I was out to dinner celebrating Father's Day recently and my step monster kept looking over at me saying "you look so different" over and over and over again. It was like she had never seen me thin before or didn't remember what I looked like when I was thin and didn't recognize this latest version of me.
When I look in the mirror I still see me. Thinner, yes; less bloated, yes; happier, yes - but it's still me. Same blue eyes, same hair, same smile, same pasty white skin, same heart, same mind, same soul, it's all still me. I'm still the same but so different too.
Having lost and gained significant amounts of weight over my lifetime I have been able to see firsthand how differently people treat you when you are obese versus "normal." It's almost as if the bigger I got the less they saw me. I was hiding right there in plain sight but it was like I was invisible to some people. I could point out a number of people who I believe have severe fat phobia and probably think fat is contagious because they barely spoke to me or gave me the time of day when I was at my heaviest but want to be best buddies now. Then there are those who are able to see through the exterior package to the inside because they have treated me the same no matter what size my pants, they see ME. I like to think I see people for who they really are, not what size they are.
If you lost or gained 100+ pounds do you think everyone would treat you the same? Would you treat yourself the same?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
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Your... step monster?
ReplyDeleteOoops...must have been a Freudian typo. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, but at my heaviest, I still didn't really see it - because the weight gain was like 10 pounds a year - it wasn't until my stomach touched my steering wheel that I finally took notice.
ReplyDeleteBut I know why I gained weight - my daughters father rejected us after she was born - her father has seen her only once and he maybe gave me $500 in child support in 18 years!
I knew if I was fat, no one would want me and I couldn't be hurt again. It wasn't until I figured that out that I was able to lose the weight back in 1999 - 70 pounds! And the funny thing, Hannah was 8 when I lost the weight, and she never remembered me being fat - she said "I loved you because you were my Mom!"
Happy Friday!
This post is sadly so true. NO, I would not treat myself the same. I really do NOT treat myself very well when I am feeling fat and badly about myself - like I do right now. When I was working out and felt better about myself I treated myself better. I have put 30 of the 32 pounds I lost back on and i hate myself for it. GREAT GREAT post. I am so happy you are thinner and have this under control.
ReplyDeleteha! step monster.. hee!
Have a Pretty day!
Kristin
Your post is sad but true. People definitely treat fat individuals with less respect...if they see them at all! And of course, most fat people have nothing but disdain, blame and hatred for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI only recently came across your blog, and I find it quite interesting in that you don't take the traditional "diet perfectly" attitude that I see in most of the weight-o-sphere.
I'll be returning to sample more of your "fare"!
I felt/feel the same way. I am slowly getting used to what I see in the mirror. After 65 lbs I still saw the old me only a smaller version. People definately treat thin people differently than obese people. I saw your before/after pics on the side and you should be so proud of yourself!
ReplyDeleteJennifer
http://wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com/
I only know the obese side of this story, unfortunately. I have lost a maximum of 32 pounds previously (right before my wedding and have since gained it back + 2 pounds) and although I don't think people treated me differently, I myself had a better self-image and in turn, treated myself better - both physically and mentally. I just restarted a new weight loss journey for myself and am hoping that your mojo rubs off of me via the web! I started reading your blog recently and have been so inspired! Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteRochelle
http://buttfatblog.blogspot.com/
I would be completely irritated by your step-mother's repetitive comment. I'm not entirely sure why, but it comes off insensitive, like she is shocked that you actually managed to lose your weight. But this is one of my areas to work on, I read into things way too much.
ReplyDelete