted to delete that post ever since but forced myself to keep it on there so I could look back and see how far I had come once I got to my weight loss goal. Even though I ranted and raved about how much I wanted and needed to lose weight I ended up gaining an additional 16 pounds to reach my highest weight ever in November 2009. Talk about frustration.

Every other time I lost a significant amount of weight I did it by severely changing my diet and hardly doing any regular exercise. I've always been active even at my highest weight but playing on the weekends didn't make up for sitting at a desk for 40+ hours, lazing around and stuffing my face all week.

In the 80's I spent almost a year eating nothing but JC food out of a box to lose 50+ pounds. I couldn't continue to live on that stuff although I've heard that the JC food out of a box has gotten much better since then. I wanted to be able to eat what everyone else was eating and didn't want to live on cardboard boxed food forever.

In the 90's I lost over 60 pounds by avoiding all "white" foods. I still can't believe I was able to do this for so long. I love all those white foods which are so bad for me and give me nothing in return but more fat on my a$$. I amazed myself by staying away from the white bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, flour and sugar but I couldn't keep it up forever. I stayed on my own modified version of Atkins/South Beach and the weight melted off but I couldn't live a life without bread and pasta. I knew my Italian Grandma must have been doing flips in her grave. Life is not worth living if you can never eat a piece of bread or pasta again. This wasn't something I could sustain for a lifetime. It worked until I accidentally ate a crouton and blew right back up like a balloon hooked up to a bottle of helium.

By the time I got laid off from my daily dose of high stress in November 2009 I was bursting at my pant seams at my highest weight ever. I was so miserable and depressed about my work situation it was hard to stay focused on anything else. I binged and grazed all day long to keep my emotions and frustrations inside instead of lashing out and telling those abusers how I really felt because I thought keeping my job was more important. I paid the price in pounds.

I've been away from the corporate hell hole for almost 4 months now and have lost an average of 5 pounds a month. Five measly pounds a month is far from rapid weight loss and I wish it were falling off quicker but I'm happy it's coming off consistently.

I have been religiously attending the gym and getting my sweat on like a good little bunny. I've been rocking that elliptical machine in 60 minute intervals an average of 5 days a week and recently started throwing some weights around. I've been playing on my Wii and wearing a pedometer and striving to get those 10,000+ steps a day. It's not coming off fast but it is coming off.

I'd like to pick up this turtle pace so I'm going to tackle my diet in addition to cranking it up at the gym. There's a novel idea, huh? Combine diet and regular exercise to get results. I think I've heard a few people say that's the key to the weight loss mystery. I don't know why it has always been one or the other for me.
I haven't had any severe binge episodes since I escaped the stressful work situation but I haven't really gotten super strict with my diet either. I've basically been eating what I want in moderation but if I want to speed up the process I'm going to have to sacrifice a little and learn to stop eating at night, cut down the weekend snacking and turn down the fattening foods in social situations where I tend to get in trouble.

I'm not discouraged but I am frustrated that I'm not losing at least 2 pounds a week. It's time for me to put the two pieces of the puzzle together and get this game on the fast(er) track.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Get Moving

Just in case you haven't already read the most recent post over at *Bitch Cakes*about how exercising and being active changed her life, I wanted to tell you to get moving and go read it here.

Excellent post, huh? I especially love these words:

"...people may assume it's the weight loss that has changed my life, I give the activity far more credit for the new person I have become. My changes are less about "the number on the scale" or the size of my clothes, they are about how *I* changed - from the inside out. I finally feel GREAT. I finally realize that I'm pretty awesome. I am finally HAPPY. And that's all because of exercise...You'll see results when you see results...life is forever...being healthy should be your focus forever. So who cares how long it takes?"

Brilliant, right?

Of course I'd like to be thin and healthy right now (actually yesterday, no, twenty years ago) but I'm learning to just trust the process and not be so hung up on the numbers on the scale. One day it may be up and the next day it may be down but the trick is to be consistent with the exercise and healthy eating.

Could this be the missing link I've been looking for? I'm doing my best to keep my focus on being active and eating healthy. It's time I stop agonizing over how slow and how much weight I need to lose and trust the process. It WILL happen.

It's not a race, it's life. Live it to the fullest and get moving.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Holiday? What Holiday?

I hope everyone here in the states had a great time celebrating the 4th of July, everyone else I hope you had a good weekend.

I'm sad to say we didn't get to see any fireworks, we didn't go to any bbq's and we didn't do anything fun. We're building an addition on our camp so all we did was work on it all weekend. It was backbreaking work. The good news is I got an excellent workout lugging 2x6x10's, lifting plywood, bending, stretching and running around being the gofer. I was totally exhausted and fell into a dead sleep as soon as we got home last night until about 4:00 in the morning when I woke up with a sore throat and a wheezing cough.

I'm can't say I'm surprised since I'm on vacation this week and I had planned on getting the house organized and hitting the gym every single day. It's just my luck that something always happens when I try to take a vacation. Today was a total bust. I couldn't get out of bed and I can't take a deep breath without hacking. First day of vacation wasted. Let's hope I can get over this and enjoy the rest of the week. My vacations are good times, yeah, good times.

B got tickets to the Red Sox game tomorrow night so that should be fun if I can breathe. Of course, we're supposed to have severe thunderstorms tomorrow but hopefully it will hold off until after the game.

I think that black cloud found me again.

Monday, August 20, 2007

No Binge

I guess it it progress that I didn't binge this weekend. I do need to learn how to handle social situations that revolve around food. It is hard to resist the pressure to just try a bite of this and it won't hurt to have a little bit of that. I know I'll feel disgusted with myself if I give into the temptations but it is depressing just watching everyone else enjoy themselves and not worry about how many calories or fat grams are in this or that delicious looking treat. I don't want to have to worry about every little thing but I need to eat sensibly most of the time and not "treat" myself everyday.

I am going to try to focus on getting more exercise and increasing my endurance. All my previous weight loss attempts, whether they were successful or not, revolved around the food. The more I restricted my food the more binge episodes I would have. It is a vicious cycle and I have to get out of it. I'm hoping that if I concentrate on working out regularly that the food will follow. I obviously need to pay attention to both but I can't always be obsessed with every morsel that gets past my lips. It is a slow start but hopefully slow and steady will finally win the race.

I'm not going to obsess about the numbers on the scale or whether I put too much dressing on my salad. I want to change my lifestyle and finally feel good about myself. I want to figure out how to have a healthy relationship with food. I want to like what I see in the mirror.

I always wonder if I didn't start that first diet whether I would still be wearing a size 10 and looking like an average girl.