Small Change Challenge - Week 2

Right now I'm drinking a delicious Cup of Stanley instead of water because the BOSTON BRUINS won the STANLEY CUP!!! I don't remember the last time they brought the Stanley Cup to Boston since I was barely out of diapers then so it's very exciting. It was such a great series to watch and a good way to get your heart rate up without having to exercise or break a sweat. I'm looking forward to another celebratory parade here in Boston. I've been to all the other parades we've had for the Celtics, Red Sox and Patriots so this will be sweet. It's so much fun to be a sports fan in this town.

Ok, time to update my hydration status. I did a little better this week by getting those 100 ounces in THREE whole days. Again, I got at least 64 ounces in the other days but only finished off that third bottle a few times. Maybe by the time the challenge ends I'll have worked my way up to a whole week of 100 ounces.

I definitely notice how full I feel when I do get those 100 ounces down. There was a study that said people ate significantly less when they drank a glass of water at least 20 minutes before a meal. I believe it because with all that water sloshing around in my belly I feel full much quicker.

There is a downside to filling up on water though and that is the constant need to pee. I ran some errands after going to the gym yesterday and had to do the cross-legged pee-pee dance up the stairs and almost didn't make it without wetting myself. Speaking of wetting myself, another benefit I've noticed after losing 90+ pounds is that I don't leak when I sneeze or cough anymore. (Sorry, TMI?). Anyone else have/had that problem?

I've been trying to get as much water as possible down early in the day so I'm not up all night taking trips to the bathroom especially since I woke up the other night, stumbled to the bathroom and stubbed my toes on the door. Luckily I don't think I broke any of them but DAMN it hurt. It took a long time to get back to sleep with throbbing toes after swearing like a sailor. Ouch!

I'm looking forward to seeing how everyone else did with their Small Changes. Looks like I'm going to need to keep working on this one for the duration of the challenge. Just like my weight loss, it's a slow and steady process but every single small change adds up to something big.

Cheers!

Breaking Rules ...

I got a very thoughtful comment from the lovely Princess Dieter and wanted to answer her question and explain my reasons behind breaking some of the Slimmer this Summer Challenge rules.

Princess Dieter wrote:

As one of the coordinators, I figure as long as you update weekly, keep in touch with our peops, and meet some self-decided goals, sure, why not, stay, its fine. :)

I just never understand why someone who hates rules would even wanna join a challenge with a bunch of rules. How come? I'm just curious.

My perspective, for any who might care: I like the structure challenge rules provide to CHALLENGE my lazy tendencies. My life tends to be UNSTRUCTURED, so challenge rules are actually a beneficial change for my undisciplined self. :D Left to my own devices, entropy takes over.

I think one of y'all Brandoesque rebels should start the next series of challenges: We Ain't Got Not Stinkin' Rules Diet Challenge, Leather Jackets and Tattoos optional (of course, cause ain't no rules). hahaha I'd like to see how to set that one up!

Anyway, happy to have a maverick on board for the check ins. Happy week to us all...

Honestly, I really didn't set out to break any rules. When I first read Debbi's post about the challenge I mistakenly thought the goals she listed were her goals, not the rules for all of us to follow. I know how important counting calories and journaling can be for some weight loss warriors but I've tried it many times over the years and it just doesn't work for me.

If I've learned anything over 30 years of riding the dieting roller coaster it's that all diets will work but the weight will come right back if you don't find a way to make healthy living a part of your lifestyle. Losing weight is really hard but it's even harder to keep it off.

I lost over 60 pounds on a very popular commercial weight loss plan but couldn't deal with eating out of a cardboard box so I gained it all back plus more. I then lost over 60+ pounds on a modified Atkins plan but couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life not eating bread or pasta so as soon as I ate a crouton I blew back up again. Not sure what I was thinking because my better half is Italian and it's just not natural for us to live without bread or pasta. My poor Grandma must have been doing flips in her grave that year. I've tried all sorts of diets and different weight loss plans and would always lose weight but it always came back quicker than it came off.

I know this time is different. I've been making my own rules and not trying to fit in and conform to someone else's weight loss plan. This time I've been focusing on getting healthy and fit and not so much about losing "x" number of pounds in "x" number of days. Sure, I love seeing the numbers on the scale go down but I've been more focused on getting to the gym and getting my heart rate up, lifting weights and seeing my muscles become more defined, getting my ass kicked at TaeBox and feeling like I could take on the world and win.

