Admitted Again ....

B went back to the hospital Tuesday morning and was admitted AGAIN. They did another CT scan and found that the infection had gotten worse because they released him too early the last time and he was unable to keep the antibiotics down at home.

I've been doing nothing more than working and going to the hospital every day. My house is a disaster because I've barely had time to do a load of laundry. By the time I get home I'm falling into bed only to toss and turn.

B seemed to be getting better yesterday and they were talking about discharging him today but his headache came back with a vengeance last night and he was miserable when I saw him tonight. He barely said two words to me the whole time I was there because his head was pounding so bad. They had taken out his IV because they wanted to make sure he would be able to take his medication orally but now he is nauseous and seems to be getting worse not better. I'm so frustrated and don't understand why he isn't getting better. I've never heard of someone having a sinus infection this bad or for this long.

If things weren't bad enough, B's Dad fell yesterday and broke 6 ribs and may have broken a couple of bones in his back so he is in the hospital now too. He is in a different hospital so I haven't seen him yet to get the full story of what happened.

When things like this happen it forces you to put things in perspective. I haven't even thought about my weight in the past two weeks. It just isn't important considering everything else going on and wouldn't you know I lost a couple of pounds.

Let the Sun Shine In ....

I can't shake the feeling there has been an ominous black cloud hanging over my head, hunting me down through the brightest rays of sunshine like a dedicated and determined stalker. So many of my vacations over the years have been ruined by sickness, death or some sort of traumatizing experience. The percentage of ruined vacations is staggering. My boss keeps telling me I should just take a few days here and there and not plan a whole week off because something always happens. I think he may have ulterior motives in saying that but he may have a point.

My latest vacation didn't start out bad even though I did turn another year older which gets harder and harder every year. I certainly don't feel 41 although my mind's age and my body's age are vastly different. Each birthday I think of Jimmy Buffett's song Growing Older But Not Up ...

....

I'm growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead
....
Now don't get me wrong
This is not a sad song
Just events that I have happened to witness
And time takes its toll as we head for the poll
And no one dies from physical fitness
So what the hell, we'll take it right to the end
As the days grow more complicated the nightlife still wins
....

B and I spent the week after the 4th at the camp without any fireworks except a few bottle rockets but we had bright stars, clear weather and a private party out at the bonfire every night. We had a relaxing week even though we had to come back to the city for various appointments. We made it back to VT and had another bonfire blazing by the time our friends arrived on Friday night. B is usually the life of the party telling stories and being the entertainer but he had such a vicious headache early in the day and it just got worse and worse. By Saturday, he was miserable with sinus pressure and a pounding headache.

B was really hurting when we left for the hot air balloon festival in Stowe which was about an 1 1/2 hour drive. He knows how much I love going every year to take pictures so he forced himself to come with us but it was a bad decision. We brought chairs and B didn't move from them for the few hours we were at the festival. Another group of friends were camping in Stowe so we met up with them but B could barely keep his head up. His pain only got worse and he finally went to the emergency room when we got back home on Monday.

After being on vacation for a week and having a doctor's appointment Monday morning I ended up at the hospital with B when I was supposed to be returning to the office. The ER gave him some fluids for dehydration and sent him home with antibiotics for sinusitis and a bunch of pain killers.

Things only got worse and he ended up back at the hospital late Monday night when they admitted him. He couldn't eat or even keep down the pain medication with a sip of water. He spent the week in the hospital being pumped with fluids, morphine and other heavy duty pain killers, a steroid nasal spray and who knows what else. They discharged him Thursday night with a handful of drugs and said the infection will just have to run its course.

My kitchen counter looks like a pharmacy and I'm exhausted from worrying, spending every night at the hospital and then not being able to sleep without him when I got home. Now I'm even more exhausted from playing nurse all night.

I'm praying he turns the corner soon. Aside from when he broke his back I don't think I've ever seen him in this much pain. I feel helpless because there is really nothing I can do to make him feel better except serve him and keep him medicated.

I wish this weather pattern would change because I'm sick of looking up and seeing that big black cloud shadowing me.

I hope everyone is having a better time enjoying good health, the warm weather, cookouts, picnics, pool parties, concerts and the usual summertime festivities. I like to plan my next vacation when I get back from vacation so I have something to look forward to but maybe I should consider scheduling a few long weekends and see if I can make it through them without the storm clouds.

I need a vacation from my vacation.

A Broken Heart is Better Than a Broken Back

This will certainly be a Valentines Day to remember. After a very long wait in a room full of hurting bitchy people waiting hours to see the back specialist we now know the bad news - B broke his back (compressed fracture at T-12). The good news is he will not need surgery but won't even start to feel better for at least 4-6 weeks.


B says he knows what he's going to feel like when he's 100 yrs. old. I feel so bad for him and wish I could take away his pain. B is not a very good patient but is hurting severely so I can't blame him for being a grouch. He can't do a damn thing without assistance. I have him hopped up on percs and valium now (thanks doc) so hopefully he can get some pain relief and sleep.


B's snowmobile season is definitely over and I probably won't go riding the rest of the year without him. Anyone want to bet that this will end up being the best snowmobile season in decades now that we can't ride?


I'm going to start calling him Murphy. You know, Murphy as in Murphy's Law. My boss says I should stop taking time off because almost every time I take a vacation or have a day off something happens. If it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all. Ok, enough of the pity party. I'm sorry to be such a bummer on this Valentines Day, Pre-Presidents Day weekend, spring training reporting Day.


I'd rather be at the office job I hate than playing nurse to the man I love. I don't think I'm getting any hot Valentine love today. I hope you all enjoy this Hallmark holiday whether you celebrate with a significant other or celebrate some self-love.

Achy-Breaky Valentines Day Wishes