Out With the Old ...

I've had this picture on my sidebar for years but I think it's about time to take it down. Deleting the picture is my way of taking a hammer to it without the cool metal smashing sounds. I was always too ashamed to display the cold hard numbers so I just used this "too much" scale as a reminder that I wasn't where I wanted to be. I should look for one that says "just right" now. I may not be at goal just yet but I'm at the point where I'll be content as long as I never go above the weight I am right now. I'm determined to never venture into the 150s again, that is going to be my line in the sand.

I think I'm going to replace the above picture with this one:

I wish I had taken progress photos regularly but I had a habit of deleting every bad picture of myself and they were all bad when I was racing my way up the scale to top out at 242 pounds. When I started this blog shortly after my 40th birthday in 2007 I weighed approximately 225 and somehow managed to gain 17 pounds the first two years even though I spent almost every waking moment thinking about how much I wanted to lose weight. I've learned that thinking about it just gets you fatter.

I'm sure nobody in their right mind would want to follow in my footsteps and take almost 4 years (only a year and a half of real effort) to get close to goal but I am proof that it can happen if you don't give up. You will get there no matter how long it takes if you keep trying things until you find what works for you. What worked for me is the anti-diet diet, the slow and steady mentality and lots of sweat. Oh, and losing my job and having the time to go to the gym everyday certainly helped. I'm not sure it would have ever happened if I didn't get laid off which is why I believe everything happens for a reason. It ended up being such a blessing. I think this may be my reward for putting up with all that b.s. for so long.

If what you're doing now isn't working, try something different. Nothing is off limits in my diet because I know as soon as you tell me I can't have something it's the only thing I want. Here's an example: DO NOT THINK ABOUT ELEPHANTS! So, what are you thinking about right now? Elephants? right? See?

If I give myself permission to have absolutely anything I want in moderation it loses its hold on me. It's no longer a temptation. I can have if I really want it. It's just food and most of the time I've tasted whatever it is before. Do I really want it? or do I want to make a better choice? You'd be surprised how often you'll make the better choice if you just give yourself permission to have what you really want (in moderation).

If you hate the elliptical, try the bike. If you hate the gym, take a walk around the block. If you want to feel strong, take a kickboxing class (I LOVE IT!!!). If you want to relax, try yoga. If you want to dance, try zumba. If you want to feel pain in every single muscle of your body, try tabata. If you can't get out of the house do some sit ups or squats throughout the day, throw some punches, do a few jumping jacks, anything to get you moving. Whatever it takes to make it work for you is what you need to find. Keep looking and don't stop until you find it.

It's time to get rid of old habits that aren't working for you and replace them with new and better ones. What small change can you make today to get you one small step closer to where you want to be? Out with the old and in with the new and improved version of you.

5 Pound Fluke

I knew the scale was just messing with me last Friday. I was so excited to see that I lost almost 5 pounds but I just knew it wasn't a real loss and I was right. I got it all back on Monday. I guess my scale was just a little late with its April Fools joke.

My back is feeling better so I went to the gym today for the first time in over a week. I limited my time on the elliptical to 20 minutes, made sure to stretch before and after and then did the weight circuit. I was a bit tender but not in pain.

Time to get those next 5 pounds off for real. Don't pay so much attention to the scale. It doesn't know what the hell it's saying half the time.

Scales are Stupid

I'm always surprised by how much stock we all put in the numbers on the scale. The scale doesn't know how hard I've been working out, how much muscle mass I've gained, where I am in my cycle, how much salt I ate the night before, how much water I drank or any of the other factors that make up "the number."

I know I've allowed "the number" to have a big affect how I feel about myself on any particular day. I can feel righteous when I see a loss and fall into despair when I see a gain. I've even been tempted to throw in the towel on this journey if I've done everything right and the stupid scale shows I've gained instead of lost. It's time to stop giving the scale the power to throw me off my game.

Why do we continue to give that piece of metal so much power? I haven't been to the gym since Monday because I pulled a muscle in my back (yes, the doctor agreed it was most likely muscle soreness) but when I got on the scale this morning I was rewarded with a 4.8 pound loss for the week. Huh? That is the most I've lost in a single week this year even though I've worked out harder and longer and ate better on other weeks. I spent the past two days lying flat on my back and not doing the least bit of activity and lost 4.8 pounds. Does that mean I should spend more time lying on my back than in the gym if I want to lose weight? Of course not. It just means the scale doesn't know everything and we should stop giving it so much credit.

I think it's about time we learn the lesson that the scale doesn't know it all. It's just one small way to measure ourselves but we shouldn't let it have so much power over our minds, our self confidence and our actions.

Take the number the scale spits out with a grain of salt. If you're working hard and doing the right things, keep doing it no matter what the scale says. Know you are on the right track and don't let a stupid hunk of metal tell you how to feel.

How much power do you give the scale?

It's Monday!

It's the first Monday of the new year and I have to admit I was surprised I didn't see too many new faces at the gym. I figured the gym would be packed with all those people who pay for a yearly membership in January only to go a few times and then waste the rest of their membership year once the flames of the New Year fire wears off. I got a good 60 minutes on the elliptical and then came home and played on the Wii for a while.