I've been learning how to feel my emotions instead of trying to stuff them down with food. I haven't had a real binge in over a year although I have, on occasion, eaten more than I should have just because it tasted good and I wanted it. The difference now is I'm not beating myself up about it anymore. I ate it, I enjoyed it, I'll work it off, move on.

I'm learning that food is not love. Food does not change how people treat us. Food does not make life any less stressful. Food is just fuel and some fuel makes our engines run smoother and some fuel clogs everything up and makes us run like crap.

I think we all need to find the rules we can live with and make them work for us. We need to stop trying to fit into the mold society wants to put us in and just focus on feeling good in our own skin and working with what we have. What has worked for me may not work for you or anyone else. The weight hasn't come off quickly but it is coming off slow and steady and I'm ok with that. I believe if it ain't broke, don't try to fix it. So thanks for letting me continue with the challenge and letting me be me, it's all I know how to do.

I've lost over 90+ pounds without counting a single calorie or tracking my food and I'm going to continue to do what works for me. What's working for you?

Maverick out!

Late 101 Days of Summer Challenge Update

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date.... Ooops, looks like I missed the deadline. I don't know what is it with me these days. Not working and not having a schedule has taken a toll on my organizational skills. I wasn't sure what day I was supposed to update for Biz's 101 Days of Summer Challenge so I missed the deadline. I think I'm going to combine my updates for the Slimmer this Summer Challenge and the 101 Days of Summer Challenge since my goals are similar and it will be easier for me to remember to actually do it. Better late than never, right?

Here's how I did on my 101 Days of Summer Challenge Goals:

1. Get to goal FINALLY!

101 Days of Summer Challenge 2010 Starting Weight: 215 lbs.
101 Days of Summer Challenge 2010 End Weight: 198 lbs.
101 Days of Summer Challenge 2010 Total Loss: 17 lbs.

101 Days of Summer Challenge 2011 Starting Weight (6/1/11): 149.5 lbs.
Current Weight (6/10/11): 148.2 lbs.
101 Days of Summer Challenge 2011 Loss to Date: 1.3 lbs.

Starting Weight 11/2009: 242 lbs.
Current Weight (6/10/11): 148.2
Total Loss: 93.8 lbs.

I only have 7.2 pounds 'til I reach my goal of 101 pounds lost. Don't you think it would be fitting to reach my goal of 101 pounds lost during the 101 Days of Summer Challenge?

I actually dropped into a NORMAL BMI for a few seconds yesterday but jumped back up to OVERWEIGHT today. I didn't feel the difference and don't really care about the stupid BMI chart but it was fun to hear my Wii tell me I was NORMAL after listening to it tell me I was OBESE and OVERWEIGHT for so long. I should have waited 'til I was firmly planted in normal BMI territory before celebrating but I know I'll get back down and stay in the Normal range soon. If I've learned one thing over the past year and a half it's that my weight can fluctuate wildly from one day to the next but it doesn't necessarily mean I gained or lost actual fat, it's just what the stupid scale says at that particular moment.

2. WATER:

Most days I was able to choke down around 60-70 ounces so I didn't succeed in reaching those 100 ounces. I only drank 100 ounces of water on the two days last week that were over 90 degrees and humid. I've been keeping my water bottle filled and by my side but I have to remember to actually drink it.

3. C25K

I got in a few good sessions of the C25K last week and then tweaked my knee (again) at TaeBox on Tuesday so I have been sticking with the elliptical to keep the pressure of these ol' knees. I hope to be able to start Week 4 of the C25K program sometime this week if the knee stops acting up.

4. Start Maintenance

Not yet ....

It's dreary and rainy today so I doubt I'll get out for a walk. Hope the sun is shining where you are and you are enjoying the weekend. I'm off to check out how everyone else is doing as long as my internet connection doesn't crap out again.

Stay Cool....

Check it Out!

I'M NORMAL!!!!

Slimmer this Summer Challenge Update

It's summer in the city with temps in the 90s, crazy humidity and lots and lots of pollen. Not only am I dripping with sweat as soon as I dry off from the shower but my eyes are puffy and my nose is raw from sneezing constantly, it's not pretty. Thankfully this weekend the temps are supposed to drop into the sweet 60s. Ahhhh....

So, not only did I fail to mention that Mir a/k/a the Princess Dieter, was one of the masterminds behind the Slimmer this Summer ("StS") challenge along with Debbi, apparently I didn't pay close attention to all the rules. Ooops. I'm keeping my fingers crossed they won't kick me out for breaking a few of them. What can I say, I'm a bad girl that has issues with authority, likes to buck the system and likes to make my own rules as long as I'm not breaking any laws, well, maybe a few of the stupid laws.

