I spent so many years fighting with myself. I couldn't understand how I kept getting fatter and fatter when I THOUGHT about losing weight ALL THE TIME. I couldn't understand why I couldn't just do it. I knew how to do it, I did it a number of times but always regained before I even reached my goal.
If losing weight was so damn important to me, if it consumed my thoughts every single day, why wasn't I getting it done? I used to ask myself "how bad do you really want it?" I wanted to lose weight, I needed to lose weight, I couldn't stand being fat for another minute but then I would dive into a bag of chocolate covered pretzels after eating lunch just to get through the afternoon at work. I'd stuff my emotions down with food, I'd eat long after the point of being full, I'd stuff myself 'til I was sick and couldn't eat another bite and then go back for more an hour later. Why do we do that?
When I would get home from work, stressed out and miserable, I would eat dinner and veg out in front of the tv. As much as I told myself I needed to workout, I just didn't have the energy to do anything. I would promise myself that I would get up early to workout the next day. Tomorrow would be the day I would get serious. I would set my alarm to get up but when it went off at an ungodly hour I would hit the snooze button over and over again until I stumbled out of bed feeling miserable and dreading the day ahead. Rinse, lather, repeat. It's true, the rich get richer and the fat get fatter.
I often wonder what came first, the depression or the fat. Was I fat because I was depressed or was I depressed because I was fat? I'm still not sure. I know I am much happier now that I've taken control of my health. I actually look forward to going to the gym and I absolutely love my cardio kickboxing classes. I feel strong and powerful even though I'm just punching and kicking air. I think it's important to find something you like to do. Go for a walk, take a bike ride, grab a hula hoop, dance around the living room, chase the kids around the house, whatever, just move more.
I know how hard it is to get out of the rut, to stop thinking about losing weight and actually do something to make it happen but I promise you it will be worth it. There is a magic bullet to weight loss but it's not an easy pill to swallow. You have to sweat regularly and you have to stop eating excessive amounts of processed crappy food. It really is that easy (easy to understand but so HARD to put into practice).
How bad do you really want it? Are you ready to fight for it? You can do it. All you have to do is, you know, DO IT!
I want to THANK YOU all for encouraging me through my years of struggles and joining me on this journey. It's nice to know no matter where we are on this journey there are others out there just like us. Keep fighting for it.
As Christina says ....
'Cause if it wasn't for all
That you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
....
I am a fighter
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gonna stop
(I ain't gonna stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough
....
Have you had enough yet? Are you ready to fight for yourself, for your health, for your quality of life? Time to put up your dukes and fight for it. You are worth it! Ding, Ding! Get in the ring!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
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So how did you eventually get out of it? What were the first steps you took to get to where you are now? Because those first 3 paragraphs? Are eerily accurate in describing where I am right this second. It's like trying to claw your way out of a hole, but the more you claw, the deeper the whole gets, ya know? What finally gave you that spark that made you "just do it'? And could you loan me some spark for awhile? :)
ReplyDeleteJill, I admit I got lucky. I got a pink slip after suffering for over 11 years at a miserable job and getting away from the daily stress. Instead of wallowing in self-pity because of my job loss I immediately joined the gym and started working out an hour a day. Those first few days, weeks, months were HARD, really hard and I often felt like it was impossible but I just kept going. Little by little I was able to control the binge eating and the more I worked out and ate better the more I wanted to work out and eat better. I feel blessed and so thankful to have had the time to make it happen and I'm really nervous about going back to work and being able to keep up with my healthy habits. I'm not sure I would have been able to do it if I were still in that miserable place. I wish I could send you the spark. How about a lighter or a match? Keep clawing your way and you'll get out of that hole.
ReplyDeleteI felt like I was reading my story there in the beginning! I am ready to fight, I just need to get myself to fight hard enough to exercise along with everything! I'm working on it and people like you are a great inspiration! You are doing awesome:-)
ReplyDeleteGreat analogy and wonderful post. If weight loss was easy, there would be no overweight people. But it's so worth the fight and the effort - isn't it?
ReplyDeleteDepression and weight problems is something I understand. I can say for me it was weight gain and then depression. I battled the weight gain (hypothyroidism) for a bit and finally gave in to depression.
ReplyDeleteThe battle doesn't stop once you reach goal weight. It still takes effort for a lot of us. Yes, it's worth it!
Congratulations on your successes!
ReplyDeleteThis is really an inspirational post. I'm glad you made your comment about if I even think about my underwear. hahahaha So I came over here to comment and read this. And your before and after photos are fantastic. You have literally and figuratively busted your own ass. ;-)
ReplyDelete