I've been trying to stay off the scale since I started going to the gym regularly because I didn't want to get discouraged if the pounds weren't coming off as quickly as I would like considering all the work I've been doing. I decided to hop on the evil scale today because I figured I should know where I'm starting off in the New Year. I'm hoping 2010 is the year I "finally figure it out" and get this weight off for good.

I'm happy to say I've lost 10 pounds since I joined the gym a little over a month ago. So, in just over a month I lost a total of 10 pounds which isn't too bad considering most people gain 7-10 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year. I'm sure I would have lost more if I didn't go nuts eating all that crack and other holiday goodies. I think 10 pounds a month is a good goal to strive towards.

I'm going to try not to get hung up on the numbers and just continue to focus on going to the gym, getting a good workout and eating relatively healthy 90% of the time. I'm thinking I'll try to limit getting on the scale to once a month so I can track my progress but not get all crazy about the numbers. It should be about how I feel not what that evil piece of metal tells me, right?

How often do you weigh yourself? Does the number affect your mood?

That's the Spirit

I really don't know how I'm getting through each day without knowing whether my weight is up or down. How am is supposed to know if I should feel good for being down a pound or depressed 'cause I gained one? My daily mood has almost always been dictated by what the scale, in its cold metal menacing way, told me. It is a bit scary not knowing whether those few cookies or catered lunch did any damage. I'm going to continue my scale avoidance test until the 1st of the year and I hope it will be kind to me when I get back on.

I haven't been able to do any serious workouts this past week but I'm continuing to follow Savy's advice by doing at least 30 minutes each day of some sort of exercise. Unfortunately, I think all the dancing I did at my office *Holiday* party didn't make up for the open bar (we had an amazing bartender with a very heavy hand). I ate very little of the incredible, mouth watering gourmet food by taking pictures and having a blast on the dance floor.

Every year I dread going to the *Holiday* party but who I can't pass up the opportunity for free food, booze, gifts and the chance to get some incriminating photos of my co-workers and bosses. It it always fun to watch the *ssholes try to act human and be nice and there is always the few who appear to have never seen an open bar before. Why do people insist on getting sloppy drunk wasted at office parties when they know they will be totally embarrassed by their drunkin' behavior? I'm not saying people shouldn't have a good time but we're not with our friends or at a frat party. I guess I'm lucky that I know when I've reached my limit and I put down the vodka and start drinking water. There is a lot of pressure to continue drinking but I know if I have one more drink I'll be spinnin' in my bed later that night and I hate that. I wonder why I know when I've reached my alcohol limit but have no shut off limit when I'm binging on sugar.

I had the distinct pleasure of having to drunksit my office mate as she got sick all over the $800/night hotel room. I stayed with her (holding her hair, rubbing her back, getting her changed and reassuring her she was not going to die) until her husband got there to take over (he was not very happy). I didn't want to be there but couldn't leave her in that condition. It was very messy and smelled nasty ... ewww. After I turned over my drunksitting duties I went down to the lobby to find a dozen or so of my colleagues causing a scene. Everyone was swaying, knocking over glasses, and yelling like foul-mouthed drunkin sailors. It was entertaining to watch but I'm glad I won't be ashamed of myself when I go into the office on Tuesday.

Hope you all enjoy your holiday parties but try not to do anything you will regret in the morning. Save your best drunkin moments for your good friends. I did have a bit of a hangover but B and I got up very early to go to VT. We had to meet the insurance guy early Saturday morning so we could ride our snowmobiles on Sunday. I'm so excited we finally have snow on opening day and I've been getting a great workout shoveling too. Let is snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!

Cheers!

Broken Scale/Eviction Notice

My scale must be broken. It has been stuck in the same position for weeks and has not budged one iota. Maybe I should get a new digital scale that shows every fraction of a pound so I can see a loss no matter how negligible. I'd be happy with a tenth of a pound right now. I've been eating right and moving my ass but the scale refuses to move downward. WTF!

I'm probably retaining water or gaining muscle or whatever but when I work hard I want to see the results on the scale. I feel like the damn thing is mocking me. I think I heard it snickering at me this morning "I'm going to mess with your head." It is an evil appliance and I'm so tempted to hurl it right out the window. Why should it have the power to make me feel good or bad?

I know I shouldn't stress over the numbers on the scale. Eating right, exercising and living a healthy life should be enough of a reward but I want to see a lower number, dammit! I'm doing the right things so eventually my body will realize it has to give up its fight to keep the fat, right?

I realize muscle weighs more than fat and I know there are numerous reasons why I may not see a loss on the scale. I've screwed with my metabolism so severely over the years I have to work harder and harder each time I get serious about losing weight. My body has gotten very attached to all the fat it has been living with for so many years but it has to go now. The fat party is over. I'm hereby giving my fat an eviction notice. Hey Fat, "Get out and stay out! I can't live with you anymore. You are no good for me. Get out of my life. I hate you. You make me sick. You need to go far far away and never come back. Just go! Do you hear me?? Get out!!!"