These are the rules that the StS Challenge "require" and my reasons for breaking some of them. Oh, and if breaking the rules wasn't bad enough, I also need to redefine some of my initial goals because I decided not to take the job so some of my goals just don't apply right now.

1. Track food and water:

Over the years and the numerous diets I've been on I've tried my hand at tracking my food in a paper notebook, on SparkPeople, on my FitBit, on Twitter, in a Word document and a few other random places but it always made me feel like I was going to confession or I'm being judged. Of course, I know the only person doing the judging is me but I've always been my harshest critic so it can get pretty bad. Objection! Sustained! What were you thinking eating that? How could you eat so much of that? I know tracking is a great way to, well, track but it just doesn't work for me. I obsess and beat myself up over the things I shouldn't have eaten instead of just enjoying them and moving on. I've come this far without tracking so I'm not going to force myself to do it.

I have been keeping track of my water consumption and I'm definitely not getting enough. Drinking 100 ounces a day was the only goal I set for the Small Change Challenge and I didn't do very well the first week. I've only been getting around 60-70 ounces a day but the heat and humidity the past few days have been a great incentive to stay hydrated so I did chug all 100 ounces the past 2 days.

2. Keep calories around 1200-1400 a day/10K or less per week:

Counting calories, like tracking food, drives me nuts. How am I supposed to calculate everything? How many calories are in 3 french fries? How much milk did the girl at Dunkin Donuts put in my coffee? Am I estimating too high or too low? Should I round up or round down? Was that one serving or two? Who the hell knows? I've never been able to count calories or points but I can count how many scoops of ice cream there are in a large compared to the kiddie size so I just shoot for reasonable portions and make the best choices I can at any given moment.

3. Stay hydrated:

I am definitely working on this one. 60-70 ounces a day isn't bad but I'm going to concentrate on reaching that 100 ounces consistently.

4. Weigh in weekly:

When the challenge started on the 6th I weighed in at 151.2 and today I weighed in at 148.2 which would be a 3 pound loss. WooHoo! Wait, not so fast...my official weigh-in days have always been Friday and my weight on Friday the 3rd was 147.9 which means I gained .3 this week. I'm going to keep using my Friday weigh-ins for this challenge so I had a slight gain the first week. Looks like I'm going to need to kick it up a notch. If I learned anything over the past year and a half it's that my body weight can fluctuate wildly from one day to the next so I'm not worried about a .3 gain. I'm doing what I need to do so I know the results will come eventually.

5. Stick to your exercise goals:

Since I didn't go back to work this will be easier to stick to because I have the time to continue to workout on my regular schedule. I tweaked my knee (again) at TaeBox on Tuesday but was able to workout for an hour on the elliptical Wednesday and Thursday and today I went to Tabata. I also got a few miles of walking in almost everyday so I'm sticking to my exercise goals.

6. DO NOT QUIT:

I WILL NEVER GIVE UP! If I didn't give up after years of struggling and gaining I'm certainly not going to give up now. I'm so close to my goal I can almost taste it. Quitting is just not an option.

7. Keep blogging:

Hi, I'm here!

8. Encourage others:

I've been trying to get around to everyone's blog and comment but between spotty internet connections and blog reading from my phone that sometimes makes it impossible to comment, I haven't been able to get to everyone yet but I will. I'm so happy to have some new visitors here too. It's always fun to meet new friends and make new connections.

So, what do you think? Can I stay in the challenge even though I'm not following ALL the rules? Aren't some rules meant to be broken? Are you a rule breaker?

Hope you all have a great weekend! Stay cool.

Small Change Challenge - Week 1

Week One of the Small Change Challenge was a big ol' bust for me. I thought getting enough water would be one of the easiest of small changes to make but I guess sometimes the small changes are just as hard as the giant ones.

It's just water. What's so hard about staying hydrated? Just drink it, right? It's not like I have to walk a mile and pump it out of a well, I just have to go in the kitchen and turn on the faucet. Well, apparently there's more to it than that. It's not as easy as it looks, at least not for me.

I drink at least a 32 ounce bottle for every hour at the gym but the rest of the day is a struggle. I've been Diet Coke free for almost 3 years so I drink 8-10 ounces with my meals but other than that I'm not getting nearly enough.

Today was the first day all week I actually drank 100 ounces but only because it was so hot and humid ~ I really needed it. I always hated the heat and humidity but it's a little easier to deal with now that my thighs don't try to light on fire from all the friction.

