OMG! OMG! OMG! I can't believe how freaked out I am about posting my pictures. I feel so exposed and as bare as if I walked out of the house stark naked. I couldn't stop thinking about it all day, how the pictures of my fatself are out there for the whole world to see. I lost track of how many times I almost deleted them but I didn't give in to the anxiety and fear.
I don't know why it makes me feel so weird. It isn't like people don't see how fat I am every day when they look at me but I think it has more to do with the fact that I don't want to look at myself at this weight. I don't want to look at those pictures. I love who I am but I hate all the extra packaging. I remember what is underneath all the fat and I long to see it again. I want to like what I see in pictures.
As much as it pains me to take a good long look at these pictures I think it will be a good thing in the long run. I wasn't always fat and I'm still pretty active so I think sometimes I kid myself into believing that I'm not that fat. I need to force myself to really see myself, see my fat and see what the world sees when they look at me. I don't want to cringe when I look at photos of myself. I want to like what I see in the mirror. I hope to see allot less of me in 60 days.
Anyone want to join the Missouri 60 and see what a difference you can make in 60 days? Check out the challenge details here and more here at the AntiJared.
Take a picture. Do you like what you see?
* Girl Before a Mirror (1932) Pablo Picasso (Spanish, 1882-1973)