Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Pipe Dreams?

I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever really figure out my issues with food. Will I ever be able to permanently get rid of these flabby rolls that have made a home on my 5'3" frame. Will I ever get to a point where I am comfortable with my body?

I'm so sick of the roller coaster ride, sick of denying myself foods I love, sick of giving in to the urges to binge and the post binge guilt, sick of losing a few pounds one week and gaining it back the next.

I've been struggling with my weight since I was 13 years old. When I was thin, I wasn't thin enough and would diet and lose and then gain it back plus some extra all the way up to my current all time high. I'm over 40 *gasp* and spent a lifetime screwing up my body. When will it stop?

I keep thinking the only way I can lose weight consistently is to completely get off the sugar/flour. It's so hard for me to commit to that (AGAIN) because it is so hard core and I always feel deprived but I know it works for me. My body doesn't know how to process that crap and it's obviously telling me that by holding onto all this flab.

Even when (not if) I lose the weight again I know can't stay away from that stuff forever so am I destined to repeat the lose/gain cycle for the rest of my life? Is it just a pipe dream to think I can get it right this time? I hope not. I can't give up the fight but I wonder if I will ever really win this war.


  1. I could have written this post... I just hope we have it figured out soon... and don't realise we are 86 and still fighting the 'war'!

  2. The fact that you're still here, still trying, tells me you WILL win the war. You'll fail from time to time (we humans do that), but every time you do, you learn and you build more success strategies.

    My money's on YOU.

  3. I dont think its a pipe dream at all. it may seem hard and you may be tempted to think, why would this time be any different? I used to think that way too, and Im glad that I didnt let it deter me because I actually did get where I wanted to be. I know you have it in you, and like the others are saying, you havent given up and are still posting, so I know you want this and will make it happen.

  4. I feel the same way, a lot of the time. We just have to keep on going, working on it, doing whatever we gotta do. It can get tedious but for me, getting off sugar really does make a huge difference in how I feel. For you too, I'm sure.

    Hang in there.

  5. You WILL win this one.

    We never know for sure and while we wonder we still have those daily decisions to make - what to eat, what not to eat, what exercises to do, what (not) to give in to and then to what extent you're gonna push yourself today. Every day is not easy I know... but hang in there!! You got all of us with you!!

    Fight on! Believe in yourself!! :>

  6. Chris: I know. It scares me to think I've already wasted decades trying to fight this battle. I hope we both figure it out before we're too old to enjoy it.

    Cammy: Thanks for being so supportive. I will never give up the fight and hope you don't lose the bet. ;)

    Heather: I do want it bad. I'm glad I can look at your accomplishments and know I can get there too.

    Lyn: I know sugar is a drug for me and I need to concentrate on getting off the cycle. I love reading your posts about binge eating and the strategies you have used to stop that pattern. It is great advice and I plan to follow in your footsteps.

    3 Mo. Challenge: I believe, I believe. Thanks for the support.


No Sugar Coating Allowed