Looks like I have to keep working on this small change until I get it down. It really shouldn't be so hard. I hope you're having more success with your small changes. I'll be checking in and cheering you on. I hope you're showing me how it's done. If you didn't join the challenge you can still make those small changes to add up to big results.

How much water do you drink? Do you get enough? Remember, hydrate or die.

Sizing Up!

Size is a matter of opinion depending on the designer. It seems the more expensive the clothes are the smaller number on the size label. I guess if you pay enough money they will tell you what you want to hear. You may be a size 12 but if you have enough cash you can fit into a size 8. This is why we now have sizes like "00." Soon they'll be coming out with negative sizes. How do you get less than zero?

I've been fitting comfortably in size 12s lately with a few stretchy 10s here and there. I've been dreaming about fitting in to single digit sizes for so long but knew that might be an unrealistic goal for me to be able to sustain. Imagine my surprise when I purchased a pair of size 10 jeans last week that were too big. How is that possible? They do have some stretch to them so that probably had something to do with it. They were not expensive so I don't think they run big but I could be wrong.

I wasn't able to try the jeans on at the store and was worried I wouldn't be able to get into them. I kept holding them up thinking "they look so small," "I'm never going to be able to get my ass into these," "look how tiny they are." I can't believe I'm going to return them for a SIZE 8!!! SIZE EIGHT!!! Me? SIZE EIGHT??? I guess the size doesn't really matter and we should concentrate on feeling good in our skin, not because of what's printed on the label. I remember some bloggers wrote over all the tags on their clothes "SIZE HEALTHY." That's what I've been striving for ~ Size Healthy.

Some days I need to just pinch myself. Am I dreaming? If I lose another 10 pounds will I really be a consistent SIZE EIGHT? Are clothes sized bigger now than years ago? Were the Size 8s I wore in my teens smaller than the Size 8s I'm wearing now?

After years and decades of struggling I think I'm finally figuring it out. It took long enough! Size 8, here I come.

What a Difference a Year Makes ....

Small Change Challenge

Call me crazy but I decided to join another challenge. I love the idea of making small changes because I'm all about slow and steady progress. I've lost weight quickly before but it came back on even more quickly and brought it's fat friends.

Even though I already committed to two other challenges I just couldn't resist joining Tami's Small Change Challenge. Small change adds up. Those weeks where I gained a couple of pounds or only lost .1 or .2 were frustrating but when I look at the bigger picture all those small changes added up to big results. It just takes time and a consistent effort.

I know we don't want to be patient, we don't want to wait, we want the weight off NOW but getting it off quickly doesn't mean it will stay off. If you don't learn how to live healthier you will most likely go back to your old habits once you reach your goal instead of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I don't ever want to go back to 242 pounds.

I know I've changed. I feel it. I'm not the same person I was a year and a half ago. I still have work to do but I feel so much more capable of doing it now.

My one small change for this week is to increase my water intake. I know how important it is to stay hydrated but tend to forget to drink as much water as I should. I drink plenty while I'm working out but need to keep drinking throughout the day to get the recommended daily dose. I'm shooting for 100 ounces a day.

Ok, I'm going to fill up my water bottle now and keep filling it throughout the day until I get those 100 ounces down.

Big sweeping changes can be overwhelming and seem impossible but small changes are easy. What is one small change you can make today?

Out With the Old ...

I've had this picture on my sidebar for years but I think it's about time to take it down. Deleting the picture is my way of taking a hammer to it without the cool metal smashing sounds. I was always too ashamed to display the cold hard numbers so I just used this "too much" scale as a reminder that I wasn't where I wanted to be. I should look for one that says "just right" now. I may not be at goal just yet but I'm at the point where I'll be content as long as I never go above the weight I am right now. I'm determined to never venture into the 150s again, that is going to be my line in the sand.

I think I'm going to replace the above picture with this one:

I wish I had taken progress photos regularly but I had a habit of deleting every bad picture of myself and they were all bad when I was racing my way up the scale to top out at 242 pounds. When I started this blog shortly after my 40th birthday in 2007 I weighed approximately 225 and somehow managed to gain 17 pounds the first two years even though I spent almost every waking moment thinking about how much I wanted to lose weight. I've learned that thinking about it just gets you fatter.

