Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
We lost one of our angels today. Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with anal cancer today at the age of 62. Every boy I grew up with lusted after Farrah and all the girls wanted that feathered back Farrah hair. I used to sleep with my hair in hard hot rollers so I would have that full bouncy Farrah hair. Mine wasn't as blond but it was close to her style and I loved it even though my head hurt from the curlers digging into my skull all night.
Farrah shot to stardom on the 70s hit Charlie's Angels. I thought Farrah was gorgeous but I always related more closely to Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith. I knew I was more like them than the blond bombshell Farrah was.
Farrah's longtime love, Ryan O'Neal, said "After a long and brave battle with cancer, our beloved Farrah has passed away. Although this is an extremely difficult time for her family and friends, we take comfort in the beautiful times that we shared with Farrah over the years and the knowledge that her life brought joy to so many people around the world." She did bring joy into many lives but it doesn't make it easier to see her go.
I could relate to Ryan and Farrah's reluctance to tie the knot all those years even if they were madly in love with each other. I think they intended to take that step in her final days but ran out of time. I hope they didn't have any regrets about that. It makes me think twice about my own situation.
Farrah was such a beautiful soul who didn't just cruise by on her good looks alone and she certainly could have done that. She fought to be taken seriously as an actress, she fought for her right to privacy and she fought the ultimate battle with cancer. She was an angel and a fighter. May she rest in peace."They" always say death comes in 3s. I was sad to hear of Ed McMahon's death earlier this week but didn't really shed any tears. He lived a good long life, right? The next thing I hear is that Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, went into cardiac arrest and died this afternoon at the age of 50. I grew up listening to Michael Jackson back when he was a handsome black man. The whiter he got the crazier he seemed to get but nobody can deny the guy had amazing talent. At least we will always have his music to remember him by.
The media is going crazy tripping over each other trying to get the exclusive interviews and lifetime stories. It sounds crazy but I wish Farrah and Michael didn't die on the same day so they could each get the full media spotlight for themselves.
Hey, Grim Reaper, enough already, that's 3, give it a rest. My heart goes out to the friends and family who lost their loved ones. Keep them alive in your happy memories.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
This week's theme is GREEN. I wanted to take pictures of a huge pile of money but couldn't find enough of it to make the picture work.
This sunflower didn't stay green for very long. Doesn't it look ready to burst?
If you want to join the Thematic Photographic fun, head over to written inc. and get the details. I don't know how he comes up with interesting new themes every week. It's inspiring to see the different ways people get creative with each week's theme.
Join in, have fun and go GREEN.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The weekend days fly by but Monday through Friday 9 to 5 seems like an eternity. I'm convinced my lunch hour is the shortest hour of the workday. Vacation days disappear in the blink of an eye. Is it just me?
I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I'll be 42 in a couple of weeks. It'll be two years since I started this blog and I haven't come close to reaching my goals. I've wasted so much time trying to get (back) into the body I want. Will it ever happen?
I struggle for weeks to lose a few pounds only to gain them back over a bad weekend. I don't want to live the second half of my life wishing and hoping I did it and having to live with the regret. That's no way to live. I need to lose it before I run out of time.
We're not getting any younger.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
When I was 15 wearing a size 7 and weighing around 125 pounds I thought I was fat. I wasn't. I had a smokin' hot body. I would really appreciate that body if I had it today.
When I got my drivers license at age 16 I put on a few pounds because I wasn't walking or biking to get where I wanted to go. I probably weighed around 130 pounds and wore a size 9. I thought I was fat. I wasn't. I'd be happy to be 130 now.
Every year I would try new diets and lose a few pounds only to gain more and more. I was shocked when I hit 140 pounds and had to jump to a size 10-12. I couldn't believe I was so close to 150 pounds. I tried to lose it by going on one diet after another and ended up gaining more in the long run. I thought I could get my weight under control. I wasn't going to allow myself to break 150 pounds because then I would be really FAT. It didn't take long to exceed that mark with another round of dieting and regaining.
Up, up and away to 160, 170, 180, 190 ... OMG. How can I weigh 190 pounds? I couldn't imagine being over 200 pounds. There was no way I was going to allow myself to reach the dreaded 200 pound mark. If I hit 200 pounds I would be FAT FAT.
I had to get serious, no more playing games. I obviously didn't know how to do it right and needed help. I paid lots of money for a lifetime membership at Jenny C., ate everything out of a cardboard box for months and months, got weighed in every week by a stranger and lost about 60 pounds. I didn't even get down to my goal weight before I started regaining again. I kept the weight off for about 5 whole minutes. Don't blink, you missed it.
Keeping up with the weight loss/regain pattern, I regained all the weight I lost plus a little more for good measure. I broke through the 200 pound mark and beyond. Even though I've always been active, I felt really FAT at over 200 pounds. How did I let this happen? How could I let myself get so FAT?
I couldn't take it anymore. About 6 years ago I jumped on the low carb (South Beach/modified Atkins) bandwagon hard core. I gave up all white carbs. I didn't have any sugar, flour, pasta, potatoes, bread, rice or starchy vegetables for over a YEAR. I don't know how I did it but I resisted all my favorite foods, got off the constant sugar drip and felt amazing as the weight melted off. I ate tons of salads, veggies, some fruits and lean protein and lost at least 60 pounds (AGAIN).
I thought I had it all figured out. I lost it on my own. I got off the sugar and felt amazing. I was never going to be fat again. WoooHoooo! Sixty pounds seems to be my limit before my body wants its fat back. Before I even got to my goal weight I started gaining it back AGAIN all the way up to where I am today - fat and miserable.
Even though I haven't been successful (yet) in all my years of dieting, I haven't given up. I'm fatter than I've ever been and I can't stand it anymore. I'm not done fighting the fat. I'm going to win this war. I spent the majority of my 20s and 30s being Fat. Fat, you may have taken the best years of my life but you are not going to take any more. Fat, you are going down. I'm going to kick your a$$.
Why couldn't I see I was fine (NOT FAT) the way I was before I started that first diet? How fat is FAT now? Where is my limit?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I know how to lose weight
I know I'm not doing (enough of) what I need to do to lose weight
I know I need to put in the hard work to get the results I want
I know I need to get up earlier to work out
I know I need to stop making excuses
I know I need to make my weight loss a priority in my life
I know I need to stop binging
I know I need to stop letting job stress get the better of me
I know I need to eat more fruits and vegetables
I know I need to stop eating junk food
I know losing weight doesn't make life perfect
I know I don't have to eat/drink just because everyone around me is eating/drinking
I know I should only eat when I'm hungry not when I'm bored, sad, stressed, happy, etc.
I know what it takes
I know I'm not getting any younger
I know it gets harder to lose weight the older I get
I know I don't want to be this fat anymore
I know I can do it
I know I will do it
I know ...
What do you know?