I'm sure nobody in their right mind would want to follow in my footsteps and take almost 4 years (only a year and a half of real effort) to get close to goal but I am proof that it can happen if you don't give up. You will get there no matter how long it takes if you keep trying things until you find what works for you. What worked for me is the anti-diet diet, the slow and steady mentality and lots of sweat. Oh, and losing my job and having the time to go to the gym everyday certainly helped. I'm not sure it would have ever happened if I didn't get laid off which is why I believe everything happens for a reason. It ended up being such a blessing. I think this may be my reward for putting up with all that b.s. for so long.

If what you're doing now isn't working, try something different. Nothing is off limits in my diet because I know as soon as you tell me I can't have something it's the only thing I want. Here's an example: DO NOT THINK ABOUT ELEPHANTS! So, what are you thinking about right now? Elephants? right? See?

If I give myself permission to have absolutely anything I want in moderation it loses its hold on me. It's no longer a temptation. I can have if I really want it. It's just food and most of the time I've tasted whatever it is before. Do I really want it? or do I want to make a better choice? You'd be surprised how often you'll make the better choice if you just give yourself permission to have what you really want (in moderation).

If you hate the elliptical, try the bike. If you hate the gym, take a walk around the block. If you want to feel strong, take a kickboxing class (I LOVE IT!!!). If you want to relax, try yoga. If you want to dance, try zumba. If you want to feel pain in every single muscle of your body, try tabata. If you can't get out of the house do some sit ups or squats throughout the day, throw some punches, do a few jumping jacks, anything to get you moving. Whatever it takes to make it work for you is what you need to find. Keep looking and don't stop until you find it.

It's time to get rid of old habits that aren't working for you and replace them with new and better ones. What small change can you make today to get you one small step closer to where you want to be? Out with the old and in with the new and improved version of you.

Second Annual 101 Days of Summer Challenge

Summer is unofficially here in the northern hemisphere! Took long enough, huh? I hope you all enjoyed the long Memorial Day weekend. I took my first swim in the pool and for the first time in a long time didn't freak out about being seen in a bathing suit. I didn't even wear shorts over my bathing suit like I've done for years. Now that is a NSV!

I had so much fun last year participating in Biz' 101 Days of Summer Challenge I decided to jump in again this year. It's interesting to look back and see where I started a year ago and the progress I made during the challenge. Last year I started the challenge at 215 pounds and broke through to Onederland by losing 17 pounds. This year I'm starting at 149 pounds and only have 8 pounds to go to reach my goal of 101 pounds lost! Sometimes I need to pinch myself because it seems so unreal after struggling for so long.

My goals for the 2011 101 Days of Summer Challenge are:

1. Get to goal FINALLY! I have 8 pounds to go to reach 101 pounds lost and get to a (high range) normal BMI.

2. Drink more water. I'm shooting for those 100 ounces per day.

3. Keep working on the C25K (I'm up to week 3 these days). This was one of my goals last year that I still haven't mastered. I thought about accepting the fact that I'm not meant to be a runner but I'm going to keep working on this one.

4. Start the hardest part of weight loss ~ maintaining it.

I tweaked my goals a bit from what I first told Biz because I decided to turn down the job that I was supposed to start tomorrow. I'm not sure if I made the right decision but I feel more at peace now that I have made the decision so that must mean something. I'm sure I'll be heading back to the work force very soon but it will not be tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to meeting new challengers and cheering everyone on. I'm sure it will be a great summer if we can all reach our goals or at least make good steady progress. As you all know by now, I'm a firm believer in slow and steady.

Rock on!

Freedom is NOT Free

Many have paid the highest price. Please remember to thank all of those who have made sacrifices for our freedom.

Happy Memorial Day!

Photographic Proof I am NOT the Biggest Loser

I've watched every single season of the Biggest Loser and was thrilled that this season ended with an all women finale. I was so excited to see the sisters, Oliva and Hannah, make it to the finals together. I love seeing people transform their lives and reach their goals but I have a few issues with the show. You can read about my love/hate relationship with TBL here. There wasn't too much drama this season and I believe almost all the "Losers" this year were there to change their lives and not just there to play the game and win the money.

I'm happy to say I no longer qualify to be on the show even if I were brave enough to get weighed in wearing a bra for all the world to see. I could barely stand to take progress photos of myself but now I wish I had. I love seeing before and after photos and wish I had the nerve to post them like many of you do. Whenever I saw a photo of my fat self I would think "who is that?" "that can't be me," "do I really look like that?" "I must destroy these photos!" Pictures can be altered and different angles can be better or worse than others but for the most part they don't lie.

In May 2010 I attended the step challenge for Season 10 of the Biggest Loser after already losing approximately 40 pounds. You can read all about how Jillian kick my ass and how burnt I was here. It was so much fun watching Season 10 with the "Boston/NY" team (Brendan, Frado and Elizabeth) after meeting them all at the challenge so I felt a special connection to their season. I have since lost an addition 50+ through Season 10 and Season 11 and I'm still not at my goal weight. I have been losing weight for over three seasons of TBL and still haven't lost as much as they all did in only 5 months. Of course we all wish the weight would come off faster but I am a firm believer that slow and steady wins the race. I've lost weight quickly before and it came back on just as quick. It really doesn't matter how long it takes you to get there as long as you are moving in the right direction.

Even though I didn't take many progress photos I did manage to find a few I didn't destroy so I could show you. The first one was taken at my 40th birthday party shortly before I started this blog in 2007. The three in the green/blue shirt were posted for Tony, the AntiJared's Missouri 60 Challenge and were the first photos of myself I put on this blog and totally freaked out about. The one in the pink shirt from May 2010 was taken at the Biggest Loser Season 10 Step Challenge after I had already lost 40 pounds.


I'm looking forward to being at goal by the time the next season of the Biggest Loser starts. Remember, it doesn't matter how long it takes to lose it. Keep making those small changes and you will get to the finish line. I'm happy to say I am NOT the Biggest Loser.

Decisions, Decisions ...

How do we ever really know when we make the right ones?

I think I'm going out of my mind. I've been having second thoughts about taking the job I accepted. I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday afternoon thinking that this time next week I'll be back to the daily grind. I know I have to go back but I don't know if I should take advantage of the time remaining to look for something better. I won't have another opportunity to have this kind of time off until I retire (unless I hit the lottery).

I also can't help but feel a bit guilty as well because there are so many people out of work that would jump at the chance to take this opportunity and the others I have turned down but I can't help how I feel. Help! I just don't know what to do.

I'm heading out to my kickboxing class and plan to stay for yoga as well. I'm hoping after two hours of all those endorphins surging through me the right decision will be clear so I can be at peace with it, whatever it is. Maybe I should just leave it to fate and flip a coin.

How do you know when you are making the right decision?

Slimmer this Summer Challenge

I'm excited to join Debbie's Slimmer this Summer challenge to help keep me focused on my goals especially during my transition back to the working world. You can check out all the details here. The challenge doesn't start until June 6th so there's plenty of time for you to join in too.

Here's what I'm hoping to accomplish during this challenge:

1. GOAL!

I'd love to finally get to my goal of losing 101 pounds. Over the years I've changed the amount but I think a 101 pound loss is a pretty good number to shoot for. It sounds pretty impressive, huh? It will put me in the high end of the normal BMI range but I think it will be a good weight to settle in at where I won't have to kill myself to maintain. I like curves and have no intention or desire to lose all of them if that were even possible. I've got a little more or a little less than 10 pounds to lose depending on what day's weight I go by.

2. WORKOUTS

I'm going back to work next week so I won't be able to get to the gym whenever I want. My goal is to go to my kickboxing classes twice a week at lunch and hit the gym for an elliptical session and weights at least once a week. I'm also planning on walking to and from the train station when the weather cooperates so I will get at least 2 miles of walking in each day as well.

3. WATER

I think increasing my water intake will be easier once I go back to work. I get enough water while I'm working out but when I'm out and about running around I sometimes forget to stay hydrated. I have my giant water bottle ready to bring to work and will shoot to get my 100 ounces a day.

4. FOOD

I'm going to try to limit my lunches out to once or twice a week and plan on brown bagging a healthy lunch and snacks the other three days. I'm also going to do my best to avoid all the candy and crap that is always being passed around the office. I have to remember that boredom is not a reason to eat. I also want to avoid the temptation to order take out or go out for dinner because I'm too tired to cook. This is probably going to mean that I will be eating dinner later than I have been but that might prevent my nighttime snack attacks.

5. MENTAL HEALTH

I need to stay positive and remember that food doesn't make stress go away. There is no need to stuff myself just because I feel stressed out. I'm going to start each day with a positive affirmation that it will be a good day. Some days it is just mind over matter, right? If we believe it will be good, it will.

I'm looking forward to reaching these goals by the time August rolls around. Who's up for a challenge? Come on, join in, it will be fun.

I'm off to get my ass kicked at TaeBox and then I'm having lunch with a dear friend. Hope you all have a great day!

Time of My Life

I've had the time of my life the past 18 months and sadly it's all coming to an abrupt end. If you've been coming around here for a while you may remember how much I hated my job and how stressed out I was. I felt sick every single day I walked off the elevator into my office to be tortured and abused just to collect the almighty paycheck. I put up with that abuse for way too long and I don't ever want to go back to that life.

I spent the first two and a half years of this blog wanting to lose weight but never actually making much progress. It wasn't until I got laid off in November 2009 that I started making any real progress on the weight loss front. The past 18 months have been such a blessing and I'm so thankful I was able to take advantage of the time I had off. I know instead of going to the gym almost every day and dropping 90 pounds it could have easily gone the other way if I sat home in front of the tv and stuffed myself from boredom.

I spent countless hours on the elliptical. I attempted to complete the C25K program (still working on that one). I've learned how hard yoga is even though it looks so damn easy. I started lifting weights and feeling strong. I've Zumbad and I found out how long 20 seconds is doing Tabata. I found out I LOVE cardio kickboxing and actually enjoy going to the gym now. I stopped binging on crappy processed foods but still indulge in foods I love. Nothing is off limits and everything, even cake and ice cream, is fine in moderation.

I have to be honest and admit I'm extremely nervous, almost terrified, about going back to work next week. Is it too soon? Should I have held out for more money? Should I have waited until I got to my goal weight? How do we ever know if we made the right decision?

How will I find the time to get to the gym after working 40 hours? How will I resist eating the crappy food that is always in the office? How will I deal with the stress? How will I make sure I don't fall into the same traps that tripped me up before? Am I strong enough to handle it now?

I'm really scared. I don't want to go back to that miserable life. I don't want to be sad, depressed, tired, lazy and fat. I am stronger now but am I strong enough? I'm hoping I've learned enough over the past 18 months to make sure I don't lose myself again going back to the daily grind. I don't ever want to gain back all the weight I lost or lose the self-confidence I found.

What really scares me is the fact that I've been here before. I've been so close to reaching my goal weight only to go back to bad habits and regain all the weight again and again. I can't let that happen again. This time will be different. I'm different. I'm not going to let a job and my need for a paycheck take that from me NO MATTER WHAT!

The transition will be hard but I pray once I get into the groove I will find a way to make it work. I see YOU making it work and I just need to learn how to do it too. Please, show me the way. I don't want to get lost again. Please let me know if you have any advice on how not to lose myself again now that I found a job.

As always, thank you so much for all the support! You are the BEST!!!

Last call ....

Good News/Bad News

Good News: I got a job!!
Bad News: I have to go back to work ;(

Good News: I'll be getting a paycheck
Bad News: The paycheck will be so much smaller

Good News: I'll be working at a low-stress office
Bad News: I'll be working in an office

Good News: I'll be working close enough to the gym to continue to go to kickboxing classes
Bad News: I'll be rushing to get there, work out and get back in a lunch hour

Good News: I've lost over 90 pounds since getting laid off in November 2009
Bad News: I'm still not at my goal after 18 months

Good News: I've lost a total of 90.3 pounds in the past 18 months
Bad News: I gained 1.6 pounds this week

Good News: I only have to lose 10.7 pounds to get to my goal
Bad News: The last 10 pounds are the hardest

Good News: I feel blessed to have had this time to take care of myself
Bad News: It's going to be much harder to find the time to take care of myself

Good News: It's Friday!
Bad News: I only have one more free Friday after today

Good News: It's all GOOD!

Steppin' It Up Challenge

PriorFatGirl and Polar USA's Steppin' It Up Challenge is complete and I'm very proud to report that I was able to log 65.75 miles of activity in 15 days which is an average of over 4 miles a day. Here's the breakdown:

Date and Distance

5/2/2011: 9.25 (2.97 elliptical; 6.21 walk)
5/3/2011: 5.00 (2.64 walk; 2.32 taebox)
5/4/2011: --
5/5/2011: 7.00 (4.82 walk; 2.3 taebox)
5/6/2011: --
5/7/2011: 3.00 (3.08 walk)
5/8/2011: 4.00 (3.92 walk)
5/9/2011: 4.50 (2.46 elliptical; 2.04 walk)
5/10/2011: 5.00 (2.78 walk; 2.33 taebox)
5/11/2011: 5.50 (2.78 elliptical; 2.77 walk)
5/12/2011: 6.5 (4.29 walk; 2.28 taebox)
5/13/2011: 6.0 (2.99 elliptical; 2.94 dreadmill)
5/14/2011: 2.5 (2.52 walk)
5/15/2011: 2.0 (1.93 walk)
5/16/2011: 5.5 (3.21 elliptical; 2.15 C25K)

Total Activity Miles: 65.75

Not too shabby, huh? I'm excited to find out how I did compared to the other competitors but I'm pretty happy with those numbers except for the two days I wasn't able to get a workout in.

Here are my FitBit weekly stats for 5/09/2011 to 5/15/2011:

TOTAL STEPS: 103,883
DAILY AVERAGE: 14,840 steps
WEEKLY BEST: 21,600 steps

TOTAL DISTANCE: 45.06 miles
DAILY AVERAGE: 6.44 miles
WEEKLY BEST: 9.33 miles

TOTAL CALS BURNED: 15,626
DAILY AVERAGE: 2,232 cals
WEEKLY BEST: 2,433 cals

WEIGHT CHANGE: 0.6 lb
LIGHTEST: 150.1 lb
HEAVIEST: 150.7 lb

As you can see, I was so damn close to breaking into the 140s. I don't know when I'll get there or when I'll reach goal (soon, I hope) but I know it will happen because I'm not giving up, no matter what.

Jen has been inspiring me for years as she has taken us along on her healthiness journey and she continues to inspire me every single day through all of her ups and downs. In her recent email to the challengers she wrote "You cannot give up. Push hard, end with a bang and give it all you have. There are no winners or losers in this challenge - this is about you pushing yourself beyond what you think you can do."

Have you been giving it all you got? Have you been pushing yourself beyond what you think you can do? Have you been steppin' it up? If not, why not? You are worth it. Get moving and Step It Up!

Steppin' It Up

Every single journey we take starts with one single step and now it is time for me to step it up and finally get to my goal. I decided to join Prior Fat Girl's Steppin' It Up Challenge which is a two week competition to log the most miles. I'm not sure how my miles are stacking up against the other competitors but I've logged almost 30 miles in the first week and I'm hoping to step it up even more the second week. As much as I would love to win the fabulous prize of a Polar Heart Rate Monitor, I'm not in it for the prizes.

For almost a year now I've been keeping track of my steps with a FitBit. It may not have all the bells and whistles of the Polar HRM but it definitely keeps me motivated to reach my goal of getting at least 10,000 steps a day. Some days are much harder than others but I've noticed that I don't come close to those 10,000 steps unless I get to the gym or go for a LONG walk.

FitBit recently started sending me weekly stats in an e-mail so I plan on recording them here so you can see how active (or inactive) I've been. Feel free to give me a little kick if you notice I've been slacking off.

Here are my stats for the week of 5/02/2011 to 5/08/2011:

TOTAL STEPS: 98,645
DAILY AVERAGE: 14,092
WEEKLY BEST: 25,137 steps

TOTAL DISTANCE: 42.31 miles
DAILY AVERAGE: 6.04 miles
WEEKLY BEST: 10.88 miles

TOTAL CALS BURNED: 15,697
DAILY AVERAGE: 2,242 cals
WEEKLY BEST: 2,717 cals

WEIGHT CHANGE: 0.5 lb
LIGHTEST: 151.2 lb
HEAVIEST: 151.7 lb

I'm still struggling to get under the 150 pound mark but I'm not stressing out about it. Just like the past 90+ pounds I've lost, these last pounds will come off slowly but surely as long as I continue doing the right things to make it possible. I figure the longer it takes me to get to goal the more likely I am to learn what I need to do to stay there and not relapse like I've done in the past.

Summer is just around the corner for those of us in the northern hemisphere. What are you doing to step it up?

May Day! May Day!

Happy May Day!

It's almost time to break out the bathing suits for those of us who have struggled through a long cold snowy winter. Spring has finally sprung here in the Northeast and my itchy, watery eyes and non-stop sneezing fits prove that things are bloomin' and pollen is flying everywhere.

I've been dancing around the 150 pound mark but haven't been able to break through to the 140s yet. "They" say that the last 10 pounds are the hardest to lose but I disagree. Every single pound lost is hard and takes effort but it is worth it. I managed to gain 1.3 pounds this week but I'm used to the roller coaster by now and know that it's just how my body fluctuates. I generally have a few good weeks of losses and then a gain.

I'm planning on joining a couple of challenges to keep me motivated and hopefully help me reach my goal this month or next. I'm a very slow loser but I'm getting there, slowly but surely. As soon as I get all the challenge details I'll let you know all about it.

Have a great May Day!